Sufferer College aged. Stuck in a rough patch

[DownwardSpiral]

I'm new here and came for advice about my next steps for treatment and identifying symptoms that I am not sure are from PTSD or from an unknown comorbid disorder.

My Issue: I have been dealing with some kind of paranoia/anxiety that feels grandiose, stemming from a need to protect myself. I'll give you an example from a few nights ago:

1. I go to sign up for college therapy (I had a negative experience with them. TLDR: they had to do a BIT/SIVRA report on me and took away my therapist whom I started to enjoy sessions with.)
2. I submit the application.
3. Mind starts to wonder about the limits of what I can say.
4. I start to look at the resources and criteria of BIT reports, opening up assessment tools and whatnot.
5. I start to believe that any mistake I could make in therapy could lead to another BIT meeting which could lead to academic leave, police involvement, hospitalization, etc. (note that I'm extremely in my mind, heart rushing and I can't look away but focus on this alone.)
6. I self harm as grounding/punishment.

This way of thinking has happened before, and it does lead to actions being done, whether to myself or what's around me. I am afraid this way of thinking will lead to me committing something I can't take back. I do not know what this is, but I do not welcome it.

I'm only going to college therapy because it is free and can fit in my schedule, but I am interested in doing specialized therapy for PTSD. I'd be interested in hearing on experiences with IFS treatment or somatic experiencing.

 

[arfie]

hello downwardspiral. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

your list of symptoms is on my list of what is now being called, "ptsd." my own college experience surrounded the turn of the 80's and neither ptsd nor the specialized treatment plans you listed had coalesced into formal psych therapy, but those very symptoms, among others, were under intensive investigation.

i can't offer experience with the latest greatest treatment plans, but i wanted to welcome you aboard.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

hello downwardspiral. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

your list of symptoms is on my list of what is now being called, "ptsd." my own college experience surrounded the turn of the 80's and neither ptsd nor the specialized treatment plans you listed had coalesced into formal psych therapy, but those very symptoms, among others, were under intensive investigation.

i can't offer experience with the latest greatest treatment plans, but i wanted to welcome you aboard.

Thanks for the welcome.
If it is PTSD, it is definitely a new symptom.
If it's not, I hope treatment isn't hell to pay for.
I'm glad we have treatments regardless.

 

[arfie]

I'm glad we have treatments regardless.

amen. i hope we have more to come. psychiatry is an infant science with much to learn.

steadying support while you find your way through. a philosophy i've plied to the expense of my own therapy is that a dollar invested in my own head is a dollar no one can steal.