Inner Kid Work

[futurefocussed]

My little angel first started peeking out when I was looking after a group of preschool children, she loved it when I read them stories and gradually came out and started listening, she loves it when I read to her now and she has her own little library that we're working through. I think I wrote a letter to her once, but I can't remember. She doesn't remember the trauma but has the same strong fear of abandonment that I do and doesn't like being alone, we have lots of puzzle books too and it's like I'm learning to care more through caring for her, she says sometimes that I'm like her mummy.

 

[TruthSeeker]

We had the toenail removed from the left big toe. Inner child dealt with it pretty well, until the soaking in Epsom salts. That stings! She tries to get me to take my foot out before I'm supposed to. I have to comfort her next time we soak the foot. I did tell her that we getting closer and closer to the time for that. It wasn't enough. She needs more comforting than that. And a treat.

Treats work in my world, too!

 

[EmmaOwl]

Not knowing where you are on your healing journey, I forgot to add, that I did not start this work until I had a number of years in therapy.

I hadn't thought about that. I imagine you'd want to get to know your therapist pretty well before going down that particular path, putting yourself at your most vulnerable.

 

[Friday]

It’s not something I do. One of my better explinations as to why is in the following quote from a thread about IFS.

For me? I already broke, and broke badly. It took me a long ass time to duct tape all my broken pieces back together in quasi-working fashion ... and re-fragmenting myself? Into even more broken pieces, along new fault lines, in addition to the old ones? Is just a reeeeeeally bad idea. FUBAR bad. Hence IFS is really not useful to me.

I know a helluva lot of people who didn’t break. More like they origami’d... folding the parts of themselves that they can’t deal with, right now, away. Until they almost become 2 dimensional representations of themselves. These are the people I see IFS work great for IF...

• A good therapist? Is able to help unfold those pieces. Reintroducing the shape and structure of those pieces to the whole, giving them their proper place, (not folded away, sometimes under layers and layers of folds until they’re invisible and not just out of the way but completely obscured or forgotten). And voila! (Long process made short ;)) A 3 dimsenional self starts emerging.
• A shit therapist? (IMO) hands over the scissors and has their client start cutting along the folds :banghead:creating broken pieces, fragmented selves, artificial separation. (For a few different reasons, ranging from laziness, to wanting a sexy client, to well intentioned idiot; assessing the problem wrongly and creating far more problems).

So, FWIW, how I see it

- Is a person Fragmented or Folded (where are they starting from?)

- What do they need to learn? (What brings them together instead of distancing?)

- How good is their therapist?

 

[ladee]

@Allie D. the reason I added that was because it's important to have a long term working relationship with your T. To be clear about what direction you are taking in your healing. And to have tools to use when things get bad or rough.

It is not recommended for those with DID. It can cause more damage than benefits. It also helps if you have an idea of how you want to parent.

It's not for everyone. And I was pretty broken. But I intuitively knew it was something I wanted to do. It was a healthy integration for me. But it took a long time. Just like therapy does. It's not like you set down and write a letter to your little and everything is ok. So if you have guidance and trust who is helping you, it helps.

I added that statement because very early on in my healing journey, it would have only caused more harm, confusion and pain. Just didn't want you stepping off into something that you had an idea that it would help without knowing what you were getting into.

It has been very therapeutic for me. And for others. But it's just smart to know yourself better before starting. I had been in therapy for five years before I started.

Talk with your T and see how they feel about it. See if they are qualified to guide if you do start it one day. It can be incorporated into the therapy work you do as you go along.

Hope this helps to understand it's not quick, can get complicated and it's important to have someone who knows you and can help guide and help you to understand what is going on. Wish you well if you ever decide it's the right thing for you.

 

[EmmaOwl]

@Allie D.
Hope this helps to understand it's not quick, can get complicated and it's important to have someone who knows you and can help guide and help you to understand what is going on. Wish you well if you ever decide it's the right thing for you.

@ladee , Thank you for explaining that! I've been in therapy for more than ten years but my therapist has coronavirus (he is getting better slowly), so Everything is stopped right now. I am taking the time to start with a new therapist but only on the phone so it's going to be a very long time for anything real. The new person is a trauma specialist who is also willing to explore different types of therapy (like I I'm not very good with lists, which seem to be an important thing for people. My (old) therapist said, no more lists, they just frustrate you! lol I'm not sure if I'm going to unpack everything again, details of trauma, or what, but I know I've been seeing the same person for TOO long and I'm right in the middle of a switch. Thanks again

 

[ladee]

Happy to hear you have switched T's. This sounds like it is going to make a huge difference. Appreciate your courage and grateful you are really taking care of yourself!! Keep us updated when you feel like it.

 

[EmmaOwl]

Happy to hear you have switched T's. This sounds like it is going to make a huge difference. Appreciate your courage and grateful you are really taking care of yourself!! Keep us updated when you feel like it.

Thanks! I"m like holding on best as I can, so I don't get WORSE and maybe easier to pick myself up a little better (in this mythical future time "when things are better"). Thank you so much.! I am so glad to find a comfortable place, I feel like I remember a lot of people here, which helps too, to read around familiar voices and then new ones that are always added That's probably what my inner child needs anyway - familiar things! (I know it's not really the same thing. But I DO feel about 5 years old a lot of the time.)

ETA: Sorry if I repeat myself in multiple posts.

 

[glirho9]

A Life Coach first suggested to me 5 years ago that I do some Inner Child work. I laughed at her and brushed it off. Now I find myself scrolling through the different Inner Child Healing meditations that are available on You Tube. I have found some powerfully healing stuff there and for me it was the perfect solution. I'm going to include a link to my favorite meditation i am using it for 21 days straight.