What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[KP the nut]

I feel a bit tired but good.

I'm proud I overcame an anxious moment and went to a fancy dress party on Saturday night. I'm so pleased I did, it was marvellous. More a small gathering than a huge party and the hosts friends are our friends as well so that made it easier. H and I were the last ones to leave :rolleyes:, it is years since I stayed out until 3am:eek:.

I have a busyish week this week but I will still take time to rest and/or do relaxation to help cope.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Srain]

What am I feeling today??? Yesterday I was looking for Government Housing ready to move out so that when and if my husband decided it was his turn to jump ship on me as well, I would at least have a place to go. Today I feel like I'm bit angry at myself for being taken in again by this person only to get the dumping again, however, I am mindful enough to understand it all, it's hits too close to home for her. I guess I should feel abandoned but I've been there so I don't really.

How can a person feel abandoned AGAIN when this is a feeling that was like a bucket of ice cold water in my face 10yrs ago and since then I have slowly moved beyond. Just because these same people have come back into my life doesn't mean I really expected that they would stay or not do that to me again. So these dramatic letters and wishing me well..are nothing I haven't heard from them before. It all just reiterates who they are to me. I guess that makes me sad.

What is sad that they were all quite happy when I was dissociated and lost. Not speaking out about the PTSD, pliable in a way, I could only listen really but here I am with much to say and it's not what anyone wants to hear because it's about me and of course, the struggles my little family is enduring...so see ya! How sad is that? While my brother is off making his big money again, traveling all over with the kids, Mr. Big Bucks forgot those moments of honesty like that!! Forgot his struggles and honoring those in need,etc. What an ass! Yep, I'm sad. Glad I could help when everyone needed me.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Srain))) Thinking of you and sending strength.

 

[intothelight]

Some physical pain today and I do not like it. I don't know if I am feeling physical pain more because I am in the present or if this pain is bad enough to break through???? It is so confusing. Feeling pain is new as I became so good at blocking it. Feeling emotion is new because I became so good at blocking it too.

Frustrating....

 

[The Albatross]

(((ITL)))... know that feeling well. Hope you feel better soon.

I feel sick but am gonna push through this week anyways. It's the last chance I got for income before I'm out after surgery.

I feel glad I defended a boundary with my mother and was able to stick to my decision not to have her with me for surgery but I did ask that she come and check on me on Sunday. (Sort of a trade)

I feel happy that my honorable Chinese Lady is back from Taiwan and have a small "welcome home" gift for her.

I feel increased financial stress because our property taxes doubled and I don't know where that's gonna come from on top of the car repairs and surgery expenses. (May sell my Mikimoto pearls and try to put my Mardi Gras gowns and vintage furs into consignment.)

I feel glad that I didn't buy into guilt when my mother called me yesterday. Apparently she was at a local production, and a lady from my church asked after me, saying I was on the prayer list and hadn't been well. My mother told me she was embarrassed because she didn't know... but that's not true. There had been two calls that week and both times I said I was struggling and unwell but I was trying to power it out to the surgery... she just blocked it out or doesn't remember.

I feel frustrated with my mother's blank spots.

 

[bittersweet]

I feel sore but happy. I finally got my botched root canal tooth removed. Now I have a bad infection in my jaw but at least I am out of pain!

 

[Stormy Eagle]

Very sad, embarrassed, hopeless, stupid

 

[KP the nut]

Today, right now I'm feeling I should leave the computer and vacuum and tidy the lounge. I have people coming over tonight and even I can't remember the colour of the carpet underneath the dog hair (OK so maybe a slight exageration).

 

[KP the nut]

I finally got my botched root canal tooth removed. Now I have a bad infection in my jaw but at least I am out of pain!

(((Bittersweet))), sounds horrid. I hate dentists. I have 2 more appointments, then at the end of the month I will have my final implant fitted. I suppose all the pain and discomfort and terror is worth it in the end.

I hope your infection gets better soon.

 

[bittersweet]

Thanks KP. I only hate the dentist who did the root canal in the 1st place. She had no clue what she was doing and was in it only for the money. I only agreed to the root canal because my husband kinda forced me into it. Now he agreed that he won't do that anymore. He had the best intentions in mind but it caused me so much pain in the long run.

 

[Srain]

(((((((IntotheLight))))))))))

Thank you KP.

I feel much better after my Son called, although his father is back home they still don't know why is his losing blood, more tests this week. I was happy to speak to him and once again be reminded that I had made a conscious choice to come out of the fog to connect, to fight back for my life back. He has always been proud of the fight in me, I won't let him or myself down.

 

[Sazza]

Still riding this rollercoaster for me. quite like the high and energy but its beginning to feel a little uncomfortable now like the anxiety is mixing in. I keep finding myself wanting to laugh for no known reason going have keep my eye on this. The minute i stop my mood is on floor and i want move again. So i wonder if this is some kind of avoidance away from what i am feeling or if this is proper mood swings.