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Dangerously Discouraged

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molten8gold

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Tonight I had a complete breakdown uncontrollable weeping and shaking. My lovely neighbors decided to set off fireworks, which triggered a massive meltdown. Not only am I autistic, I have complex PTSD so not a good combination. Right now I feel like I don't belong in a world like this. Not only has it gone mad, all the familiar parameters seem to have melted away and people are doing whatever the hell they please. I can't stop shivering and am trying not to slide into the dangerous suicidal thoughts right now. So discouraged, it is really hard to go on.
 
Hiya @molten8gold , hang in there my friend. All is not lost. Sorry that your having a bad time but remember that it will pass. The brain can only sustain anxiety for about 10 minutes then it starts to subside. Yes the world has gone mad but that doesn't mean that you have to as well.I haven't slept or Eaton for 21 hours but I'm sending you positive thoughts your way. Best wishes S3. ?
 
Right now I feel like I don't belong in a world like this. Not only has it gone mad, all the familiar parameters seem to have melted away and people are doing whatever the hell they please.
In the past hundred years or so the MOST chaotic it’s been in the West was what? World War II? Or maybe the Spanish flu? How long did that last? Both lasted roughly 5 years, give or take, including lead up & cleanup. So unless you’re 96yo, even if we had 5 years of chaos, you’re more probably looking at 30/40/50+ years of living well following a few years of chaos... rather than this is the way it’s always going to be until the day you die.

One better? Whilst PTSD symptoms become more manageable, other disorders we shape our LIVES around them, yes? Learning how affected you are by the periodic bouts of chaos that crop up once a generation or so, gives you PHENOM tools for how to build/design your life to be as unimpacted as possible by what other people are doing, and still living your own life to the hilt. A very challenging design, to be sure, but that can be half the fun :sneaky:
 
In the past hundred years or so the MOST chaotic it’s been in the West was what? World War II? Or maybe the Spanish flu? How long did that last? Both lasted roughly 5 years, give or take, including lead up & cleanup. So unless you’re 96yo, even if we had 5 years of chaos, you’re more probably looking at 30/40/50+ years of living well following a few years of chaos... rather than this is the way it’s always going to be until the day you die.

One better? Whilst PTSD symptoms become more manageable, other disorders we shape our LIVES around them, yes? Learning how affected you are by the periodic bouts of chaos that crop up once a generation or so, gives you PHENOM tools for how to build/design your life to be as unimpacted as possible by what other people are doing, and still living your own life to the hilt. A very challenging design, to be sure, but that can be half the fun :sneaky:
Likely it will be this way until the day I die, since I am over sixty and in very poor health. I was in lockdown long before COVID, and there are less and less things that I can do to feel better. I know this too shall pass, but it is not passing fast enough!
 
Moltengold, I feel you. These loud fireworks ( for days) has had my roommate and I screaming when one goes off and ready to drop to the ground. No fun at all being triggered. The mind is hard wired to find the negatives- it is survival- a primitive process from what is called the reptilian part of the brain- fight, flight or freeze. Can you practice kindness for yourself knowing that it is a response from your past and that it’s not happening now? Not saying it is easy. What inner monologue are hearing? Can you construct a dialogue that nurtures you? Can you journal what you feel you are needing or wanting? Connect with supportive friends??? Old dogs ( not calling you or anyone a dog just the phrase popular in our time) CAN learn new tricks! Keep on keeping on. A baby step is still a step. Best wishes.
 
Moltengold, I feel you. These loud fireworks ( for days) has had my roommate and I screaming when one goes off and ready to drop to the ground. No fun at all being triggered. The mind is hard wired to find the negatives- it is survival- a primitive process from what is called the reptilian part of the brain- fight, flight or freeze. Can you practice kindness for yourself knowing that it is a response from your past and that it’s not happening now? Not saying it is easy. What inner monologue are hearing? Can you construct a dialogue that nurtures you? Can you journal what you feel you are needing or wanting? Connect with supportive friends??? Old dogs ( not calling you or anyone a dog just the phrase popular in our time) CAN learn new tricks! Keep on keeping on. A baby step is still a step. Best wishes.
I appreciate your kind words. True, it is so hard when these loud noises trigger and trigger and trigger. I finally have to resort to sedatives which I hate. I sometimes feel rage which is also hard because we are supposed to be civilized and I have nowhere to put all that anger.
 
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