Hi Pottershand,
I'm new here. Others have made some good suggestions.
Worst-case scenario, if you lose your housing. 1) save money on food by hitting the foodbanks up 2) Keep money aside for if you need to keep your belongings in storage-- e.g. if you have a lot of furniture-- there are usually moving companies that can move your stuff and keep in storage for you. 3) Other option, if the furniture is not so great and you don't have high storage demands, then don't worry about.
I'm in Canada, so I'm not sure how your social services work there. We have welfare and also Disability coverage and programs for financial help for e.g. women with children. Disability and Family Benefits give out more than welfare, but sometimes people start on welfare until applications have been approved for disability. Benefits also can include things like "start-up allowances" some $ to go towards furniture for a new place. We also have church-run organizations, that also help donate furniture (here it's St. Vincent dePaul's and if you've been a member of a church, you get special benefit, free furniture, including free delivery).
The people at the women's shelter ought to be able to fill you in more on what exists in social services, emergency aid funds, etc.
I've never been able to own a house, I've been sick with PTSD for the past 10 years and it hit me when I was in school, I worked a lousy job before that, so no benefits, no security, etc. My younger brother was likewise affected (cause the family of origin was really really sick and abusive). My brother was able to get full time work but still couldn't afford his one bedroom apartment on his wages.
Meanwhile I had to go on state Disability, risk of homelessness was there for both, so we got together to make it work. We are crowded 3 people to a one bedroom, but it's a better neighbourhood. Had to "think outside the box", and divide the living-room into two bedrooms-- I just had to get over the 'expectations' I had before. Anyway, we've been able to make this work, and it's turned out to be blessing in fact, because it's better living and more cheaper (my brother was getting stressed also because his wages were not enough and he was having to use credit to pay for his living expenses, food, rent). This living arrangement means we can withstand job loss, so one less stress and it gives my brother a chance to try to pay down his credit card.
Money/debt stressors: here we have something called "Credit Consolidators" and what they are able to do is negotiate with people we owe money to lower the payments, even the whole amount, because from a business perspective, creditors are happy to have some payment than no payment at all. I don't know if there is something similar where you live, but it's an option not many people know about, untill they really need to know!!! ;-)
Sometimes there are surprise blessings-- getting away from an abusive husband is one of those things that will feel much better once you get re-settled again. . . and that will happen. These stressors you are going through are not permanent, not the end of the world.
As for PTSD overwhelment through this: I was able to get some help for myself via a local drop-in centre (serves homeless) and with help of my social worker, to obtain a "mental health worker" and advocate to help support me while I was going through the stress of Disability applications (my dissociation was quite severe, blanking in and out of being aware of the present moment, it was hard to answer questions, etc.)-- so this was good support for me.
It sounds like the shelter people are a good contact and they should know a lot about local services and programs to help you and your children. Where I live we also have the "Mobile Crisis Unit" which can be accessed through the emergency crisis lines-- they also have social workers that can come meet me where I'm at if I'm having complex problems, e.g. suicidal, facing homelessness, messed up with PTSD. I've heard the spread of this service across Canada and also through some States.
Bureaucracy exists when it comes to trying to seek funding from the government. Yep, it's a fact. Sometimes there are alternative ways to find funding, like Blue Cat suggested, via some of the church run organizations.
Anyway, I understand that right now things are high stress for you, and understably so, this is a major life transition going on and and the same time hampered by financial stress and PTSD stress.
I agree with others, you and your children are the most important here, beyond any possessions. I feel this way about my brother, who's also been PTSD damaged (and closer to DID). Something we tell ourselves: "Where there is Breath, there is Hope"-- it goes with our yoga training, but it's also true. You just need to survive this period of time and this chaos-- and you will-- you're a strong woman, who had the courage to get out of an abusive marriage; who had the courage and faith to have children-- you're a lot stronger than you realize.
And it's completely okay to say, "man, this feels like enough!!!", because I'm sure it is overwhelming right now. Sometimes I surrender to the difficult leaves a space for creative problem solving, finding out about where to get help, how to move through the system. Blue Cat's suggestions are good-- phone, write your local politicians, use the press. Do whatever you have to. You'll get through this though.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she hits hot water" ! We Candians up here admire many of you people down there in the states :) It's tough times though, economically. The middle class doesn't feel it up here, but the working class sure does. It's very sad to hear about the housing bust, and foreclosures.
Sending you prayers (from up here, A Canuk ;) )
~Nishkaa
