How A Person Emotional Blackmails People

[Eleanor]

@ Sandra & Maze & Wind. So so sorry for all your pain... wishing you all three peace and healing.

I am glad you are making some discoveries that are helpful in healing. It is so important to have the healthy pattern in mind too. I wish there were more good models on tv/movies. Maybe that's why I prefer reading :geek:.

 

[Sandra]

Thanks Eleanor...hugs for you.

 

[janej32]

Just wondering, are narcissist also commonly emotional blackmailers?

 

[Abrasky]

Thanks sandra for making this thread
:)

Thanks Elenor

 

[Sandra]

You're welcome Maze.
I'm surprised how much I have overlooked myself on this issue. Needless to say it's sure opened my eyes.

 

[Sandra]

JaneJ32

Symptoms of Narcissist disorder includes, but are not limited to:

• Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
• May take advantage of others to reach their own goal
• Tend to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
• Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
• Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
• Easily becomes jealous
• Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
• Obsessed with oneself
• Mainly pursues selfish goals

Narcissists also tend to be physically attractive on first impression, giving them advantages when first meeting people

 

[Sandra]

JaneJ32 they are all classed as a personality disorder. But as you can see there are many types of this disorder.

 

[janej32]

Thanks, I know the symptoms of the narcissist but a few of the narcissists I have had in my life fit the description of the emotional blackmailer as well. I was just wondering if there might be any connection.

 

[Sandra]

Not sure JaneJ32.

 

[Srain]

Manipulation becomes emotional blackmail when it is used repeatedly to coerce us into complying with the blackmailer's demands, at the expense of our own wishes and well being.

This post is extremely timely.

I have been going back and forth over whether or not to call my brother back, even though I know he wants something from me and he has never acknowledged my requests, never asks how I am doing, constantly wants me to get together with my mother, holds my seeing my Nieces and Nephew over my head in order to make me see my mother, set me up one time to make it look to the kids and finally convinced himself like I had said I would see her, calling and changing our plans forcing me to cancel because she was going to be there but refused to see at another time - trying to guilt me over it. When I showed at the hospital (the only family member that did) he tore into me about things he only half remembered years ago leaving out why I had gotten mad, being in ICU I changed the subject.

I am now remembering why I cannot call....why I can't have him in my life...he is NOT the person I thought he was and his call is NOT what he pretends.

Emotional blackmail???

sheesh!

 

[soulofLC]

Wow, I am so sorry for all of the pain I hear in this forum. I have learned a great deal by reading the various posts. I too have blackmailers in my family -- my mother, my brother -- but right now, most painful of all, my son. He is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. He was the sweetest child and adorable young man. But now, he is breaking my heart by finding fault with me without end (I'm late, disorganized, geese, you would think I was a felon!); refusing to have a civil discussion about what the problem is between us; running me down to my grandchildren (most hurtful of all); not acknowledging my needs, my issues, even as I go out of my way to help him. No more. I see now what is happening. Thank you for the enlightenment everyone!! I will get that book Sandra!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to share.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

I was actually very happy that Sandra posted this thread. For so long I thought that emotional blackmail was somehow- I dont know- excluded from being a real form of abuse I suppose. I harbored this feeling of resentment for so long, and never looked at it for what it was, even though I knew all along exactly what it was. I needed this thread more than I can begin to explain.

I am so sorry that you all have gone through this. But I have to admit that I relieved for myself, as horrible as that sounds. I thought I was alone. I honestly thought (and have thought for 3+ years since I obtained the restraining order) that the problem was me. Thank you all for sharing, and for continuing to do so. There is something so virtuous in validation.