Actually, I would say he is correct... it is useless if you aren't the one doing the talking... he can't solve your problems, he can only assist you to solve your problems. If you aren't willing to disclose and get your problems out, then nothing he really says will change that.
Jesse never said they weren't willing to talk. They said that they have a hard time initiating it. I have the same problem. When my therapist asks when I want to talk about in a given session, I will usually tell her everything I want to cover and start with the "weekly review." She is normally, or always, the one who brings my past into play. I just can't initiate it yet.
I do think it's the therapists responsibility to steer the therapy in a direction that's advantageous. IF the patient keeps going off topic, that's another thing to be worked on in therapy, not to be ignored.
He is again correct, you can't rationalise with an irrational person. If you are being stubborn, irrational, then it is useless for him to attempt to help you, because it all goes in one ear, out the other, and you blame him regardless for your failure to want to help yourself.
There is a difference between an irrational person and irrational beliefs that a person has. Therapy is supposed to help you be able to see your irrational beliefs and change them, not ignore them because they're irrational.
And shrinks aren't suppose to get you to be rational, you are supposed to change your own behaviour to be rational.
True, with their help. If we knew how to change our own behavior to be rational, we wouldn't need them to help us.
They are only meant to identify it and tell you that you're being irrational... you have to want to listen, and invoke change. Obviously you don't want too... but instead make every excuse and blame the therapist for your failure to actually talk out your own trauma. They don't mind read, there aren't voodoo tricks they know to get you to talk. By your own admission, you seem to think such tricks exists, as you believe its their job to get you to talk. Strike!
Just because you tell someone they are being irrational, doesn't mean that the person knows how to change their beliefs. Again, if we knew how to do that, we wouldn't need the therapist's help.
Even non-traumatized people have a hard time changing their beliefs and it's even harder to do when the belief is one from a traumatic event or series of events.
Jesse never said it was the therapists' job to get them to talk. She said she had problems initiating, as do I.
Anthony, I really don't understand why when people are having a hard time in therapy, or hard time in general, you tell them they aren't trying hard enough or are making excuses. It's one thing when you know the person and KNOW this is the case, but online, you rarely have the ability to do that. It's hard enough to talk about these things in the first place, but then to be told that your making excuses or not trying can be really hurtful and retraumatizing.
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Jesse, find a different therapist. As has been said, this one obviously isn't a match for you. I am also going to bring up to my therapist that I have trouble initializing conversations about my past abuse. Though I think she is pretty much aware of that by now, it will be good for me to tell her. Thanks for bringing that up and good job for being able to tell your therapist, even if he didn't use the information to help you.
