DDNOS Simply confused about OSDD

[SophieBernstein]

I've been going through this for years where I spend months and months where everything becomes increasingly blurry, distant, and I feel like my head is in a fog, among other things. I also have many physical symptoms, daily memory loss, and I can hear voices in my head, especially from a girl, and sometimes, if she causes more trouble another one appear. The thing is, reading about it, I have almost all the symptoms of OSDD-1B, enough to justify the diagnosis, but not all the time; it happens for months, not the whole year. In other words, I can go on like this for six months, getting worse each time, and gradually, according to my psychologist, I integrate and don't have them so prominently, although they come back after a while. I know they've been there since at least age 15, but not all the time... What is this? Also, it's not something stable, so it's complicated for me to discuss it with psychiatrists because I feel like they'll think I'm lying. I already have several diagnoses, but none of them fully explain this

 

[Sideways]

Also, it's not something stable, so it's complicated for me to discuss it with psychiatrists because I feel like they'll think I'm lying.

It can be extremely hard to be vulnerable with strangers.

But, the only informed, educated, experienced and qualified opinion you can get on this? Is going to have to come from a professional.

Maybe it’s worth the risk? Even though you worry like they might think…, that doesn’t mean they will. It just means you’re worried about it. We can do some incredibly helpful things for our recovery even though we’re worried about doing them.

 

[SophieBernstein]

Maybe it’s worth the risk? Even though you worry like they might think…, that doesn’t mean they will. It just means you’re worried about it. We can do some incredibly helpful things for our recovery even though we’re worried about doing them.

I told my new psychiatrist about the memory loss, and a little about that girl. Not very much because I'm really scared of what I said before... and them he just saw some things that don't make sense on my medical reports (I have like 5, 6 or 7 diagnosis, I don't remember all of them but I think they misunderstood some of them because ptsd cause depresion and anxiety and there is no need to add them separately) and he thought I could have too ADHD so I'm now doing tests to see. Aparently, I have an attention deficit but the hiperactivity is not very clear.

The thing is that it doesn't explain it either!

 

[Sideways]

If it makes you feel any better? It took me years and years in pretty much full time treatment to get my diagnosis sorted out. Try and have some patience while they work through it - ADHD and OSDD are 2 very different diagnoses, with very different treatment approaches, so it’s worth getting it right.

 

[arfie]

I already have several diagnoses, but none of them fully explain this

psychology remains an infant science. many argue that it is too ethereal to be a science, at all. my first formal psychotherapy appointment was in 1972, approximately 20 years before ptsd theories hit the pro publications. the dx'es i have worn in those decades are mind-boggling in their creative diversity. one of my more effective therapists compared himself to a witch doctor who shakes books over heads until a likely-sounding dx falls out. his preferred focus was individual symptoms, tackled one at a time. this approach has worked well for me. call ^it^ whatever gets my life working in your head.

If it makes you feel any better? It took me years and years in pretty much full time treatment to get my diagnosis sorted out. Try and have some patience while they work through it - ADHD and OSDD are 2 very different diagnoses, with very different treatment approaches, so it’s worth getting it right.

i'll second this notion.

 

[SophieBernstein]

If it makes you feel any better? It took me years and years in pretty much full time treatment to get my diagnosis sorted out. Try and have some patience while they work through it - ADHD and OSDD are 2 very different diagnoses, with very different treatment approaches, so it’s worth getting it right.

I´m waiting but each time I go is really expensive. I would like to make it faster for save some money but i don´t want to go and say "Hey, I think I may have this" because he would surely think I´m lying

psychology remains an infant science. many argue that it is too ethereal to be a science, at all. my first formal psychotherapy appointment was in 1972, approximately 20 years before ptsd theories hit the pro publications. the dx'es i have worn in those decades are mind-boggling in their creative diversity. one of my more effective therapists compared himself to a witch doctor who shakes books over heads until a likely-sounding dx falls out. his preferred focus was individual symptoms, tackled one at a time. this approach has worked well for me. call ^it^ whatever gets my life working in your head.

If that works, I won't have any problems. However, some different disorders may look similar but have very different roots. For example, BPD and PTSD. If my psychiatrist thinks I have BPD, they might believe I feel empty and have abandonment issues, sometimes just putting me in a 'box' to justify it. This has already happened to me, and that's what concerns me because they might prescribe medications for things I don't actually have. I have to see how one psychiatrist told me I didn´t have empathy because of BPD, what?? I stuggle a lot with that because I hate when someone is suffering and I can´t do anything, I´m literally studying for this...

