When very young children (5 years and younger) lose the will to live

[Ecdysis]

I'm dealing with early childhood trauma in therapy at the moment - everything that's pre-verbal, so from ages 0 to 3 or so.

So, very young children (under the age of 5) can't really get "suicidal" the way that adults do because obviously their brain/ their cognitions are structured differently when they're that young.

But very young children can lose the will to live, become apathetic, catatonic, etc.

I know I went through that but it's quite hard to work with in therapy because it's all pre-verbal.

I don't even have a proper question about it that I can verbalise.

I guess I'm just wondering if others know they went through this too and how it's affected them, or looking for any other useful thoughts and ideas, I guess.

 

[arfie]

I know I went through that but it's quite hard to work with in therapy because it's all pre-verbal.

i believe i self-gaslight like a beaten crazy bitch wolf when i go through phases of trying to psychoanalyze mini-me. for sure it was bad with lots of room for whatever atrocity mentioned from whatever source. i have a highly creative nature and can embellish with natural ease. a single lifetime is not enough to experience ALL the possibilities, but all are possible within a psychosis. which which is the true witch in my particular herstory? who knows. proof unavailable in my own case.

So, very young children (under the age of 5)

for my strictly personal approach, this is the operative fact. mini-me is so very young with a very limited vocabulary. to understand her particulars, i have to meet her on her level translate her level to grown up psychobabble? i'd rather try to find an intelligent and good-looking man underneath trump's bald spot comb-over.

 

[jaccat]

Lots of compassion. I went through a period of just visualising being with me/that child, just so she had a presence/comfort. She couldn't tolerate anything more. Certainly no touching or hugs.

I learned about some of my circumstances through my medical notes - being diagnosed with failure to thrive and then literally having the evidence written off/discounted by the medical professionals. It's easier to feel anger towards those professionals than others involved, but it's been important to feel it. I can't change what happened but it's my job to be there for that child now.

That very early stuff has been the hardest for me to accept. It was easier when I told myself I was happy when I was too young to understand, but there is just so much evidence that proves otherwise that I haven't had the luxury to keep that belief.

 

[HomelessJoe]

I tried to kill myself when I was 4. Tried to run away a few times as well. Spent my whole life trying to move forward. To the promise of better days to come. Decades later and I'm still waiting. Life isn't life to people like us it is one long suicide note. I think we have stayed alive for similar reasons. To not take ourselves from others. To help others. I'm always regretting not killing myself. Waiting on not regretting. I've been told that day comes. But never seen it for myself. I hope you all find it, I'll keep looking and let you know if I find it. My only advise is to keep moving forward. I don't know where to look or aim. Just keep moving forward.

 

[WinnieThePoohChris]

Damn, reading this made me realise something that makes a lot of sense.

I was rejected by my biological father at birth, he ignored me my whole life, earliest memory is under 1 year old from what I've been able to find out. I remember him sneering and taking my brothers but leaving me behind. Led to me withdrawing and becoming apathetic, was treated badly and abused by others due to that and his attitude too.

The first time I spoke years later it was a full sentence to my stepdad as he could actually see me. Everyone else thought I had problems and couldn't think or speak properly. Ended up first in my entire extended family to go to University though..

Later about 5 or 6 I was at a window and saw a fatal accident between a cyclist and an artic lorry outside my house. Afterwards I walked out into traffic in a complete daze. Wasnt suicide, more having no basis for understanding what I had seen.

It took 4 years and a nice teacher to come out of that, first book I read was The Hobbit, I'll never forget Mrs White.

Don't know if that helps.