Everything is a trigger

[Punky143]

I hate the month of October. Between the seasons changing, dark coming earlier each day and the anniversary of something very bad that happened. I feel out of control, alone and scared. My dissociation gets worse and my ability to tolerate everything becomes overwhelming. Yes, I have skills but I struggle to remember them as well as a lot of other things and not all of my parts know them or care to use them. But I try and I try harder than anyone will ever know. But it doesn't matter because I don't really have any friends or at least a close friend. I'm overwhelmed and don't know what I need. Any thoughts?

 

[MrMoonlight]

It's kinda a creepy time of year for me too, lots of reminders through some are mitigated by the desert. Are you able to change your environment a little? (smells, sounds lights) Some people use tanning beds or home sunlight therapy devices.?

 

[pam4him]

So sorry. I, too, have struggled with similar triggers. The good news is, you know your triggers. The next step is to work through them methodically, perhaps one at a time. For example, maybe set lights on a timer so you don't come home to a dark place. Next, maybe try to avoid tv shows that have similar themes as what happened to you. Consider writing out your skills and posting where you can see them easily, possibly in several places - in the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, on your phone, etc. Then try to make yourself read and use them when there's a trigger. There's a text option for help if you get too overwhelmed at 741741. Prayers for peace and strength.

 

[Friday]

But I try and I try harder than anyone will ever know. But it doesn't matter because I don't really have any friends or at least a close friend.

Does other people knowing help you?

 

[pam4him]

Perhaps try some reverse psychology on yourself? Consider not trying so hard, letting the emotions come out on their own. Then perhaps it could help you be more relaxed and approachable by other people? Just a thought. Continued prayers for peace and strength.