BentNotBroken
Learning
I've been living on property shared between my mom, another relative and myself. As I've been discovering myself in recent months, I've stopped talking to her for the most part. Yesterday she broke a window accidentally and it automatically became my job to fix it. I was going to take care of it how I see fit since I'm the one doing it but, this morning she starts telling me what I should do about it. That quickly devolved into me telling her I don't give a shit. Once that was out she started with emotional tactics; oh I'm so hurt, why are you doing that.... All things I've heard before whenever I've asserted myself, so I just said blah blah blah. Again the situation devolved. Her tone instantly changes and now she just wants to directly hurt me "You're a selfish asshole just like X!". I ignored her and went on about getting some breakfast together. 15 minutes later I'm sitting in my room with the door ajar when she walks in trying to talk again and I just tell her to get out. She ignores me so I say it again louder and she ignores me again. Now I'm full on screaming "Get the F*** out of my room!" I stand up, walk towards the door and she finally backs up and out and I slam the door. She spends a few minutes trying to talk trash through the door and then goes away for a few minutes. She comes back and says something like "Don't scream and make me feel unsafe or I'll call the cops".
That is a play she borrowed from my grandmother. My grandmother would scream at my grandfather and physically abuse him and if he showed any resistance she would call the sheriffs and have him arrested for domestic abuse, even though she was the abuser. She threw pots and pans at him, trays of silverware, luggage, one time she even broke her cane over his back and he was still the one that got arrested. Now my mom is trying to play the victim because I won't tolerate what she's doing. She tried to say I had wasted my life. I told her I had, I had wasted it trying to help her so much over the years. Then she tried to talk shit about the state of my sister and I's lives and I immediately told her we were just products of her parenting.
She's quit, at least for now, but now I'm wondering how far she's going to take this.
That is a play she borrowed from my grandmother. My grandmother would scream at my grandfather and physically abuse him and if he showed any resistance she would call the sheriffs and have him arrested for domestic abuse, even though she was the abuser. She threw pots and pans at him, trays of silverware, luggage, one time she even broke her cane over his back and he was still the one that got arrested. Now my mom is trying to play the victim because I won't tolerate what she's doing. She tried to say I had wasted my life. I told her I had, I had wasted it trying to help her so much over the years. Then she tried to talk shit about the state of my sister and I's lives and I immediately told her we were just products of her parenting.
She's quit, at least for now, but now I'm wondering how far she's going to take this.