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Relationship Ghosted and confused

djam

New Here
I started dating a wonderful man 2 yrs.ago. He is a veteran and told me he had PTSD and was medicated and the past 2 yrs have been great. 4 months ago he told me he stopped taking his meds because he was done with pharmaceuticals. He also has a couple of injuries. Communication between us was amazing and our connection was uncanny.
When I last saw him ( we live 3 hrs apart) i knew he was "off"..scattered all over the place. Said he didnt want me to move in and he needed time apart. I had not moved in just had clothes that I kept at his place for when I visited.
I took my belongings and explained to him that since he needed a "few weeks" alone that it was a good time for me to go through my stuff and weed out. He went with a friend out of town to help out. I saw him 4 days later and could tell he seemed to be himself and told me he went back on his meds. We had 3 great days together. He went back to his home and 2 days later told me that he was having a hard time because I took my personal belongings and it was a trigger. He said he was "jumpy" and frustrated with everything and didnt want me to come to see him and that he again needed time to figure things out. That was August and the last time we spoke. He texted 3 weeks later and ended our relationship..no reason..just didnt want to be in relationship.
Its been 4 months of his ghosting me

I have been so confused and mourning this relationship. I have reached out several times and met with silence. I joined this forum to gleen insight. I realize I set off a trigger in him. He definitely is a protector. He is such a kind and compassionate man and I truly am at a loss. I thought we had a future. We never argued but were always able to talk through issues.
I am thankful for this forum and am educating myself because I deeply love this man but dont feel I can trust my heart with him as this ghosting has been pure hell.
Thanks for " listening:
 
I’m sorry you had to go through this. Besides the broken heart, it is very confusing.

I realize I set off a trigger in him

You didn’t trigger him. He was triggered. Don’t take on any responsibility for that.

I deeply love this man but dont feel I can trust my heart with him as this ghosting has been pure hell.

It’s awesome you were able to make that peace with yourself. It takes people years to get to that point, if they ever do!
 
I’m sorry you had to go through this. Besides the broken heart, it is very confusing.



You didn’t trigger him. He was triggered. Don’t take on any responsibility for that.



It’s awesome you were able to make that peace with yourself. It takes people years to get to that point, if they ever do!
It's a daily battle trust me. I love and miss him so much
 
I started dating a wonderful man 2 yrs.ago. He is a veteran and told me he had PTSD and was medicated and the past 2 yrs have been great. 4 months ago he told me he stopped taking his meds because he was done with pharmaceuticals. He also has a couple of injuries. Communication between us was amazing and our connection was uncanny.
When I last saw him ( we live 3 hrs apart) i knew he was "off"..scattered all over the place. Said he didnt want me to move in and he needed time apart. I had not moved in just had clothes that I kept at his place for when I visited.
I took my belongings and explained to him that since he needed a "few weeks" alone that it was a good time for me to go through my stuff and weed out. He went with a friend out of town to help out. I saw him 4 days later and could tell he seemed to be himself and told me he went back on his meds. We had 3 great days together. He went back to his home and 2 days later told me that he was having a hard time because I took my personal belongings and it was a trigger. He said he was "jumpy" and frustrated with everything and didnt want me to come to see him and that he again needed time to figure things out. That was August and the last time we spoke. He texted 3 weeks later and ended our relationship..no reason..just didnt want to be in relationship.
Its been 4 months of his ghosting me

I have been so confused and mourning this relationship. I have reached out several times and met with silence. I joined this forum to gleen insight. I realize I set off a trigger in him. He definitely is a protector. He is such a kind and compassionate man and I truly am at a loss. I thought we had a future. We never argued but were always able to talk through issues.
I am thankful for this forum and am educating myself because I deeply love this man but dont feel I can trust my heart with him as this ghosting has been pure hell.
Thanks for " listening:
I’ve been there love. The exact same thing happened to me. I wish I knew the answers, but I don’t. I guess we just learn to cope with it and try to understand them as best we can.
Mine ghosted me for 34 days, and although that doesn’t seem like long, it felt like months.
There was no reason for him to go mia, other than him switching meds, I noticed a change before he ever left. I saw it coming but it still sucked, it’s something you can’t really prepare for no matter how much you think so.
Fast forward through those 34 days, he reached out and we’re back together. I’m not sure how I feel about it, considering I’m scared he will wake up one day and not want this anymore. It’s terrifying. But I guess I love him enough to take the chance. Everything has seemed to be going really really good and I pray it stays that way.
I’m not sure what our future holds, but I’m taking it one day at a time, as I’m sure he is as well. That’s all we can do.
Just love them, even if that means having to do it from a distance sometimes.
It’s a relief to hear that other people go through the same hardships, so remember that you’re not alone and I’m so glad you joined in here 🖤
 
