How do I talk to my therapist/ doctor about the events of my SA

[Cmz]

Hi- I’m trying to figure out How to go about “wording” what happened during my SA to my psychiatrist who I really trust and has been the most helpful through all of this but don’t want to make it awkward for him... I’m going to send him an email with what happened(I can’t seem to get the words out face to face even though I want to) but how should I word the different sexual things that happened so it’s “professional” and not inappropriate if that makes sense... so like for example...he fingered me without my consent and then made me give him a handjob and oral sex and ejaculated in my mouth... but is that bad to say? Is there a better way to word these things? I’m a pretty conservative person in general so this is all out of my comfort zone

 

[internal]

therapists are accustomed to hearing this kind of thing however you'd like to phrase it. some people are more or less graphic depending on their context. for me i tend to be more because i internalized it that way. and that's fine. they've heard it all before so you aren't going to gross him out or shock him.

what matters is what you are comfortable with (or capable of). what you've written here is fine. there are more clinical ways to say it (digital penetration, etc) if you prefer that. but again your therapist isn't going to care. what matters is getting it out and he will just be glad you are able to do so.

i have used way more descriptive language depending on how i feel and what my mood is and whatever is happening in the moment and it's basically like weather talk over there. but this does assume a level of trauma familiarity which i don't know that your therapist has.

if you guys have already discussed this and he has assured you it's fine, then it is.

 

[Cmz]

therapists are accustomed to hearing this kind of thing however you'd like to phrase it. some people are more or less graphic depending on their context. for me i tend to be more because i internalized it that way. and that's fine. they've heard it all before so you aren't going to gross him out or shock him.

what matters is what you are comfortable with (or capable of). what you've written here is fine. there are more clinical ways to say it (digital penetration, etc) if you prefer that. but again your therapist isn't going to care. what matters is getting it out and he will just be glad you are able to do so.

i have used way more descriptive language depending on how i feel and what my mood is and whatever is happening in the moment and it's basically like weather talk over there. but this does assume a level of trauma familiarity which i don't know that your therapist has.

if you guys have already discussed this and he has assured you it's fine, then it is.

thank you so much. I just started seeing a trauma therapist but my psychiatrist(who I have seen before the trauma happened) has been surprisingly helpful with the little bit I have told him and has told me I can tell him as little or as much as I feel comfortable... I just wasn’t sure exactly how to go about it

 

[internal]

I just wasn’t sure exactly how to go about it

the most important thing is that you get it out of you. no matter what that looks like. a good therapist isn't going to judge you for the language you use. they understand many people find it very distressing. and uncomfortable. to talk about "private things."

 

[Cmz]

Yes that’s true, thank you!

 

[Movingforward10]

Whatever words you use, it will be ok for the psychiatrist to hear. Use words you are comfortable with. Don't worry about the other person.

Writing it down is a good idea if the words don't come. Some words are just hard to say. Some words feel liberating to say.

Do what works for you.
Good luck with it.

 

[Cmz]

Whatever words you use, it will be ok for the psychiatrist to hear. Use words you are comfortable with. Don't worry about the other person.

Writing it down is a good idea if the words don't come. Some words are just hard to say. Some words feel liberating to say.

Do what works for you.
Good luck with it.

Thank you!

 

[8888]

Use whatever words would be most beneficial to you. Mental health professionals know how to handle their own feelings and they hear all kinds of things so they are used to it. Remember it's your time so it's about what is best for you.

 

[Cmz]

Use whatever words would be most beneficial to you. Mental health professionals know how to handle their own feelings and they hear all kinds of things so they are used to it. Remember it's your time so it's about what is best for you.

Yeah that’s true I guess it’s also partly me feeling alone in this whole thing but I’m sure Like you said he hears it all... I just don’t want him to be offended or something because I really value him as a doctor

 

[8888]

Yeah that’s true I guess it’s also partly me feeling alone in this whole thing but I’m sure Like you said he hears it all... I just don’t want him to be offended or something because I really value him as a doctor

You are not alone! If you value him as a doctor I think it's likely he values you as a patient as well and will respond accordingly.

 

[Cmz]

You are not alone! If you value him as a doctor I think it's likely he values you as a patient as well and will respond accordingly.

Thank you!

 

[whiteraven]

You've gotten all kinds of good responses, and this will be a repeat, but I think it's important to say.

don’t want to make it awkward for him

This is not something you even need to worry about. He is there to hear what you have to say, how you need to say it.

how should I word the different sexual things that happened so it’s “professional” and not inappropriate

It's not your job to be "appropriate" or to try to soften your words. Speak them as they come to you. He will understand and likely appreciate that you are being honest and open.