- Post starter
- #13
Recovery form alcoholism and PTSD can very well be similar in nature.
Let me start by saying this is only my opinion! I am also very long winded with words, much like my sufferer and as she says, sorry in advance : )
Look at the life of an alcoholic. He cannot control what he is doing. He has no control of the thoughts he has that drive his behavior. Otherwise he wouldn’t drink! I see this as well in someone I love who is suffering with PTSD. You don’t want to think that way and exhibit a behavior that is self destructive, but both have lost control of life and it is why we need to recover. So we can be normal again, we need to learn to think better, healthier so that our destructive behavior stops!
There is a day in each sufferer’s life when they realize they have a problem. It may be the day you are diagnosed with PTSD or the day an alcoholic collects his 3rd DWI… you are at a turning point of sorts. Both may continue to go on with life and do nothing about it for days, months, or years. Neither wants to but the ability to change is still beyond their control. Otherwise we would snap our fingers and be cured!
In the process we hurt a lot of people. Especially the ones who are closest to us! We drive away people who want to help, our behavior and thoughts controls us and people wear out, they don’t want to be pulled down by it and save themselves. We don’t see this at first, and most often it is too late when we do, the damage was done. Self pity will manifest itself – I didn’t set out to drink uncontrollably and you did not ask to be traumatized!
Both were out of our control because we were susceptible to it! So a day comes and we say ‘I need to change for myself, family, or anyone for that matter’. We can’t do it ourselves most times. We use therapists, drugs, and support groups.
Success is not guaranteed and relapses are all too common for both. We both will be that way for life. We went or are going down the same road, hurt the same people, and neither of us want to be that way!
Triggers are everywhere and we need to learn how to deal with them. I went for years walking through the grocery store and having a reaction when I passed the Beer aisle. Maybe the reactions for one won’t be the same but there are many drunks who will tell you that they start to shake, sweat uncontrollably, feel like they are going to pass out, stop ‘seeing’, and it is often overwhelming. Tons of anxiety! I avoided places that I used to drink, would drive a mile out of my way not to pass by them. A person with PTSD will do many of these things as well.
So with that I look at the AA 12 steps program. I will say I did not recover using this method but millions of us drunks have. I used the ‘rational recover’ process and the help of a therapist. I am agnostic therefore I do not like the heavy use of God in their program. But I do see my sufferer needing to work through a process similar in nature to each of these steps on her way to controlling her PTSD.
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous:
1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. (a PTSD sufferer must also say this to themselves. They cannot change what happened to them, not by blocking it out or rationalizing it. Acceptance)
2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (for those of religious faith I suppose, maybe that power is a therapist or medication, maybe even the love of a carer?)
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (to me this says I admit to myself that I need help and am now open to getting the help! An God can be whatever you find helps you get to your goal)
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (my sufferer does this without realizing it, she tells me she now understands that she didn’t do this to herself now, that she is not worthless and see’s thing clearer if that makes sense)
5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (We admit our mistakes, we make appologies - I’m sorry I treated you that way, you didn’t do this to me but I absolutly took it out on you. We must own our behavior)
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (open to change and ready to walk through the metaphorical door to recovery. Willingness)
7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (Again more of the same and I hate the use of God in these steps, I really do because it tends to make you feel someone else will fix you)
8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (Our behaviours hurt people and making these amends will lift guilt off your shoulds hopefully. We have to accept that we did those things to others, doesn’t matter why we did it)
9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (Again, more of the same. We have to accept that we should try and fix what damage we caused. I myself am depressed these days and it is affecting others in my family. My sufferer pointed this out to me tonight, I am hurting my daughter because I am tired and lost in the turmoil of my reationship with my sufferer. I’m at my wits end and have lost the will give love to my daughter, especially in the presence of my sufferer for some reason. One day my sufferer will need to acknowledge her roll in this and if she can fix it, she will feel the uplifting benefit it will have on her emotional health and progress her recovery)
10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (very important to both processes!)
11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. (Again with the God thing… he works for those with faith thought, can’t argue it)
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (I’d say a very good example of this is PTSD forum)
Well hope I didn’t ramble too much. I try to think of my sufferer now with this in mind. It has helped me forgive and wipe the slate clean better than in the past. My anger at her is so much shorter lived when I think through this procees and where she is at now. I say to myself ‘ I remember being this way too’. It is very familiar to me and maybe another drunk out there in our unique situation can share more on this .
Again, if my sufferer is still animate about me deleting my account i will… I’d rather loose my voice here than cause more tension at home.
