• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

What Does Covid Mean For You?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Skywatcher

Diamond Member
For me, Covid confirms that the world isn’t safe. People aren’t safe. Before, it was that people that appeared to be good could turn evil in an instant. Now, it’s that someone can appear healthy or say that they followed safety rules, but they aren’t safe. There are still plenty of people in our world that don’t care about mental health. People are selfish, stupid or both.

Covid means that my therapist is selfless and genuine. She cares and is safe. My immediate family loves me. My young clients genuinely love our craft. Most of them come from good family’s that truly love and care for them. My anxiety can be managed by me, but really does still require assistance. Nature is necessary. Forgiveness.
 
Covid to me? Means finding ways to help my family and the vulnerable people living around me - people that I don't necessarily know. That's been the strong theme as it's broken out here and, I suspect, the best way of protecting my mental health during what will be an incredibly difficult year.
 
It means STRESS & REMINDERS
Restricted comings & goings, being crammed in with others & not at liberty to leave. The lack of space, privacy, and freedom of movement are reminders. My sleep sucks now, I am physically very tense, & my fuse is getting pretty short in general.

Everyone's irritations are magnified due to stress and crowding so managing dumb interpersonal crap with higher impact of "failing" to manage others' already heightened emotions. This is making home and work both suck. I'm a manager in an "essential" business.

Scarcity & lack of options caused by stupid overreactions. That's more putting up with other people's reactions, writ large.

OPPORTUNITY to rise to the occasion - Am trying to focus on the fact, along with a bunch of other very solid colleagues, that I've contributed a lot to some urgent rollouts at work that allow us to keep serving our client base safely, but the shut-in, no choices, no-privacy atmosphere is a huge "stressor" and reminder.


PUZZLEMENT/OTHERNESS - I don't relate at all to the fear or public panic about possibly personally falling ill or dying of this. I am not in any risk categories & I am not that attached to my own life for its own sake (not depressed, not PTSD thinking, that's just a lifelong worldview I'm pretty sure I have always had) so I don't see the point. I'm following the rules because it's the right thing to do for others though.

I do understand -intellectually- that people are worried about bringing it home & sickening loved ones. I think I'd be beside myself if my spouse or sibling got seriously ill because of me or anyone else & if their loved ones did I would want to do what I can to ease Spouse's or Sibling's pain/worry for them. Same for my friends with older parents they're close to.

But this is like Mother's Day and birthdays in a way because of all the "family" talk - quit asking me how my parents are and if I'm checking on them. I am checking with the one I am on good terms with but that's nobody's business. Do not ask about the other one or how I'm coping with their risk because I don't want to deal with your incredulity or guilt trips when I can't fake the kind of concern a closer family would have for each other. I guess I'm happy for the askers that they don't understand.

(And no, I don't yearn for closeness, nor do I feel like anything's wrong with me for not wanting that. It is what it is and I've got other relationships.)
 
What does COVID mean to me? It means making decisions of which employees are essential and which I can designate as non-essential. Which leads to me making decisions about potentially putting individuals and their families at risk, it means making decisions about how long my organization can afford to to continue to pay people their full wages to not to come to work because I don't want to cause further economic damage to their family.

It means additional stress that I am trying to manage but those maladaptive coping mechanism keeping whispering in my ear about how they would help me so much more than the positive things I am trying to do. It means working 60-80 hours a week both in the office and from home worrying about my employees, my family and watching as my state quickly becomes one of the fastest increasing hotspots in America wanting to scream at the idiots that are violating the shelter in place order with statements like "I just needed to get out of the house, I won't report my hours don't worry" NO, I CAN'T LET YOU WORK, I CAN'T LET YOU BE OUT AND YOU ARE A HIGH RISK INDIVIDUAL.

It means learning to adjust to the fact that the guy I have been in a very slowly evolving friendship/relationship with since last August may end up coming out of this stronger and better than than we went in because I am finding myself being treated in a way that I have never been treated before. He checks in on me every day even though he is an executive at an essential business working as many hours a week as I am and we can't see each other. He makes sure that I have enough stockpiled supplies, checks on how my son is doing as he has been home with Mono for the last 12 days thank heavens that not COVID.
 
For me, covid-19 highlights the value and importance of vaccines.

It's providing a pretty clear picture of how quickly these infections can spread and get out of control, when we don't have any means to actually cure them.

Also, the value and importance of common sense. And, y'know, not being an arsehole.
 
