General So, Even Though...

[OKRADLAK]

[DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/members/okradlak.8693/"]OKRADLAK[/DLMURL],

Angel will probably get on here later and say more. She's the writer. And sometimes, I can't really experss what needs to be said.

Bear

We will be glad to meet her and I hope that the support we all have here can help her, too. She sounds like a senstive, strong, wonderful lady!:)

 

[BigBear]

We will be glad to meet her and I hope that the support we all have here can help her, too. She sounds like a senstive, strong, wonderful lady!:)

Angel2write...

 

[Angus McGee]

Update... It sounds like she found an apartment. Yippee. Great. Wonderful.

I keep hoping to wake up, and have this past 6 months as a bad dream.

Here is a copy of my latest email to her. She didn't say she was apartment hunting, she said she was "running errands".

"I can appreciate the fact that you are trying to shield me from what you're doing in case it would upset me, but please know...

I am here to listen to anything you have to tell me. I've tried very hard over the years not to be judgmental or to give advice on how to solve any problems you may be going through. If all you need is a sounding board, or even if you do need my thoughts, I'd love to hear from you.

I will continue to be praying for, and loving you regardless of your address."

 

[Tinyflame]

Angus, my heart breaks for you and your family, but your words are beautiful.

Things have to change to get better, or she will self-destruct. I know you know that, I don't mean to sound patronizing, I know it is unbearable for you now, too.
Like being between a rock-and-a-hard-place, too.

Don't worry you will leave something out, talking to her, just say that you love her completely. I feel she knows that, despite this illness.

(((((Angus))))), I think you could really really use a Big hug. :(

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, Junebug.

One way or another, this all has to end. If it's her getting treatment, healing and coming home, or her filing divorce papers, something has to change. We cannot continue like this.

 

[May1321]

(((((Angus)))))

I read a great Bible verse yesterday that reminds me of just continuing to know and believe that some of the greatest 'victories' come from the biggest battles - and some of those lasted just minutes compared to the longest wars.

Sometimes it takes a major, and unfortunate change, to get to the greater good.

I hope for you and your wife - all the good you can hope for comes through this major turn in events.

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, May. As sad as it sounds, I'm almost getting used to being alone. I struggle to remember what it's like to love and feel loved. Frankly, that hurts more than anything else. I mean, I know I'm loved by my kids, the people at church, etc. There's just something very special and intimate about the love from a spouse. I've forgotten what that feels like and I don't know if I'll ever feel it again.

I miss it so.

 

[complexmind]

I ache for you my friend. There is so little that comforts. You are a courageous and valiant man. Tenderness, strength and integrity in the heart of a man are rare qualities indeed. They are the best a man can offer.....not the easiest, maybe even the hardest...but the best nonetheless. Praying for you now.

 

[Angus McGee]

we "spoke" through FB chat tonight, and she told me her move-in date is July 14. If nothing else, we finally have a time line, and things will finally change. I pray they change for the better, but I honestly don't know what's in store.

I ended the chat with 'love you', and got a 'yep' as a reply.

 

[May1321]

Ugg :( I know it sounds cliche but just remember that the only thing can heal this is time.
I spoke to my dad last night, and as you are a religious man, I told him that if it wasn't for knowing that I will be caught when I fall by the grace of God, then I would not have survived some of my lowest moments. My heart goes out to people who do not know 'hope'. Just keep hoping, Angus. There's a light at the end of your tunnel even if it feels the lights are out right now.
You truly are a courageous man, as CM has said, just for even acknowledging in the midst of this the good in the change.
(((((Angus))))))

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, all. Hoping and praying the therapy helps.