Feeling Good 2 Days In A Row.

[angel2write]

I had a series of flashbacks the night before Thanksgiving (end of November) last year. That horrible night started a downward spiral that ended with me barely able to leave the house for a while and completely freaky and miserable.

I think I've had undiagnosed PTSD for most of my life. I've never felt "right" or "normal." My normal was pretty close to suicidal most of the time. All the good times that I had felt like skating on thin ice and wondering when I would break through and fall into the darkness again.

So, when I got done with teaching today, I wanted to post my first accomplishment. I've had two good days in a row now! Days when I didn't feel like I hated myself. Days I felt calm and happy. Days without feeling like I was holding a monster of grief and pain down in order to cope. It feels really good.

Last weekend was awful, and bad times may come again, but this little patch of peace feels great. My thanks to everyone who helped create and run this site and who has responded to and encouraged me. If I wasn't on here, I don't think I'd ever have been brave enough to go back to therapy. I'd never have faced this stuff. I'm so... grateful. I don't know how to tell you.

 

[sea]

I am really glad to hear this. I hope you continue to have good days.

 

[angel2write]

I am really glad to hear this. I hope you continue to have good days.

Thanks, Sea. Still hoping you will have some good ones someday, too. (hug for Sea)

 

[Heather]

Angel -

I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling good! YOU DESERVE IT! You have given me an amazing amount of support. And I'm so glad for you:)

 

[intothelight]

Angel2write,

I hope you have a lifetime of good days. They are long overdue and well deserved!

Deb

 

[Kintsugi]

That is so great! Congratulations on this achievement. Sometimes the rewards of hard work as slow in coming and too infrequent in their visits, but I have faith and confidence that it all pays out eventually, and I can't wait to hear about your next good day. Keep 'em coming!

 

[angel2write]

Well, the break ended with a bang last night. Screaming on the front lawn. Guess it's time to get back to work! :confused: But I think I've written about all my traumas now, so I'll start processing and working on triggers.