Let me start by saying this is only my opinion! I am also very long winded with words, much like my sufferer and as she says, sorry in advance : )
Look at the life of an alcoholic. He cannot control what he is doing. He has no control of the thoughts he has that drive his behavior. Otherwise he wouldn’t drink! I see this as well in someone I love who is suffering with PTSD. You don’t want to think that way and exhibit a behavior that is self destructive, but both have lost control of life and it is why we need to recover. So we can be normal again, we need to learn to think better, healthier so that our destructive behavior stops!
There is a day in each sufferer’s life when they realize they have a problem. It may be the day you are diagnosed with PTSD or the day an alcoholic collects his 3rd DWI… you are at a turning point of sorts. Both may continue to go on with life and do nothing about it for days, months, or years. Neither wants to but the ability to change is still beyond their control. Otherwise we would snap our fingers and be cured!
In the process we hurt a lot of people. Especially the ones who are closest to us! We drive away people who want to help, our behavior and thoughts controls us and people wear out, they don’t want to be pulled down by it and save themselves. We don’t see this at first, and most often it is too late when we do, the damage was done. Self pity will manifest itself – I didn’t set out to drink uncontrollably and you did not ask to be traumatized!
Both were out of our control because we were susceptible to it! So a day comes and we say ‘I need to change for myself, family, or anyone for that matter’. We can’t do it ourselves most times. We use therapists, drugs, and support groups.
Success is not guaranteed and relapses are all too common for both. We both will be that way for life. We went or are going down the same road, hurt the same people, and neither of us want to be that way!
Triggers are everywhere and we need to learn how to deal with them. I went for years walking through the grocery store and having a reaction when I passed the Beer aisle. Maybe the reactions for one won’t be the same but there are many drunks who will tell you that they start to shake, sweat uncontrollably, feel like they are going to pass out, stop ‘seeing’, and it is often overwhelming. Tons of anxiety! I avoided places that I used to drink, would drive a mile out of my way not to pass by them. A person with PTSD will do many of these things as well.
So with that I look at the AA 12 steps program. I will say I did not recover using this method but millions of us drunks have. I used the ‘rational recover’ process and the help of a therapist. I am agnostic therefore I do not like the heavy use of God in their program. But I do see my sufferer needing to work through a process similar in nature to each of these steps on her way to controlling her PTSD.
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous:
1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. (a PTSD sufferer must also say this to themselves. They cannot change what happened to them, not by blocking it out or rationalizing it. Acceptance)
2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (for those of religious faith I suppose, maybe that power is a therapist or medication, maybe even the love of a carer?)
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (to me this says I admit to myself that I need help and am now open to getting the help! An God can be whatever you find helps you get to your goal)
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (my sufferer does this without realizing it, she tells me she now understands that she didn’t do this to herself now, that she is not worthless and see’s thing clearer if that makes sense)
5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (We admit our mistakes, we make appologies - I’m sorry I treated you that way, you didn’t do this to me but I absolutly took it out on you. We must own our behavior)
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (open to change and ready to walk through the metaphorical door to recovery. Willingness)
7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (Again more of the same and I hate the use of God in these steps, I really do because it tends to make you feel someone else will fix you)
8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (Our behaviours hurt people and making these amends will lift guilt off your shoulds hopefully. We have to accept that we did those things to others, doesn’t matter why we did it)
9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (Again, more of the same. We have to accept that we should try and fix what damage we caused. I myself am depressed these days and it is affecting others in my family. My sufferer pointed this out to me tonight, I am hurting my daughter because I am tired and lost in the turmoil of my reationship with my sufferer. I’m at my wits end and have lost the will give love to my daughter, especially in the presence of my sufferer for some reason. One day my sufferer will need to acknowledge her roll in this and if she can fix it, she will feel the uplifting benefit it will have on her emotional health and progress her recovery)
10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (very important to both processes!)
11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. (Again with the God thing… he works for those with faith thought, can’t argue it)
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (I’d say a very good example of this is PTSD forum)
Well hope I didn’t ramble too much. I try to think of my sufferer now with this in mind. It has helped me forgive and wipe the slate clean better than in the past. My anger at her is so much shorter lived when I think through this procees and where she is at now. I say to myself ‘ I remember being this way too’. It is very familiar to me and maybe another drunk out there in our unique situation can share more on this .
Again, if my sufferer is still animate about me deleting my account i will… I’d rather loose my voice here than cause more tension at home.
