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Paranoia of relationship

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littlestars

Confident
My boyfriend would never hurt me intentionally, I know this, yet I get fear of him hurting me because nearly all men in my life have hurt me badly. (Often in traumatic ways.) I freak out every time his phone gets a notification. I get worried when he’s on his phone and/or has it in the bathroom. The phone is a big trigger for me. It’s how ex’s cheated on me and abused drugs behind my back. I’ve been with my boyfriend for one and a half years. He has given me every reason to believe/trust him. It’s really difficult for me though. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t know how to enjoy myself a lot of times.
 
I'm also having biggggg trust issues with my bf. Lately i've been quite calm about everything, less stressing about things on his phone and im not checking his phone anymore. Also we deleted social media which was a huuuuge relief.
My boyfriend didnt break my trust either, but he's also the first man in my life who's not hurting me mentally or sexually abusing me. This surprises me a lot and I think that's why I'm always ready for something bad to happen, and when it does it will be like 'told you so'.
I'm 2 years together with my boyfriend, still learning how to trust him, but you'll get there:) If you want to know more just ask me:)
 
I can relate even if I don't have had another boyfriend since the last relationship. I hate phones and get super paranoid with any vibrating sound that comes after 9pm. While he didn't use his phone or cheated, he did try to commit suicide often and I would receive charming messages notifying this to me in the middle of the night or in the evenings. He also broke into my personal files several times to look my messages and diaries.

As a result anything of the sort is highly suspect. I have placed 2-factors authentication sign-in anywhere I could and my own computer is so feathered with passwords that it became difficult to navigate for myself. I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it in the future. People reading over my shoulder or simply being next to my devices is something that I already did dislike, now it's just ultra triggering. And no matter who it is. A few days ago I panicked and started to yell at a friend because they tried to take a picture of me.
 
I'm also having biggggg trust issues with my bf. Lately i've been quite calm about everything, less stressing about things on his phone and im not checking his phone anymore. Also we deleted social media which was a huuuuge relief.
My boyfriend didnt break my trust either, but he's also the first man in my life who's not hurting me mentally or sexually abusing me. This surprises me a lot and I think that's why I'm always ready for something bad to happen, and when it does it will be like 'told you so'.
I'm 2 years together with my boyfriend, still learning how to trust him, but you'll get there:) If you want to know more just ask me:)
I have been there too. Thank you for your encouraging words. It gives me hope.
 
I suffered heinous betrayal and emotional abuse/abandonment by my mother when I was growing up as well as sexual assault and chronic molestation and grooming. Completed cognitive processing therapy but still have a hard time with trust.

I finally found an honest guy that shows through his actions that he is trustworthy. It's easier for me to trust him with in person interactions with people but the phone, oh my gawd, I hate his phone. To my ptsd brain he can be this awesome trusting guy in the kitchen and then magically changes to a deceitful pos when he moves to the couch to scroll through Facebook. I feel like I can trust him when he interacts with people on the streets but I can't trust him when he interacts with people on his phone. Which is weird. But I'm glad I wrote that down because now I'm beginning to formulate a response for when I'm triggered into suspicion when he sits down to scroll through his phone.
 
To my ptsd brain he can be this awesome trusting guy in the kitchen and then magically changes to a deceitful pos
Been here before. So glad you shared. I agree its good to be aware of how we are affecting the relationship. I think it's so wonderful how much you guys care about your loved ones. And want to be healthier. Keep it up! Please ignore me if not found helpful :)
 
Been here before. So glad you shared. I agree its good to be aware of how we are affecting the relationship. I think it's so wonderful how much you guys care about your loved ones. And want to be healthier. Keep it up! Please ignore me if not found helpful :)
Thank you 😊 your encouraging words are very helpful!
 
@Rorster93

I'm glad...I know the feelings. I'm dealing with it in different ways but the same principles apply.


What's helping me is asking myself:

What evidence do I have right now that says "insert fear or suspicion"
Is true?

It can be so hard to let go of what I'm pretty sure I know. But ptsd lies!
 
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