I don´t know, from my point of view the problem with diagnoses is that they just prejudge you according to your diagnosis.

 

[arfie]

I don´t know, from my point of view the problem with diagnoses is that they just prejudge you according to your diagnosis.

amen to this, sophie. in my head, the doc who felt like a witch doctor is chiming, "amen," in glorious harmony. worse than what the prejudgments of other people is how i, up close and personal, get muddled and confused trying to fit myself into said diagnoses(pl). in managing my own mental illness on a daily basis, the job feels far easier when i focus on the symptoms of the day without attempting to fit them into broader categories.

which acronym is responsible for this round of my inability to empathize? does it matter? ^it^ remains what ^it^ is, by whatever name. insert therapy tool here.

 

[SophieBernstein]

amen to this, sophie. in my head, the doc who felt like a witch doctor is chiming, "amen," in glorious harmony. worse than what the prejudgments of other people is how i, up close and personal, get muddled and confused trying to fit myself into said diagnoses(pl). in managing my own mental illness on a daily basis, the job feels far easier when i focus on the symptoms of the day without attempting to fit them into broader categories.

which acronym is responsible for this round of my inability to empathize? does it matter? ^it^ remains what ^it^ is, by whatever name. insert therapy tool here.

I wouldn´t matter if they didn´t put symtomps that I don´t have and them they try to medicate them. My T says I have to control my empathy because I have too much but a shrink sayd the opposte after just reading some diagnosis.

 

[Baby Blues]

I feel you with the whole fear and anticipation thing. :( I honestly hate doctors and while therapists etc aren't usually as bad, some of them are toxic, and most (in my experience) are rather ignorant or harmful in some way or another, so it's hard to find a good one that actually knows what they're doing. For the moment I've given up on it myself just to give myself a break. :P

Anyway, try to remember that a diagnosis isn't really that helpful outside of insurance purposes for the most part. It doesn't define you and isn't usually that helpful for understanding what's going on with someone, at least that's my opinion and experience and I don't mean to invalidate anyone else's who has a different way of seeing things.

Anyhow, if you could find a good dissociative specialist, that would be ideal. Most shrinks have no clue about any of that, but lack the humility to acknowledge it. That way perhaps you could get the incorrect diagnoses struck (not that they go away in your record, but you know what I mean). I hate being asked about dx's because I have more than a dozen racked up, only half of which actually apply. Anyway if you could get a decent specialist to do various tests, that may help. It makes sense to spend the money you're going to have to spend anyway on someone who's more likely to be able to help you than wasting it on someone you can't even trust to believe you. (If you do see a specialist then please try not to worry about them thinking you're lying, because you can't control that..not to mention that if they're going to think that it's likely they'll make it more or less observable, and then you can act accordingly)

I've found that I personally can't count on professionals to help me much with my mental health issues, and being disabled by them means it's too severe to ignore...so what I do is treat myself with psychedelic medicines, journal (specifically if you can try journaling or writing letters to the people in your head and ask them to write back, that could be the start of something helpful!), meditate, try to work on my physical health as much as possible considering my physical disabilities as well, keep active in my hobbies and try new new ones often, try to socialize more, etc.

Whatever it is that may help you, it's worth trying! You may be surprised how much something simple may help. I've had therapists tell me how impressed they are with how much insight I have, my coping skills, etc even though I feel like I'm always on the verge of total madness or despair, lol...but it would be worse if I didn't do whatever I could to at least try to help myself.

What would we do if shrinks didn't exist? If we had no access to them for financial reasons (I was without income and insurance for over a decade so I was forced to be self reliant)? It feels so helpless relying on people who never seem to be able to help or even willing to listen/believe, so taking matters into one's own hands is a reasonable and empowering solution to that problem, at least for me and others I've talked to. It definitely helps more than endlessly relating every last traumatic memory and awful feeling to someone who doesn't know what to do with it all anyway.

I do think that self exploration will really help you as far as figuring out what's going on with you! So I hope you'll feel encouraged. :)

When I suppress my other personalities for long periods of time, my symptoms seem very similar to how you describe yours. I can't give an opinion on what's going on with you obviously, but you can try various things (especially journaling and meditation, dream work, etc) to gain insight by exploring your own psyche, which is something a shrink can never do as well as you yourself can.I've found that many problems resolve themselves automatically once I "see" them.

