- Moderator
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Nicolette
Supporter Admin
After reading another introduction where a wife is struggling with her husband's lack of desire in the bedroom and intimacy I thought we should talk about it openly and frankly so there is a general thread to help others.
My experience is that lack of sex drive is common with PTSD Sufferers; it seems more often or not it can be a side effect of medication but in my situation I know that is not always the case.
From what I have learned in my time on the forum it seems easier for a person suffering PTSD to have sex with a stranger than a loved one as with a loved one is the increased stress of performance, two way satisfaction and the emotional involvement which is not required for a stranger.
That being said there is the other side where a PTSD Suffer has been sexually violated in the past, in some instances causing their PTSD, which the stress of and flashbacks can cause issues for a normally healthy sexual relationship.
The other issue is defining "normal and healthy". To me sex is the added bonus to a relationship, like the icing on the cake, but there are other components like friendship, compatibility and similar values which are the underpinning glue which hold a relationship together.
I think a relationship without sex is hard and I have read on this forum that while some Sufferers struggle to get to that point, the release is also very beneficial for them and helps reduce stress.
Forgoing sex and receiving intimacy such as touching, kissing and holding each other can, IMHO, compensate for lessened sex in the relationship.
My experience is also that you need to "seize the moment" when there is sex on offer as a Sufferer can often shift from one feeling to another depending on what happens in a short amount of time.
My relationship involves a lot of intimacy and enforcing of rules like kisses hello, goodbye and goodnight. (They are no longer rules but established minimums would be a better way to word it). Being sick recently has demonstrated to me that with more hugs and kisses my husband is coping better than he would have done in the past.
I wonder this....... while some Supporters think it's about them being less attractive etc to cause the lack of interest..... have you considered that it is due to a Sufferer's diminished self worth having a mental illness and inability to function how they would like?
My experience is that lack of sex drive is common with PTSD Sufferers; it seems more often or not it can be a side effect of medication but in my situation I know that is not always the case.
From what I have learned in my time on the forum it seems easier for a person suffering PTSD to have sex with a stranger than a loved one as with a loved one is the increased stress of performance, two way satisfaction and the emotional involvement which is not required for a stranger.
That being said there is the other side where a PTSD Suffer has been sexually violated in the past, in some instances causing their PTSD, which the stress of and flashbacks can cause issues for a normally healthy sexual relationship.
The other issue is defining "normal and healthy". To me sex is the added bonus to a relationship, like the icing on the cake, but there are other components like friendship, compatibility and similar values which are the underpinning glue which hold a relationship together.
I think a relationship without sex is hard and I have read on this forum that while some Sufferers struggle to get to that point, the release is also very beneficial for them and helps reduce stress.
Forgoing sex and receiving intimacy such as touching, kissing and holding each other can, IMHO, compensate for lessened sex in the relationship.
My experience is also that you need to "seize the moment" when there is sex on offer as a Sufferer can often shift from one feeling to another depending on what happens in a short amount of time.
My relationship involves a lot of intimacy and enforcing of rules like kisses hello, goodbye and goodnight. (They are no longer rules but established minimums would be a better way to word it). Being sick recently has demonstrated to me that with more hugs and kisses my husband is coping better than he would have done in the past.
I wonder this....... while some Supporters think it's about them being less attractive etc to cause the lack of interest..... have you considered that it is due to a Sufferer's diminished self worth having a mental illness and inability to function how they would like?