I’ve been there love. The exact same thing happened to me. I wish I knew the answers, but I don’t. I guess we just learn to cope with it and try to understand them as best we can.
Mine ghosted me for 34 days, and although that doesn’t seem like long, it felt like months.
There was no reason for him to go mia, other than him switching meds, I noticed a change before he ever left. I saw it coming but it still sucked, it’s something you can’t really prepare for no matter how much you think so.
Fast forward through those 34 days, he reached out and we’re back together. I’m not sure how I feel about it, considering I’m scared he will wake up one day and not want this anymore. It’s terrifying. But I guess I love him enough to take the chance. Everything has seemed to be going really really good and I pray it stays that way.
I’m not sure what our future holds, but I’m taking it one day at a time, as I’m sure he is as well. That’s all we can do.
Just love them, even if that means having to do it from a distance sometimes.
It’s a relief to hear that other people go through the same hardships, so remember that you’re not alone and I’m so glad you joined in here 🖤
Thank you! Its been 5 months and pure silence from him. All I can do is pray for him. I am trying to move forward one day at a time. This site has been helpful and the support is wonderful. I wish you all the best
 
I started dating a wonderful man 2 yrs.ago. He is a veteran and told me he had PTSD and was medicated and the past 2 yrs have been great. 4 months ago he told me he stopped taking his meds because he was done with pharmaceuticals. He also has a couple of injuries. Communication between us was amazing and our connection was uncanny.
When I last saw him ( we live 3 hrs apart) i knew he was "off"..scattered all over the place. Said he didnt want me to move in and he needed time apart. I had not moved in just had clothes that I kept at his place for when I visited.
I took my belongings and explained to him that since he needed a "few weeks" alone that it was a good time for me to go through my stuff and weed out. He went with a friend out of town to help out. I saw him 4 days later and could tell he seemed to be himself and told me he went back on his meds. We had 3 great days together. He went back to his home and 2 days later told me that he was having a hard time because I took my personal belongings and it was a trigger. He said he was "jumpy" and frustrated with everything and didnt want me to come to see him and that he again needed time to figure things out. That was August and the last time we spoke. He texted 3 weeks later and ended our relationship..no reason..just didnt want to be in relationship.
Its been 4 months of his ghosting me

I have been so confused and mourning this relationship. I have reached out several times and met with silence. I joined this forum to gleen insight. I realize I set off a trigger in him. He definitely is a protector. He is such a kind and compassionate man and I truly am at a loss. I thought we had a future. We never argued but were always able to talk through issues.
I am thankful for this forum and am educating myself because I deeply love this man but dont feel I can trust my heart with him as this ghosting has been pure hell.
Thanks for " listening:
I completely understand what you are going through, I had/having a similar experience. My neighbour and I were friends for 3 years before he fessed up that he loved me, I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Then he came off his medication for ptsd. Then came the angry retorts and outbursts, then the coldness - dont put your arms round me...why....I don't like confrontation. A complete 180 because he came off medication - saying he wanted to be 'normal' again - but this person is cold, impersonal, unloving, distant - and it breaks my heart as I thought we had a future. Now I hardly hear a word from him, not even a reply to my.. I love you...texts or a half sentence maybe if I send him a what I did today text. If I gently suggest he sees his doctor then its silence. I haven't seen him for three weeks - he moved away due to unforeseen circumstances - said he is trying to sort his head out and needs some space - but what damage is this isolation doing to our relationship? Could it change his mind about me permanently? I sympathise and understanding how hurt you are feeling, I feel exactly the same, grieving for something as elusive as the wind.
 
I completely understand what you are going through, I had/having a similar experience. My neighbour and I were friends for 3 years before he fessed up that he loved me, I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Then he came off his medication for ptsd. Then came the angry retorts and outbursts, then the coldness - dont put your arms round me...why....I don't like confrontation. A complete 180 because he came off medication - saying he wanted to be 'normal' again - but this person is cold, impersonal, unloving, distant - and it breaks my heart as I thought we had a future. Now I hardly hear a word from him, not even a reply to my.. I love you...texts or a half sentence maybe if I send him a what I did today text. If I gently suggest he sees his doctor then its silence. I haven't seen him for three weeks - he moved away due to unforeseen circumstances - said he is trying to sort his head out and needs some space - but what damage is this isolation doing to our relationship? Could it change his mind about me permanently? I sympathise and understanding how hurt you are feeling, I feel exactly the same, grieving for something as elusive as the wind.
I am so sorry to read this. I feel your pain and loss. Its been 6 months now of silence and all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and slowly move on with my life. I hope you are doing the same. Unfortunately, I feel like I will never see the man I truly love again. Thank you for your words of encouragement. ❤️
 
