Extra anxious and hypervigilant when people comes home to my place.

[Hope2]

I’ve such a difficult time when people comes home to me, not many do except my mother , sister and her kids and only a few other. I still often freeze and don’t want them to be there. It’s like everything is still in an uncomfortable way. No flow, no harmony just anxiety and disharmony. And I notice everyone that comes through my door, dampens and get that low feeling. And when I see it I feel even worse, and there’s no good energy left in the room, like a poison when it puts the claws inside you you’re stuck.

I don’t really know how to change this. I try breathing techniques, acceptance etc but nothing really work. It’s easier for me to go to somebody else’s place, then I don’t have to feel the responsibility for my guests. It’s been like this for many many years and I feel pretty hopeless about it.

 

[Survivor3]

I used to freeze alot. It was embarrassing and stressful and I got extreme paranoia.

 

[Hope2]

I used to freeze alot. It was embarrassing and stressful and I got extreme paranoia.

How did you manage to overcome it?

 

[Friday]

I’ve had homes that are NOT my sanctuary, but meeting places. Anyone anytime no worries. When my home IS my sanctuary? It’s a VIOLENT invasion/emotional reaction. Anytime anyone shows up.

It’s almost entirely based off of how f*cked up I am.

 

[Hope2]

I’ve had homes that are NOT my sanctuary, but meeting places. Anyone anytime no worries. When my home IS my sanctuary? It’s a VIOLENT invasion/emotional reaction. Anytime anyone shows up.

It’s almost entirely based off of how f*cked up I am.

Have something helped you if people come by?

Before for many years I didn’t really understand what’s going on, but after I learned and learning more about PTSD and traumas since two years ago I can today connect the pieces. But I feel it’s difficult when I react that way for my closest family and the few friends I still have. But it’s depending how much stress I’ve in the moment. I live by myself and easily build up the stress because of that too.

 

[abovedown]

@Hope2 Do you feel similarly in a public place like library, coffeehouse or gym? Or is it easier when it's not 'your place'?

 

[Hope2]

@Hope2 Do you feel similarly in a public place like library, coffeehouse or gym? Or is it easier when it's not 'your place'?

It’s easier in that way I don’t have to be responsible for my guests if I’m somewhere else. It feels as my apartment is loaded with to many hours of anxiety and depression, it doesn’t easily disappear even if I have sometimes better mood.