I was exposed to some very bad parenting by a very religious stepmother. The school they sent me to was full of rebellious kids trying to find ways to get out from under the opression of this particularly harsh religion and many of us discarded more than just the religion as we grew able to support ourselves and leave homes that offered us nothing but a united front of total immersion in the religion or total discommunication from it's members. Of the dozen or so kids I have kept track of, there have been a few prostitutes, drug dealers, sex offenders, and one accused of murder but suicide stopped the conviction. The momentum we built up as we waited for our chance to get away was too much for our young minds and we slid beyond "normal" into the outer reaches of society, rejecting authority with a fervor that I have only ever found in people that learned the trait living in an oppressive home.
Personally, I still reject "mindless" authority. I seek out leadership from superiors that have a brain in their head, regardless of their management style or gender, but reject any attempts at authority over me by people that just do not have the intelligence to earn my respect. I don't show it, I do my job and comply with the law and follow the rules and stand where I am told to stand, but I always know who I will go to if the situation requires a leader with a brain and who I will avoid when the going gets tough.
Every time I have been offered an opportunity to step up and take some responsibility for leading others, I have asked myself "will I be willing to represent the people above me to the people below me?" The answer has rarely been yes, and I have stayed in the "hourly wage" category throughout my career because of it. The place I am working now has approximately 600 hourly people, with only 10 of us earning in the highest level wage category. My last review was good enough to max my pay for the category, so until the next monthly wage level adjustment I was assuredly the highest paid hourly guy there, the equivalent of "Sargeant Major of the Army". (highest ranking enlisted man in the US army, only 1 at that rank, he doesn't take any crap from anyone thats not an officer, and very few of them are willing to risk taking him ( or her) on).
There have been times when my lack of respect for unearned authority has gotten me into trouble, but in most cases I was able to find a higher authority that recognised the problem as being one of bad leadership instead of insubordination. Knowing how to recognise the authority figures that have earned their positions through intelligent leadership has been my most valuable skill in these situations. If there is a reasonable person at the top, you can usually resolve most issues with bad management somewhere along the way to the head office.
But all of those skills and ability to cope with incompetent authority figures goes out the window when dealing with my still religious and still oppressive parents. I just cannot learn to bite my tongue and seek approval from someone that doles it out as if they have what everyone wants and can demand their price for it. If I am not being rewarded with a paycheck or a grade that leads me to a degree or a higher position, I will not jump through the hoop for anyone just to earn their approval, especially my parents. I can respect most elders just because they have earned it through having lived longer than me, but I lose all respect for someone that expects me to seek their approval when that approval is the only thing they have to offer and the price they demand is way too much for what it is worth. No sale, sorry.
