Ilse Cervantes
New Here
Hello Everyone,
I meet my husband in 2006. We have being married since 2007 we have a 4 years old boy.
He had an accident before we meet back in 2002. A group of four man assaulted him in his house, they pore gasoline in his legs, miraculously he survived the attack. Before we got into a relationship he explained his problem and also talked about the trauma, at that time i did not care about his problem I was amazed that he has survived such attack, we fall in love and got married in a year.
First three years where the best, we had arguments but nothing serious, i did not know anything about PTSD, I never took the time to look it up, I was too busy with my newborn I got pregnant in our honeymoon. We were to busy worrying about our little one and did not put much attention to our problems.
A year ago he lost his job and he had to move to a different city alone, while me and the kids stayed home. I was afraid of letting him go on his own but I trusted him so much and loved him so much and I knew the job he was sticking for was going to keep him happy and relax. Since in his old job he used to stand most of the time and go from one station to another at the airport, this got him tired and anxious most of the time he would come home frustrated and angry.
Being separated for so long was not easy for both of us. We had many fights over the phone and always arguing, we would travel often to see each other just waiting on the right time to make the move so we can be together.
A month ago he called me to say he wants to divorce because there is another woman in his life.!!!! i was shocked!! every time he would call me on the phone he will say i love you and miss you and I thought he loved me... !!
Three days after the devastated news I got myself on the road to go see him and had many fights,
When I got there he was surprised to see me did not expect me there. Same night we started arguing about him not feeling for me anymore.. He told me he does not love me any more and he wants me to go away.
I called his "new girl" to tell her to stay away from him (first mistake), after this our mother in law got involved and she told her about what he was losing his son and his wife who loved him so much that left her job and everything back home just to come look for him and to save our marriage, so he back up and ask me to forgive him. That he does loves me and that we will stay together. (all this time I'm forgetting he suffers from PTSD)
Problems did not stopped there... he continued seeing this girl so... I called his job because she was a coworker and relationships are not allowed there (second Mistake)
Thirdly after a long week of fighting over the same issue, I push him because he was telling me he did not love me that he never did, he was telling me that he did not want me around, imagine how i felt that the man i was in love with and the man i was married to was telling me this out of the sudden.
I was confused really confused. One day he said he loved me and the next he didn't... this was driving me crazy...
So after I push him away from me I was hurt crying I could not stopped crying... he grab a knife and told me "come push me again to see what would happen to you" since i did not moved i was on my knees, in the living room, he was in the kitchen like 8 ft away from each other he said "i knew it, you back up when you see a knife, chicken" i did not know what to do, this was not the first time he pulled out a knife, so guess what? I called 911 police arrived and I was charged with domestic violence for pushing him and since he told police officer that he was pointing the knife to himself, he went to hospital for mental evaluation. I told the police he suffers from PTSD but he has never seen a doctor for it because he always refused the help. Right after the accident the whole family went to received therapies, after 4 sessions he stopped going. When we were together I had to force him to go see a doctor I often missed work to go with him so he felt the support but never got to see the psychologist there was always an excuse for canceling the appointment.
Now he is forced by police to go or next time this happens he can go to jail.
That night he spend it at the hospital After he got out of the hospital he came to me and ask me to forgive him, that loved me, but he lied because he has issues. He said he wants our family t be together and our marriage to continue to give him time to recover that he will go to therapy. I forgive him and i also ask him to forgive me as well.
After that i came back home with my 4 years old. Empty handed, i left to get my husband i came back with nothing but more problems on top.
It has been 2 weeks of this incident I'm back home and he email me that he wants the divorce "again"
Now I'm all confused!! i think I'm getting sick too, a lot of ups and downs and he is taking me with him in all his feelings. I am tired of all this situation but i love him a lot.
Now I have been searchings about his disorder, and i realized that all his symptoms are part of his disease, that I ignored. I didn't know.
I don't know what to do with this relationship should i continued and help him with all i have learn so far?
Should i sign the divorce and let him free? I love him I'm not ready to him go...
What should i DO?
Please help me ...
(sorry if you can't understand at some point, I'm not that perfect when writing English)
<Edited for font style, capitalization and paragraph breaks by Amethist>
I meet my husband in 2006. We have being married since 2007 we have a 4 years old boy.
He had an accident before we meet back in 2002. A group of four man assaulted him in his house, they pore gasoline in his legs, miraculously he survived the attack. Before we got into a relationship he explained his problem and also talked about the trauma, at that time i did not care about his problem I was amazed that he has survived such attack, we fall in love and got married in a year.
First three years where the best, we had arguments but nothing serious, i did not know anything about PTSD, I never took the time to look it up, I was too busy with my newborn I got pregnant in our honeymoon. We were to busy worrying about our little one and did not put much attention to our problems.
A year ago he lost his job and he had to move to a different city alone, while me and the kids stayed home. I was afraid of letting him go on his own but I trusted him so much and loved him so much and I knew the job he was sticking for was going to keep him happy and relax. Since in his old job he used to stand most of the time and go from one station to another at the airport, this got him tired and anxious most of the time he would come home frustrated and angry.
Being separated for so long was not easy for both of us. We had many fights over the phone and always arguing, we would travel often to see each other just waiting on the right time to make the move so we can be together.
A month ago he called me to say he wants to divorce because there is another woman in his life.!!!! i was shocked!! every time he would call me on the phone he will say i love you and miss you and I thought he loved me... !!
Three days after the devastated news I got myself on the road to go see him and had many fights,
When I got there he was surprised to see me did not expect me there. Same night we started arguing about him not feeling for me anymore.. He told me he does not love me any more and he wants me to go away.
I called his "new girl" to tell her to stay away from him (first mistake), after this our mother in law got involved and she told her about what he was losing his son and his wife who loved him so much that left her job and everything back home just to come look for him and to save our marriage, so he back up and ask me to forgive him. That he does loves me and that we will stay together. (all this time I'm forgetting he suffers from PTSD)
Problems did not stopped there... he continued seeing this girl so... I called his job because she was a coworker and relationships are not allowed there (second Mistake)
Thirdly after a long week of fighting over the same issue, I push him because he was telling me he did not love me that he never did, he was telling me that he did not want me around, imagine how i felt that the man i was in love with and the man i was married to was telling me this out of the sudden.
I was confused really confused. One day he said he loved me and the next he didn't... this was driving me crazy...
So after I push him away from me I was hurt crying I could not stopped crying... he grab a knife and told me "come push me again to see what would happen to you" since i did not moved i was on my knees, in the living room, he was in the kitchen like 8 ft away from each other he said "i knew it, you back up when you see a knife, chicken" i did not know what to do, this was not the first time he pulled out a knife, so guess what? I called 911 police arrived and I was charged with domestic violence for pushing him and since he told police officer that he was pointing the knife to himself, he went to hospital for mental evaluation. I told the police he suffers from PTSD but he has never seen a doctor for it because he always refused the help. Right after the accident the whole family went to received therapies, after 4 sessions he stopped going. When we were together I had to force him to go see a doctor I often missed work to go with him so he felt the support but never got to see the psychologist there was always an excuse for canceling the appointment.
Now he is forced by police to go or next time this happens he can go to jail.
That night he spend it at the hospital After he got out of the hospital he came to me and ask me to forgive him, that loved me, but he lied because he has issues. He said he wants our family t be together and our marriage to continue to give him time to recover that he will go to therapy. I forgive him and i also ask him to forgive me as well.
After that i came back home with my 4 years old. Empty handed, i left to get my husband i came back with nothing but more problems on top.
It has been 2 weeks of this incident I'm back home and he email me that he wants the divorce "again"
Now I'm all confused!! i think I'm getting sick too, a lot of ups and downs and he is taking me with him in all his feelings. I am tired of all this situation but i love him a lot.
Now I have been searchings about his disorder, and i realized that all his symptoms are part of his disease, that I ignored. I didn't know.
I don't know what to do with this relationship should i continued and help him with all i have learn so far?
Should i sign the divorce and let him free? I love him I'm not ready to him go...
What should i DO?
Please help me ...
(sorry if you can't understand at some point, I'm not that perfect when writing English)
<Edited for font style, capitalization and paragraph breaks by Amethist>
