Death Uncle Died

[whiteraven]

In 2023 one of my uncles - one of my mom's 3 brothers - died after a long illness.

Then, last year my sister died--she was diagnosed in February with brain tumors (metastatic melanoma) and was gone in November.

Two or three weeks ago another uncle was diagnosed with glioblastoma and died today.

I was doing pretty well, not obsessing so much about death, getting past my sister's, now this.

I'm so sad.

 

[Ecdysis]

I'm sorry to hear that @whiteraven

It's strange, isn't it. For many of us, in younger years, death isn't "present" so much, often touches our lives in more fleeting ways.

But then, often starting around mid-life, it's suddenly "there" and starts to take so many of those we know.

I've gone through a whole chain of deaths these past few years too and it feels so strange - I keep finding myself wondering "who's next?"

And it's hard to explain it to younger people, who've not had this pattern start up yet. They think you're being too dramatic.

But talking to people older than me, I'm finding it really is a thing. People get to an age, where most of the people in their phone book have died. Or they end up being the last one alive of their circle of friends or their family.

It's a heavy load to carry.

I think we can grow to adjust to it a bit at least, over time. But the initial shock of "death is here amongst us now" when it enters your life in that "I'm here to stay and hang around now, you and I may as well start getting aquainted"... That shock is quite intense and takes some time getting used to. It can feel quite dark and oppressive at first.

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm so sorry @whiteraven .

Death and grieving is immensely sad.

 

[whiteraven]

For many of us, in younger years, death isn't "present" so much, often touches our lives in more fleeting ways.

Yeah...I've been dealing with death (as well as suicidal ideation) since I was very young. Then in 2008, 12 people close to me died. I think after that, I was just done, you know?

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm so sorry. Just lost my mom so I'm in the same space.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm so sorry. Just lost my mom so I'm in the same space.

Oh wow...I'm sorry. My mom is nearly 91, and I sometimes think I couldn't survive that.

*Hugs*

 

[Freida]

I'm so sorry

 

[captain jigglypuff]

Sorry to hear about your losses. People often grieve in various ways and that’s okay. It’s good that you don’t let the thought of death overtake your entire mind. I lost two of my mom’s brothers in a span of four years and my mom in 2013. My one uncle lived close to my dad’s sister who we occasionally visit out in California and he would take me out and we’d see different places in the area which I enjoyed as my aunt basically stays at home all day since she retired and only goes to the store and thus I’m stuck sitting inside her house all day. She also became really weird and not as understanding as she used to be and I don’t like being around her because of the sudden shift in her personality. Going out with my uncle for a day was a way for me to escape her. Now I’m just trying to avoid having my dad send me over there for a week to visit her by saying that I can’t because of my part time job requiring us to ask for vacation time a month in advance. My other uncle I barely knew as I only saw him a few times while I was under the age of four when he lived an hour away from us. I don’t really feel overly sad when people die but it’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that I usually wasn’t very close to the person or they were sick for a long time and thus I had time to grieve and be prepared to lose them.