samanthavad
New Here
I am(was) in a toxic relationship. I lost myself trying to keep him on the right track and out of trouble. He lied and manipulated me into needing him or relying on him. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough so I started being more like him and doing the things he liked, hoping he would like me more. The worst part is it took me over a year to see it and realize it. I wish I could have seen it from the beginning and stopped myself or even saw it when people were trying to point it out to me.
I am facing a felony. I deserve it, I commited the crime but I was so brainwashed and under his control that I never really thought about the consequences. I know that sounds crazy but I didn’t. I never thought about saying no, I never thought about getting caught, I never thought about the consequences and aftermath. I just did what he asked me to do because I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make his life in jail a little easier. I don’t make bad choices like that when im not under the spell of a toxic person. I literally feel like I don’t make my own choices. Like he has mind control over me. I’ve known for MONTHS hes toxic for me but I could never allow myself to actually see it and accept it. I was living in this tiny world where everything worked out in the end, he came home from jail and we had everything we ever talked about having together. I was safe and comfortable there, didn’t want or need anyone else. But that tiny world turned into a deep depression. Anyways now that I know and can clearly see I was in an unhealthy relationship, I am disgusted in who I became and the choices I “made”. I haven’t even been sentenced yet and I already learned my lesson. I broke up with him, moved away. So I guess I am writing this to see if anyone has ever gotten into trouble with and or for their toxic partner. I want to use my domestic violence background to help me.. at least get out of a felony.
I was in a physically abusive relationship for years. When i left him, he kidnapped me, held me hostage for 10 hours and then killed himself. He died on my lap. That was 6 years ago.
I am facing a felony. I deserve it, I commited the crime but I was so brainwashed and under his control that I never really thought about the consequences. I know that sounds crazy but I didn’t. I never thought about saying no, I never thought about getting caught, I never thought about the consequences and aftermath. I just did what he asked me to do because I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make his life in jail a little easier. I don’t make bad choices like that when im not under the spell of a toxic person. I literally feel like I don’t make my own choices. Like he has mind control over me. I’ve known for MONTHS hes toxic for me but I could never allow myself to actually see it and accept it. I was living in this tiny world where everything worked out in the end, he came home from jail and we had everything we ever talked about having together. I was safe and comfortable there, didn’t want or need anyone else. But that tiny world turned into a deep depression. Anyways now that I know and can clearly see I was in an unhealthy relationship, I am disgusted in who I became and the choices I “made”. I haven’t even been sentenced yet and I already learned my lesson. I broke up with him, moved away. So I guess I am writing this to see if anyone has ever gotten into trouble with and or for their toxic partner. I want to use my domestic violence background to help me.. at least get out of a felony.
I was in a physically abusive relationship for years. When i left him, he kidnapped me, held me hostage for 10 hours and then killed himself. He died on my lap. That was 6 years ago.
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