One fascinating thing about certain therapies (not all of them even though depending what you are dealing with or how long the therapy takes) is that it sort of similar (not equal) to child development. You know how a child tells everything that is in her mind to the parent and then at some point the child starts not to over share because they learn how to hold what is in their mind cause they realize others have their own stories and their own minds and are not sharing.
It is really a fascinating threshold during development and we all learn in variety of ways on a full spectrum depending again our own bringing up and how much safety and non-traumatic events. So in therapy, similar things happen. We sort of as adult turn off that part of our brain in order to show the contents of our processing... so the therapist can have full access and help us (similar to the mother but not equal to). This conscious decision of allowing others to see our contents is the therapy and the reason therapy is special relationship. We do not do that with even our most trusted spouses.
The problem and something most of us not appreciate (at least overtly) is when an adult allows this freedom of consciousness, and the adult has trauma where this area was abused (the brain wash or distortion in cognition or beliefs or brutal shutdown etc), by hearing our voices and hearing our unconscious that our body remembered from the traumatic events creates a lot of shame. It is like omg I did not know I was that f*cked up or that stupid or that bad or that or that - lots of self blame and self critic....we realized all these things inside of us from what was told to us but we did not process or what we felt about the abuser but we forget. It becomes full of shame spewing. But the sharing of it with another who cares about us, who supports us, who makes us feel safe is part of the healing. A lot of us may not remember all things said in therapy forever...that is the beauty of opening up the contents, we forget but we remember the feelings evoked with the person in the room with us. You knowing something is not as same as doing it or believing it. Just knowing which gives you a foundation to be informed, to be emphatic, to be an adult. Nothing wrong with knowing.
I do not know your full story but if you felt oversharing and shame afterwards, this is really good for going through and passing to see your inner beauty as a human being who experienced a tragedy. I often say this and I will repeat again: the fact you write here your fear and you feeling them in order to write and express is a great step. A very important need inside of you wrote this so you do not forget. That is a knowledge you saved.
I wish you well and I hope you sit with this and go back when you are ready and built up some strong structural layers for coping.
All the best in your journey.