I am so sorry to read this. I feel your pain and loss. Its been 6 months now of silence and all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and slowly move on with my life. I hope you are doing the same. Unfortunately, I feel like I will never see the man I truly love again. Thank you for your words of encouragement. ❤️
I cannot even begin to think of 6 MONTHS of heartache, the past three weeks has been heartwrenchlngly sad as I deconstruct the future I thought we had. I know the only remedy for recovery is to go out more, keep busy and stop waiting for him to get in touch to say he is now okay and wants desperately for us to reunite. I constantly listen to Sade's song of loyalty and support for your man 'By Your Side' over and over again, now Sade's 'King of Pain' had taken its place. I wish you peace and hold your head high - life is too short to punish ourselves.
 
I started dating a wonderful man 2 yrs.ago. He is a veteran and told me he had PTSD and was medicated and the past 2 yrs have been great. 4 months ago he told me he stopped taking his meds because he was done with pharmaceuticals. He also has a couple of injuries. Communication between us was amazing and our connection was uncanny.
When I last saw him ( we live 3 hrs apart) i knew he was "off"..scattered all over the place. Said he didnt want me to move in and he needed time apart. I had not moved in just had clothes that I kept at his place for when I visited.
I took my belongings and explained to him that since he needed a "few weeks" alone that it was a good time for me to go through my stuff and weed out. He went with a friend out of town to help out. I saw him 4 days later and could tell he seemed to be himself and told me he went back on his meds. We had 3 great days together. He went back to his home and 2 days later told me that he was having a hard time because I took my personal belongings and it was a trigger. He said he was "jumpy" and frustrated with everything and didnt want me to come to see him and that he again needed time to figure things out. That was August and the last time we spoke. He texted 3 weeks later and ended our relationship..no reason..just didnt want to be in relationship.
Its been 4 months of his ghosting me

I have been so confused and mourning this relationship. I have reached out several times and met with silence. I joined this forum to gleen insight. I realize I set off a trigger in him. He definitely is a protector. He is such a kind and compassionate man and I truly am at a loss. I thought we had a future. We never argued but were always able to talk through issues.
I am thankful for this forum and am educating myself because I deeply love this man but dont feel I can trust my heart with him as this ghosting has been pure hell.
Thanks for " listening:
Wow. I just found this forum because I was looking for support for a story exactly like yours. He was wonderful. The best boyfriend. And I miss him. But that attacking rage was shocking. And even if he didn't ghost me, I'm not sure I could sustain a relationship with someone whose dark side is so threatening.

When I went to his house to collect my stuff after he suddenly ended the relationship, I told him he was flailing. He lost control and told me to get the f*ck out of his house. He didn't touch me, but he threw me out of his house. It was the most heartbreaking way to see someone you deeply love for the last time. Bye bye Boo. I wish you were more comfortable in your head.
 
Wow. I just found this forum because I was looking for support for a story exactly like yours. He was wonderful. The best boyfriend. And I miss him. But that attacking rage was shocking. And even if he didn't ghost me, I'm not sure I could sustain a relationship with someone whose dark side is so threatening.

When I went to his house to collect my stuff after he suddenly ended the relationship, I told him he was flailing. He lost control and told me to get the f*ck out of his house. He didn't touch me, but he threw me out of his house. It was the most heartbreaking way to see someone you deeply love for the last time. Bye bye Boo. I wish you were more comfortable in your head.
So sorry you had to go through the anger bit, I saw that too, just came out of the blue the anger and hurtful comments; I looked him straight in the face after he commented negatively on my age - his expression did not change, it was blank and expressionless, like he was completely unaware of how hurtful his comments were; and more followed, until I got used to hearing them and tried to ignore them but then the distancing came - only three weeks before he was all loved up and full of compliments.- on three occasions he has cupped my face in his hands and told me, please, if I go quiet its not because I dont love you, I just need time on my own to sort out my head. Now the 180 turnabout has let me see another side of him. Much as I love and grieve for the loss of the man I used to know, I cannot see a way that insults, cold hearted comments, ghosting can ever make me want to stay and keep my mouth shut. I know there are other men out there that I would feel safer and happier to be around.
 
Same story for me we dated for 4 years, I know he has ptsd because of his night terrors which I always handled with love and kindness, I thought we had a future he even brought it up, we had a happy vacation together and after a month he just went silent on me from one day to another, I am going crazy with pain and sadness but I know he is very scared of commitment and something went off in his head, trying to stand up on my feet and heal LOVE to EVERYONE reading this
 
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