This is hard because COVID-19 is not the only thing complicating my world right now and I have trouble separating it out.

But...it reminds me how amazingly resilient and caring people can be. How very fragile we truly are. But it also has highlighted how very stupid and uncaring and downright vicious people can be.

It's a very complicated time.
 
1. That it’s super weird to have other people living my normal.

Every year the cold/flu season (in this climate) could kill us. Yet the same school that gets super angry at us when my kid misses a month? For actually being sick? Is now closed for 2 months. Not because the kids ARE sick, and might be dying... but because the kids might get sick. Is just one of hundreds of examples.

2. That it’s a thousand times easier to be out & about, when other people are practicing -what used to be considered, and still is, in places without first world medicine- common courtesy.

3. That my plans for living a normal life, for me and my kid, have just had the breaks thrown on them... again. Because no one is living a normal life, at the moment. At least this time it’s not my fault? (Okay, only 4% of me is blaming myself for the woes of the world. It’s a super power, what can I say? ;) Joking/Not Joking.)

4. That I’m super calm/relaxed, and everything is coming easily, at the moment. Byproduct of the people around me freaking out. Once everyone else calms their tits I’ll be in a world of hurt, but until then? I’ve got energy and clear headedness in spades. I could make #3 happen just by snapping my fingers... if there were a normal life to live at the moment. Which there isn’t. Which is just making me laugh my ass off. So. My. Life. (If it was? It would be. If it were? It could be. But as it isn’t? It’s quaint. Cause as it is? It ain’t!)

5. Grateful that outbreaks don’t fall in my “be useful” category. I avoid outbreaks like the plague. I didn’t used to, but one measles epidemic was enough. Nope. Not gonna do it. I like enemies I can see, thanks. Maybe 1/3 of my family is in medical/scientific research. That’s not my balliwick. So it’s “nice” not to be subsumed in guilt for not being able to do more.

6. I usually only have to worry about 2 people during cold/flu season. Now I’ve got 40-60 people to worry about. Bad odds, there. So the cold/hard creeping in shouldn’t be a surprise. The knowledge that we’re (probably) going to be losing people? I’ve never really known/realized was a first step to that. It’s making a lot of things make more sense. On why sometimes it kicks in and sometimes it doesn’t.
 
That it’s a thousand times easier to be out & about, when other people are practicing -what used to be considered, and still is, in places without first world medicine- common courtesy.

I experience this, too. And for some reason, I'm scheduling times to go out - I actually went for a walk and took pictures yesterday - when I haven't done that in months.

That I’m super calm/relaxed, and everything is coming easily, at the moment. Byproduct of the people around me freaking out. Once everyone else calms their tits I’ll be in a world of hurt, but until then? I’ve got energy and clear headedness in spades. I could make #3 happen just by snapping my fingers... if there were a normal life to live at the moment. Which there isn’t. Which is just making me laugh my ass off. So. My. Life. (If it was? It would be. If it were? It could be. But as it isn’t? It’s quaint. Cause as it is? It ain’t!)

Yes! Why is that? I thought it was because I'm in kind of a detox phase after quitting my job, but it seems other people are feeling the same. I'm thinking, though, maybe it's because everybody else is dealing with all these changes that are way outside their norm and, for me, it's like...WooHoo! Sadly (I guess) there is this sense of being in control when everyone else is not.
 
Grateful that outbreaks don’t fall in my “be useful” category. I avoid outbreaks like the plague. I didn’t used to, but one measles epidemic was enough. Nope. Not gonna do it. I like enemies I can see, thanks. Maybe 1/3 of my family is in medical/scientific research. That’s not my balliwick. So it’s “nice” not to be subsumed in guilt for not being able to do more.

<tilts head about Not In That Cat>
... D'uh. Never figured that's an option, to just shuffle balls of issues thrown one's way like that and sit guilt on its ass before it knocks & says hi.

Super useful.
Slightly minds blowing.
But useful splode ;)
 
It's kind of a forced break to the eternally running treadmill.

It's seeing people come together to help others in a way I've never seen in my life.

It shows up how little the government cares for it's people.

As others have said, it has been interesting to see how others react to living my normal. Bringing into sharp relief how difficult my circumstances are. So that's kind of shining a light on how strong I am.

It means yet another put on hold for me getting out and living a little. But it also has frightened me and I've been able to manage that pretty well considering. Made me grateful for this moment.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom