Does this happen to other people?
Yes. I am really sorry this is happening to you
@Woodsforthetrees.
So this used to happen to me often. For me it was an entire freeze and I would just randomly drop to the ground and not be able to move. It was terrifying to me and really screwed with my life. I am just now - 10 years later - starting to trust that I can go out without fear of having an issue if I am surprised while out.
A few things to mention that may be of help.
1. Try, if you can, to focus on a small piece of your anatomy instead of 'my arms'. For instance, try to throw your focus on your top digit of your right index finger and work on moving that. I found that when I did that the entire freeze response went away. Freed me up totally and made the response less scary and me more in control for the future.
I was stuck frozen with a washing up bowl in one hand and a dish in the other
2, Any idea what was happening in your mind at the time? Were you having a flashback? Trying to figure something out? Any idea what you were feeling?
My mind came back to the present and I could speak and orientate myself
3. Any idea what happened to have you get your mind back? What was the trigger or action that allowed this to happen. If you don't know this time - it may be worth investigating in the future to help break the fear response so it doesn't happen again.
4. How do you know your mind came back to the present. Also, did it come back quickly or did you feel it come on slowly? That will be important information when trying to stop the behaviour in the future.
My boyfriend tried to get the dishes loose but couldn't.
5. Is it possible do you think, if it were to happen in the future that you and your boyfriend could come up with a dialog that helps you give the problem to your boyfriend if it were to happen again? I don't know what your dialog was with him at the time but I found that learning how to release agency to someone while I was in this state was really helpful. A conversation something like this:
You: I feel like I can't let go of these things. I don't know what is happening.
BF: Hey, not to worry. It is okay. Try to focus on moving just your index finger and I will hold onto the dish.towel so the dish won't break when you let go. Everything will be okay. It will pass.
Something like that. Honestly, it is such a messed up and vulnerable feeling when things freeze up that having someone to count on to watch your back so to speak and trusting in that can be a game changer.
This won't last forever I want to assure you of that. There is an integration process between body mind and in your good moments really try to set yourself up and your internal dialog up so that you can actually be mindful of the connection between your body and mind. That happened with me by literally saying to myself (a lot) over normal stupid things like putting on socks and brushing teeth - I am doing this to help (protect, nurture - whatever word feels right to you), my body.
Think of trying to teach a child how to gain awareness of their body. That is literally what this process is. You are reconnecting your body and mind in a nurturing way - not in a trauma based way which is most likely what your trauma has programmed into your body. You need to teach it that you are watching out for it and in control of its well being.
This used to happen to me ever time I went into the kitchen. I actually used it as an aid to determine what my window of tolerance was at the time. I used it to be able to be and work in the kitchen again. It was a helpful thing, once I started understanding that this behaviour wasn't actually my enemy but rather a tool I could use in order to get my life back again.
