Ptsd Being Treated With Emdr

[Vega]

I recently received a diagnosis of ptsd from an agency that works with wounded warriors. I was skeptical at first, seeking treatment seemed selfish of me. Combat ptsd is much more serious than my own trauma (my own trauma involving the death of a friend's child through my own negligence).

After establishing that I had good chemistry with my therapist I listened to her recommendation to try EMDR treatment for my case. After some questions I agreed to it.

Last week was my first time working with the EMDR device in her office. It was over quickly and seemed too simple to work, it couldn't have been a minute that I held a tiny pulsator in each hand and watched a dot move around on a screen, all the while I was instructed to recall a peaceful memory. Perhaps this was just a precursor to the actual treatment?

At today's session, I did not use the device, we spent our time just talking. She asked me something interesting... she handed me a sheet full of statements such as "I deserve to be punished" or "I feel doomed", she told me to pick out what statements I felt applied to me.

She went through the 4 statements I picked out one by one, each time asking me when I first felt that way. I assumed she meant this regarding my specific trauma that brought me in for treatment.

She didn't.

She meant when was the first time in my LIFE.

I had no answer. One of the statements I chose was "I deserve this" and to look back on my life and try to find the first instance I remember thinking this, I realized that I have had this thought a lot through out my life. It makes sense to me that in order to defeat this negative thought regarding the event that caused my ptsd, that it would help to identify and resolve the first memory I have of believing it. Maybe the reason I am struggling to resolve the guilt is because I have allowed myself to believe that I deserved what happened in some way. How often may I have let a self deprecating thought become a truth?

To look back on my life and see how hard I've been on myself, I've been setting myself up to become crippled in the event of a tragedy. Attempting to 'un-train' my brain seems incredibly hard now. I had no idea that EMDR might involve my past experiences prior to my ptsd event. It's even scarier to think I will have to face some old issues to resolve a recent trauma that's terrifying in it's own right.

Is anyone else in EMDR for their PTSD? Has anyone else encountered other obstacles during their treatments?

 

[anthony]

Welcome. Yes, EMDR is very good for PTSD. You will get worse before getting better, that will happen with every therapy, so well done on getting into trauma therapy...

Unfortunately your past is linked to your present... its not just all about your trauma itself, as trauma often raises many aspects prior and after trauma, which may not be linked otherwise, though are causing negative issue with you.

There are plenty here in EMDR currently, as well as other therapies, for you to discuss with.

 

[CherubRockerChick]

My shrink says she wants to try this with me... and i'm freaked.

 

[cherryblossom]

Welcome also to you, cherub. I would suggest you read and learn all that you can about EMDR. It can be a great therapy for PTSD, but you need to be sure that your therapist is fully qualified. As I say read all you can about EMDR, and ask your therapist lots of questions. Going into EMDR, without prior knowledge, or without a suitably qualified therapist can cause serious re-traumatisation. So get the knowledge you need, then go from there.

 

[Sasha]

Hi there Vega and welcome. My therapist has been using EMDR with me for some time now. We don 't use it every session and definitely do not use it when I'm not in a stable place. We use it maybe every 1-2 months because sometimes we are working on helping me with other life events that may have come up that I need to talk through and then she uses other therapy methods as well. Plus, I'm kind of slow and reluctant, but she's patient as it takes me extra time to work up the courage to face things. I have found EMDR really interesting. It's amazing how events in life are linked like pieces of a puzzle coming together. Knowledge alone is empowering, but healing does take time, and like Anthony said...It gets worse before it gets better.

After doing some reading, I've learned that the methods of EMDR are used differently. For instance, my therapist uses the 'hand tappers' (vibration in each palm set to different strengths and time), but does not use any eye stimulation, in fact I ususally have my eyes closed during the session. She feels the the eye movement can be distracting and bothers some people. So the idea is the same, but the method used is different.

Hang in there and work through the trauma, don't give up, even when you feel really crappy. That means you're doing the work and remember to be good to yourself.

 

[Vega]

Thank you Sasha, and everyone!

