cant remember things i did during anger outburst

[hope4us]

sometimes when i get extremely overwhelmed with negative emotions especially anger, i have really bad outbursts where i lose control of myself and yell and throw things and break things. sometimes i dont remember saying certain things that i supposedly said. or ill find certain things are broken, but im not sure exactly how i broke it. am i blacking out? why is it so hard to remember? anyone else do this?

 

[blackemerald1]

Hello @spuntfaround - my suggestion is you seek out the services of a good psychiatrist and let him know about your phobic aversion to bugs, roaches and loss of control.

You may have more than cptsd going on at the moment. You need to seek professional help to find out and potentially obtain appropriate treatment.

Losing control of yourself, breaking things, throwing things, saying things that you don't remember is not, on its own and in my opinion, attributable to cptsd. But I'm not a health professional and that's the only type of person who can really determine what might be causing this.

I don't know if you're blacking out. Sometimes rage attacks can be like losing a sense of reality but then so can lots of other mental and emotional episodes.

Whilst you are obtaining your referral to get to the psychiatrist - if possible - also ask your gp to run some blood tests to eliminate any physical causes too.

Good luck

 

[Ronin]

^^ And a referral to a neurologist if possible, as well.

(Thinking of seizures & other neuro events that could very easily be causing those symptoms, and are worth considered and ruled out as causes.)

 

[hope4us]

Hello @spuntfaround - my suggestion is you seek out the services of a good psychiatrist and let him know about your phobic aversion to bugs, roaches and loss of control.

You may have more than cptsd going on at the moment. You need to seek professional help to find out and potentially obtain appropriate treatment.

Losing control of yourself, breaking things, throwing things, saying things that you don't remember is not, on its own and in my opinion, attributable to cptsd. But I'm not a health professional and that's the only type of person who can really determine what might be causing this.

I don't know if you're blacking out. Sometimes rage attacks can be like losing a sense of reality but then so can lots of other mental and emotional episodes.

Whilst you are obtaining your referral to get to the psychiatrist - if possible - also ask your gp to run some blood tests to eliminate any physical causes too.

Good luck

what if i dont have money to see a psychiatrist? and there is a thousand more crazy things going on with me, this is only a very small part of it all. i write about it more in my next post if your interested

 

[Whirlwind]

what if i dont have money to see a psychiatrist? and there is a thousand more crazy things going on with me, this is only a very small part of it all

Given all of your posts it seems you want help and recognize a need. That is going to require more than support from this forum. Everyone can only guess at what is going on with you.

You can start with calling the DV hotline and they can connect you with free or low cost resources in your area. There are usually other resource centers as well. Here are a couple of links. It may take a few phone calls but resources are out there.

National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1-800-799-7233
Get Immediate Help | MentalHealth.gov

Good Luck,

W

 

[shatter eyes]

I have had the same thing. Comparing to ine year ago I have improved and recover memory sooner than before....it was just blank. I had a few over the past 2 weeks. Smashing and breaking things. Having self harm thoughts...explosive emotions.

My psych says it is stress induced amnesia. Basically due to PTSd the brain wiring has changed to survival mode as default. All the juice goes into fight flight freeze and there is just no energy going to power the memory processes to encode ehats going on. I know it is scary. Things do get better with practice and holding on to hope.

Trauma counsellor suggested nostril breathing every morning to build up the stress tolerance. 5 seconds in, 8 seconds out. X10

Also I know when we feel overwhelmed and fatigued the outbursts happen much easier. It really sucks.

 

[Ronin]

And other things that comes to mind... nutrition.

As in dysbalanced diet lacking whichever your body needs and been needing for months can cause quite mood swingy upheaval.

Ditto hormonal. Aka worth consulting not just a shrink, but a GP, whoever the GP recommends of specialists, a nutritionist, and others, soonest possible.

 

[8888]

I can relate to this. I do have outbursts and will yell things and later not remember. If I do break something I will remember though. For my psychiatric medications have been helpful. I've been to therapy but it only helps to an extent. I have been told residential treatment would be a good idea but I can't get the insurance to agree to pay for it and I don't have the funds to pay myself. Perhaps you have better insurance than me and want to look into residential treatment. Or even just go to the psych ward for a few days and hope they can witness an episode just to be sure you don't have an underlying medical problem. For me they did an EEG, MRI, CT Scan and some other tests but didn't find anything.