Relationship Emotional Turmoil in Family: Understanding and Coping

[Sunshine71]

I am back. Its been some years since I posted.

I thought things were getting better however everything seems broken. Why is it so hard to be a family? Me, hubbie and our son?

Its easier for us to be each be alone or just 2 of us.

We went away for a few days and I do not stop working – its been 20 years since I had a 2 week holiday … this was just Saturday and Sunday. And hubbie flared up – spoiled the atmosphere… it was for his birthday too…

Sitting on a beach in England – sipping ices lattes – I was annoyed about something a woman said to me and the next minute he just flares up at me and our son (18 now) – he is going to drive home. (We live 3 hours away and all drove in my car.)

I am trying to see patterns – does he want to self sabotage family moments? I coudnt shake it off and the weekend was a wash out – he then said I tried to make it great and he enjoyed it.

Is it because I got my “monthlies” the next day? Was I too emotional anyway? Can anyone relate?

Its now Tuesday – so 3 days after what he said upset me….. I am getting on however I just feel so angry – why does he do this? It has happened a lot when it is the 3 of us and we have gone out for the day. We are miles away from home – I find it so shocking to upset your wife like this – make her cry with your words and then how am I meant to get over things when there is no where to go?

Is this PTSD?

Thanks likeminded friends - Sunshine

 

[arfie]

is ^it^ my mental illness, hubby's chronic perfection, a stranger's ability to irritate me or JUST the complexities of life? well, just just it all! ! ! why can't life be simple? sigh. . . the more i think on it, the less sure i am that it is even possible to know. the more i struggle to **know** the more confused i get.

i get more mileage out of accepting my emotions at face value and plying therapy tools to managing those emotions. anger is a biggie in my psycho snot knots. as long as i am fearful and/or angry, i have the intelligence of a sledge hammer. channeling is my go-to therapy tool for channeling. when i am angry with the love of my life (hub-a-lub), i might tape a picture of him to a fence post and beat that picture with a stick dipped in catsup. the thick red goo splatting off the stick adds extra special effect. i try not to censor or analyze my anger. take THAT, you chronically perfect jackass! ! ! once the anger is channeled, i find it much easier to love him as he is, chronically perfect flaws and all.

but that is me and every round is unique. life does seem to be endlessly creative in the psycho snot knots it keeps coughing up.

steadying support while you find your own solutions. welcome back.

 

[nursenurse]

@arfie , the visuals, I am sure it is hell when you are going through all the crappola that you do, but you also gave me a laugh for the day all the while making your point on how you manage.

 

[arfie]

but you also gave me a laugh for the day all the while making your point on how you manage.

thank you for the positive affirmation. on my long and winding recovery i have grown utterly convinced that being able to find gentle, compassionate humor in the plight is my most trustworthy indicator that i am on the right path. emphasis on "gentle and compassionate." i still have to remind myself frequently that "sarcasm" is the greek word for, "tearing of flesh."