Don't know that the observation helps, but for me it seems like I'm numb almost all the time and then have occasions where emotions just explode into the equation, and I can't think I'm so angry, can't talk because I'm choked up and on the verge of tears, etc. Stuff builds up until it comes out badly and in a massive rush, basically. My goal, and maybe it is something you could look for as well in your situation, is finding some way to vent some of that steam before something triggers a mess.
Now if I just knew how to make that plan work . . .