Justmehere
Sponsor
Hi all,
I'm battling PTSD and effects of orthopedic surgery plus surgical complications... and now a stomach bug.
I was supposed to return to work for a full day 2 days next week on Feb 4. Just two days. Then I have a week off until I start some half day shifts for 2-3 days a week for several weeks. (My job is weird and scheduling is funky because of various deadlines.) PA said I could do it. So I convinced work I could do it.
I asked PT what I need to do to be ready by the 4th, and PT yesterday said NOPE, wait another week and start half days. Surgeon says if I am feeling uneasy or unsure, don't do it, not worth the risk (the repair of my leg and my health is more fragile right now than I like to accept.) Primary said to practice full days of similar activity at home, and if I can do it for a week, then and only then, go back.
I can't do it yet.
I never call in sick.
If I am sick, I'll show up with a fever, and just push through, unless I'm in a hospital. It's a very part time contractual job, and I work my ass off to prove I can do it and do it well. I enjoy my job a lot. Pay is crappy, but for now, it's a good way to slowly work my way off disability. I'm going stir crazy at home, so ready to be back at work, could really use the income, but I get really tired and that makes me a fall risk and the worst thing that could happen right now is that I fall - that will mean a lot of problems. More surgeries, longer time stuck...etc, etc. Except for my fatigue levels, I can do the job they are putting me in until I get off crutches.
Two weeks ago, I talked them into a post surgery return on Feb 4th. They are counting on me... but I am very replaceable. They can do it without me, as long as they find a replacement in time, so the sooner I let them know the better. The worst thing I could do is back out the last minute. They can handle it, but it would be a lot of scrambling and problems.
I think the best thing for me to do is tell them now I caught the flu, we should play it safe, see if they can find a replacement. If they can't I'll do it, and I do technically can probably get medical approval, but if they can find the replacement, it's probably for the best for all.
What is catching me up is 1.) how much I want to work 2.) how much I had to work at talking them into a return on the 4th instead of later, and that I have to admit I was wrong.
I over promised. Now I have to admit I can't deliver?
Flu bugs happen, but if I was not recovering from surgery, I think I could do it... ok so my PT said no, I still couldn't, which makes me feel worse. PT says I could physically probably do it but would be so exhausted and in pain I couldn't go back the second day, and I might overlook something and fall. I have a wheelchair as an option, but we are still working out how to get my leg propped right in it and she still says no, you would still have to use crutches for transfers... so I can't escape the fall risk. I'm also nervous about someone bumping into my leg too soon, but I don't know how much I should be worried about that.
I want to work! I can't seem to pick up the phone or type the email to tell them they should find the replacement. I hate admitting I'm weak and can't do what I said I could do.
Any thoughts or advice? I'm new enough to working after time on disability that I am uneasy I don't know the right things to do in this situation.
I'm battling PTSD and effects of orthopedic surgery plus surgical complications... and now a stomach bug.
I was supposed to return to work for a full day 2 days next week on Feb 4. Just two days. Then I have a week off until I start some half day shifts for 2-3 days a week for several weeks. (My job is weird and scheduling is funky because of various deadlines.) PA said I could do it. So I convinced work I could do it.
I asked PT what I need to do to be ready by the 4th, and PT yesterday said NOPE, wait another week and start half days. Surgeon says if I am feeling uneasy or unsure, don't do it, not worth the risk (the repair of my leg and my health is more fragile right now than I like to accept.) Primary said to practice full days of similar activity at home, and if I can do it for a week, then and only then, go back.
I can't do it yet.
I never call in sick.
If I am sick, I'll show up with a fever, and just push through, unless I'm in a hospital. It's a very part time contractual job, and I work my ass off to prove I can do it and do it well. I enjoy my job a lot. Pay is crappy, but for now, it's a good way to slowly work my way off disability. I'm going stir crazy at home, so ready to be back at work, could really use the income, but I get really tired and that makes me a fall risk and the worst thing that could happen right now is that I fall - that will mean a lot of problems. More surgeries, longer time stuck...etc, etc. Except for my fatigue levels, I can do the job they are putting me in until I get off crutches.
Two weeks ago, I talked them into a post surgery return on Feb 4th. They are counting on me... but I am very replaceable. They can do it without me, as long as they find a replacement in time, so the sooner I let them know the better. The worst thing I could do is back out the last minute. They can handle it, but it would be a lot of scrambling and problems.
I think the best thing for me to do is tell them now I caught the flu, we should play it safe, see if they can find a replacement. If they can't I'll do it, and I do technically can probably get medical approval, but if they can find the replacement, it's probably for the best for all.
What is catching me up is 1.) how much I want to work 2.) how much I had to work at talking them into a return on the 4th instead of later, and that I have to admit I was wrong.
I over promised. Now I have to admit I can't deliver?
Flu bugs happen, but if I was not recovering from surgery, I think I could do it... ok so my PT said no, I still couldn't, which makes me feel worse. PT says I could physically probably do it but would be so exhausted and in pain I couldn't go back the second day, and I might overlook something and fall. I have a wheelchair as an option, but we are still working out how to get my leg propped right in it and she still says no, you would still have to use crutches for transfers... so I can't escape the fall risk. I'm also nervous about someone bumping into my leg too soon, but I don't know how much I should be worried about that.
I want to work! I can't seem to pick up the phone or type the email to tell them they should find the replacement. I hate admitting I'm weak and can't do what I said I could do.
Any thoughts or advice? I'm new enough to working after time on disability that I am uneasy I don't know the right things to do in this situation.