The object is always to live as healthy and fulfilling a life as possible, and while I struggle myself and don't have any answers or great profound sayings for you, I certainly do wish you the very best in your journey and in your life. I hope and pray that you find what you need. :) Best wishes.

 

[Friday]

The thing is that it doesn't explain it either!

ADHD tests reeeeeally high on the dissociative spectrum, because it’s a core component of the disorder. In all 3 forms: hyperactive mental, hyperactive physical, and combined.

It’s what

- allows hyperfocus -the exact opposite of hypofocus- to happen, where the world falls away and the ONLY thing that exists is what is being focused on. Blink? And it’s 15 hours later, you find out after a mad dash to the loo, because, 15 hours later. And not even bodily NEEDS are recognised. Not ignored. Not fought though. Literally no awareness of needin to pee, or fire alarms that leave you half deaf for the next week, or feet run bloody and torn ligaments from massive overuse, or, or, or.

((the ‘deficit’ in the description has been argued to death / everyone has agreed it is inaccurate for decades; it’s more ‘dysregulated’ but that’s shot down time and again in DSM meets, as it’s also intensely organized, with most unmedicated people with ADHD having multiple thought “streams” active at all times… whilst neurotypical people only have 1? Apparently? IDFK how people function only being able to think of 1 series of things at a time… but fractal or multi-dimensional attention isn’t something most people without ADHD can even begin to wrap their minds around; aw it’s not fractured, nor fragmented, which is where people start attempting to understand the idea of layered thought, when “most” people have difficulty understanding even having TWO conflicting, much less unrelated, thought processes going. So then they start comparing to DID, nope! Not multiple personalities, multiple discrete channels of thought, on unrelated topics/issues/etc. Each as subtle and complex as each other’s. Computer peeps, meanwhile, are like… Yeah. You have multiple programs, on the same OS, running at the same time. Efficient. Or potentially efficient. As long as you can defrag & optimise. (LMAO! Yep! Sometimes it’s super fast. Other times, it means the obvious gets lost in the noise; or everything slows down to the point of staring off into space, blinking; Tor priorities are sideways, upside down, & inside out. So around, and around, and around the debate goes. Attempting to find a word that is both accurate, descriptive, AND makes sense to onlookers.))

- allows sanity to happen (a break from overactive senses being necessary to life). Overactive senses = Up to, and including, the ability to shut your emotions off entirely. Being aware of hundreds of data points at all times is exhausting enough. FEELING not only all the ones currently happening, but all the past points, with the same clarity of a flashback rather than a memory? Pfft. There are just times when one needs to pull the sociopath ball cap out of the back pocket & shut it off, to get shit done.

I don't remember all of them but I think they misunderstood some of them because ptsd cause depresion and anxiety and there is no need to add them separately

ADHD nearly always also comes along with depression and anxiety, as ALL emotions are “bigger” (not as big as bipolar, about halfway in between bipolar & neurotypical), and also don’t rise and fade gradually, but arrive full force, and have to be “manually” adjusted by adding other emotions if you want them to change. Like sadness? Can be adjusted to “bitter sweet” and “bittersweet” to “nostalgic” etc…. Because if you DON’T? And nothing comes along to distract? You won’t simply stop crying, as you’re gradually less sad, but cry for weeks. The BPD gold standard only aims for controlling ONE domino of emotions. ADHD people have to learn to manually control HUNDREDS of emotions (ie all of them). Similarly, there are OCD-ish looking expressions (not symptoms, but behaviors & thought processes). And, and, and.

Because all disorders share symptoms, but they also all come from different places, and need different treatment.

Anyway, Enough blathering from me, about a disorder you may or may not have.

 

[SophieBernstein]

I hope and pray that you find what you need. :) Best wishes.

Thank you very much for your comment and for caring about me :). I'm doing much better now and I have a better understanding of how things work. Basically, when things overwhelm me, I tend to dissociate, and if I stay in this state for enough time, they gradually show up. I'm not worried now about diagnosis since I'm not even seeing a shrink. Currently, I'm not taking any medication except for CBD sativa seed oil for anxiety. Additionally, I'm planning to take some natural pills (St. John's Wort in English) for depression because I've been feeling worse lately with that. Anyway, I'm ok and my T seems to believe me so, I'm fine with it. Have a nice day!!!