UrsulaleGuin
New Here
Hello there everyone,
New to this forum. I'm going through a bit of an emotional moment and I thought it would help to get my story out and hear what other PTSD people have to say about it.
Diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and ADHD. Then I've had some very bad experiences the past two years with dates and a serious relationship.
Right now, my new partner of six months just broke up with me this week. I've told him I really don't want to, and he's taking a few days to think things over.
He's a musician and has a kid, so he has little time.
The reason he says he doesn't want to be with me anymore, is because of my PTSD. We found out that, very sadly, he has certain moods that can trigger it: he can be 'hot' and then 'cold' the next moment and that really affects me. When someone withdraws from me in that way, my rational mind takes a permanent vacation.
We've spoken about it, but he's clear that it's just a part of his personality and he doesn't want to and can't change that. The problem is, that it brings my PTSD to the forefront and that messes with everything. When I have an 'episode', it can turn a unicorn into a beast from hell. And so he's left feeling like the enemy, while he's done nothing wrong. In a way, he takes my trust issues very personally. He doesn't understand that they're not. And I get that, because of course his moods are the reason I'm triggered.
It's so f-ing complicated.
There are other issues too, of course. But this is the big one. And I'm wondering if any of you can help me out with some tips? How do you deal with your PTSD in relationships?
I feel like I'm at a loss. Because when I really love someone, I'm actually more likely to get an episode. I feel like I'm losing my future to my past.
Thank you for reading! Writing it down has already helped a little.
New to this forum. I'm going through a bit of an emotional moment and I thought it would help to get my story out and hear what other PTSD people have to say about it.
Diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and ADHD. Then I've had some very bad experiences the past two years with dates and a serious relationship.
Right now, my new partner of six months just broke up with me this week. I've told him I really don't want to, and he's taking a few days to think things over.
He's a musician and has a kid, so he has little time.
The reason he says he doesn't want to be with me anymore, is because of my PTSD. We found out that, very sadly, he has certain moods that can trigger it: he can be 'hot' and then 'cold' the next moment and that really affects me. When someone withdraws from me in that way, my rational mind takes a permanent vacation.
We've spoken about it, but he's clear that it's just a part of his personality and he doesn't want to and can't change that. The problem is, that it brings my PTSD to the forefront and that messes with everything. When I have an 'episode', it can turn a unicorn into a beast from hell. And so he's left feeling like the enemy, while he's done nothing wrong. In a way, he takes my trust issues very personally. He doesn't understand that they're not. And I get that, because of course his moods are the reason I'm triggered.
It's so f-ing complicated.
There are other issues too, of course. But this is the big one. And I'm wondering if any of you can help me out with some tips? How do you deal with your PTSD in relationships?
I feel like I'm at a loss. Because when I really love someone, I'm actually more likely to get an episode. I feel like I'm losing my future to my past.
Thank you for reading! Writing it down has already helped a little.