My therapist gives me options, I can keep my eyes open or closed and I chose whether or not I'm up for using the device during a session. She talks things through with me and explains why she is suggesting something and how something is theorized to work. CHERUB - I wouldn't worry unless I didn't have trust built with my therapist. It's a pain to "shop" around for help but the chemistry has to be right. I got lucky, my therapist seems to enjoy figuring me out and she focuses a lot of her effort on making me comfortable. I think that is a priceless quality in a therapist.

My husband is in a special forces unit and deploys frequently. Living right off base put me at an advantage for finding a therapist well practiced with working with ptsd patients, all of whom have it so much worse than I do. I guessed that she would be a good resource for therapy techniques and she is. Again, incredibly lucky. She has been using EMDR on most of her patients for a few years. I know the wounded warrior program has sent her a few and I figured that's as good as any referral. She told me EMDR doesn't work for everybody but that she sees consistent results in her patients. She also mentioned something I think is important...

We spoke about hyper-vigilance one day, the feeling that I MUST not forget what happened and the certainty that if I do allow myself to forget that IT WILL happen again (remaining vigilant in my awareness of situations is almost completely debilitating at times). I told her if I ever allowed it to happen again it would destroy me, there would be no coming back.... so I can never forget, I can never forgive myself. She mentioned that she tells her soldiers "Imagine your trauma is an overloaded ruck sack you are carrying on your back, I'm not asking you to drop it or telling you that EMDR will cause it to disappear. EMDR should just lighten the load considerably, but you experienced something and you cannot simply forget an important experience." So, I imagine (and hope) that EMDR will lighten my emotional and visual memories enough that I can be exposed to my worst triggers and be calm and in control. So far, the only fear I have regarding EMDR is the amount of work to be done, I do not re-live the experience over and over during treatment, in fact, it's quite the opposite. I enjoy going to my "happy place" while I am using the device, it's peaceful. Our discussions can go to uncomfortable places sometimes, when I have to think on my traumatic event, but it's always brief. The search for resolution makes me feel better because I'm finally DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It's almost empowering.

I am rambling.

I guess what I'm trying to say is finding the right therapist should give you HOPE not fear.

 

[OKRADLAK]

It was very damaging to me. I had a weird "episode" and could not get out of the bad place. For almost 2 days I was trapped in that place. I won't be doing it every again.

 

[anthony]

How many sessions did you do, may I ask?

 

[Vega]

I'm so sorry, that's so horrible.

My own experience with it so far has been comfortable, slow, and I've never felt stuck or trapped. I hope it did not stop you from pursuing treatment, there are other options for those diagnosed with ptsd, and so many therapists to chose from.

I would argue that outside support is an important factor as well.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Hi, Anthony-

It was one or two sessions and she was new to it all. She used the box and later told me that sometimes people can have a kind of seizure -I don't know if I had a seizure or not, but it took me back to a place I had not been in for a long time. And I could not get out. She came over and sat with me an entire afternoon. It helped but I could not shake it.

Now I have done flooding, too , and it did not happen with flooding. And the flooding was 3 hours a day during a clinical trial- we taped the session and had to listen to it every day!! THAT gave me arrythmias, but did NOT put me back into that place. The arrythmias were enough that they wanted me out of the study, though-----so that is why I am scared of EMDR. It was worse than intense flooding which made my heart beat go off!!

Eventually it passed but it still scares me that it happened after all the work I have done in recovery.

No it did not hinder my trying to get more help. I keep going on....I found a course of DBT to help the most.

However, I would never tell people not to use EMDR or anything else for that matter. I have heard very good things and we are all so different........whatever helps!

 

[anthony]

Hmmm.... I actually thought they had to hold an actual psychology or above degree to perform EMDR? Pretty sure it is one of the requirements if they are officially licensed through the International EMDR associations. There is a formal qualification globally to be able to perform EMDR legally.

Could be wrong...

 

[OKRADLAK]

HI Anthony!

Yes, I would think so, too. She was a social worker. She was new to it but now she does A LOT of work with veterans. She has such a heart for them as her son is one.

I know there is a lot of misguided heart felt therapy. One lady I knew was all miffed because the VA would not recognize her treatment which was not evidence based. But you do not want every one swearing by anecdotal evidence.

As far as this EMDR lady, I know she had a degree in social work and did some EMDR training. But I was one of her first, so maybe she is better now!