QuirkyTofurkey
Confident
Hi everyone,
I'm new here, and am diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse. I'm starting EDMR treatment now, and my therapist says it'll be a really tough period, with lots of re-triggered memories etc. He advised me to find a community or online forum as a sort of additional support/resource during this time.
Personally I'd love to find a safe space online, where I don't have to feel like I'm going through this alone. I feel a lot of confusion because I don't trust my memories, and there's a lot of shame and self-blame (as well as anger towards my parents who should have protected me). I'm not sure if my PTSD coping mechanisms and avoidance caused this, but something just...got to be too much maybe(?) and my physical body kind of ... crumpled recently. I got very physically ill (extreme fatigue, headaches, nausea, dizziness - even chest pains), and some of my doctors think it's directly related to my PTSD.
I'm apprehensive about feeling so physically weak going into EMDR. And I'm also afraid of actually having to stop or let go of my long-term coping mechanisms that managed to get me this far in life (early 30's). One particular coping strategy has been to shut down my emotional feelings and process or communicate things in an almost mechanically rational way. Logical reasoning has been my security blanket, but I know that will be challenged again and again during EMDR. And I don't like that.
So - yeah, I'm hoping I can start to be less "rational" and more emotionally available in this community. And I'm hoping that I can share my experiences with others who "get it".
I'm new here, and am diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse. I'm starting EDMR treatment now, and my therapist says it'll be a really tough period, with lots of re-triggered memories etc. He advised me to find a community or online forum as a sort of additional support/resource during this time.
Personally I'd love to find a safe space online, where I don't have to feel like I'm going through this alone. I feel a lot of confusion because I don't trust my memories, and there's a lot of shame and self-blame (as well as anger towards my parents who should have protected me). I'm not sure if my PTSD coping mechanisms and avoidance caused this, but something just...got to be too much maybe(?) and my physical body kind of ... crumpled recently. I got very physically ill (extreme fatigue, headaches, nausea, dizziness - even chest pains), and some of my doctors think it's directly related to my PTSD.
I'm apprehensive about feeling so physically weak going into EMDR. And I'm also afraid of actually having to stop or let go of my long-term coping mechanisms that managed to get me this far in life (early 30's). One particular coping strategy has been to shut down my emotional feelings and process or communicate things in an almost mechanically rational way. Logical reasoning has been my security blanket, but I know that will be challenged again and again during EMDR. And I don't like that.
So - yeah, I'm hoping I can start to be less "rational" and more emotionally available in this community. And I'm hoping that I can share my experiences with others who "get it".