It Isn't Child Abuse

[stray_girl]

My social worker and my mom both told me that my mom beating me up wasn't abuse because my mom was just upset and angry, and didn't know what to do when we had arguments.
My dad used to hit my mom when they were married, and he said "Well I'm sorry I hit you, but I was drunk and you just make me so mad" would that hold up with law enforcement or social workers? Or would they know that hitting people is wrong, even if you're mad at them? It seems wrong that an abuser's sick reasoning to not accept responsibility for their own behavior..is actually accepted as truth, as it was when I reached out for help.
"a million excuses she makes for the bruises"

 

[ItsAllGood]

My family still don't think that there was anything wrong with Dad taking my pants off and looking at me when I was fourteen. They've stopped talking to me since i used the word incest about him. They don't make a connection that he's just married a girl whos the same age as me from a third world country who was practicing prostitution in vietnam when they met. Now she belongs to him till he gets bored. Its hard to say it was abuse when they wont accept it. Is it me or them? Its like....well it was hot at the time so maybe he thought I was too hot? I did say I didn't feel well...

 

[SimplyComplex]

My husband's ex wife beat their kids. One time the older one ran away to our house (yes, we had reported to CPS many times and spent 100K+ in court) and we called the police. He had marks from being strangled and scratched and stuff. Police said "she has a right to discipline her children as she sees fit" and then one told me that my children would be his problem when they are grown because I dont hit them.

What a messed up message, I hope my stepson didn't internalize it too much.

 

[intothelight]

. Its hard to say it was abuse when they wont accept it. Is it me or them?

It's them.

 

[Jacquie]

I was always bruised and cut. I fell off my bike a lot. No seriously I did. Dyslexia has much to answer for and learning to ride a bike wasnt easy for me. But, yanno, when I did keep trying and did eventually get the fact it has to be moving before it wont fall over...I got better at riding than anyone else. You see I wasnt afraid of trying and the pain hurt, but was less important than succeeding and overcoming that bike!

Call that an unhealthy attitude. Its the same attitude that kept me sane and never let them break me for 50 years.

But in the end, someone(s) very recently, broke me. And those people I lived with growing up, would be rubbing their hands together with glee. I guess it now makes me seem as pathetic as they are.

The difference being, I know I can learn to ride a bike by myself. And I know I am not going to stay in this state, because I've got what it takes in there somewhere.

Its not what THEY see me as, its what I see myself as that matters. And I am a big girl now, and I dont have to stay in a place that isnt safe (like we do when we are kids)

My plan for this week, as second step, is to make a forward plan, And I intend to stubbornly stick to it even when I fall off and skin my knees and end up bruised and bloodied. Because I know if I can master this I'll be ok. They WANT me broken, they LIKE me being broken. Well I got a newsflash for them. I aint staying here.

Help and support or no help and support, *I* have what it takes. And I'm gonna get back on my rusted bicycle and ride out of here.

Who else is coming?

 

[Queen Boudica]

Help and support or no help and support, *I* have what it takes. And I'm gonna get back on my rusted bicycle and ride out of here.

Who else is coming?

I'm trying. I think I need training wheels though.

 

[Jacquie]

We all need training wheels. And we are all gonna get bloodied knees and skun elbows when we fall off. And more than once. But if we quit trying and sit in the middle of the road, we're gonna get run over...lol I fell off my bike. I am hurt, confused, bruised and bloodied. I dont like it much. But I WANT what at the end of mastering this. I WANT my freedom back, my smile back (anyone else not smile now?) and I want to feel the wind in my hair again. And no matter how many times I try and fail, I know that failing is part of the learning how to win. And if I have to use trainer wheels and sticky bandages to bind my feet to the peddles at first...then I'll do it. I'm only just learning to ride again, so I dont expect too much of myself just yet.

But I know eventually....you'll see me sailing down that road with a big grin on my face. Even if it on a rusting bicycle.

I am one stubborn ar*sed woman. I am prepared to accept my own screw ups along the journey back to me. That bicycle is me sailing away from what broke me. And I can see the smile...as I leave it all far far behind, not looking back.

But first, skun knees and bruised and battered...and trainer wheels ;) Little steps and not being too hard on myself until I master it.