A Hard Truth

[Zipperhead]

PTSD, as a Stress Disorder, greatly affects our self confidence, trust, and communications skills. The end result is that we withdrawl and suffer in silence. This Forum has given me an outlet where I could rebuild some of these skills. I am truely not the same person that came on here last summer anymore. This site has taught me lots, and truely saved me.

But the reality of this condition is that we don't trust easily. We doubt ourselves and we lashout in anger easily. Indeed, a site designed to bring a group of people with these traits together for the purpose of communication is abitious. Anthony has done the imposible in my opinion. The forsight to anticipate the issues and to form the rules to create an environment where PTSD Sufferer's could function shows an amazing talent by Anthony. I wish I lived down under. Once you finish schooling, I think you will make an awesome counsiller.

The side effect to these rules is that people can quickly find themselves in trouble however. The rules are designed for the good of the many, not the few. As many have found out, posting while triggered can quickly end in being banned. If your impact on the site is deemed inflaming, then out you go. Unfortunately this means that often, the people who need the help the most can't get it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't personnally believe that the rules are applied to ridgedly. I have skirted that line a few times myself. It is hard not to lash out when we are triggered. Several times I have logged on believing my login would no longer be there, just to find that once again, I was given the benifit of the doubt. I believe that the Moderators on this forum do an amazing job at keeping the peace. A true balancing act.

So what is the answer? Should we really be banning those that need help the most? Should we blame the Moderators for applying the rules or Anthony for having such a ridged frame work? The framework is what makes this site work to begin with. These rules are why I have gotten as far as I have. The most important rule, don't post when you are triggered. We often forget that rule.

Anthony operates many sites here. Each is designed to deal with specific issues. Each allows differant behaviours. This site is the general hospital as it were. Expert at nothing, yet overall the first line. It has taught me a very important lesson. No matter why we are here, our symptoms are the same. I have, however had encounters on this site that have been less productive. Questions of what could a tank commander understand about various situations, and even being called a baby killer and racist. The one comment that has had the biggest effect on me is that My opinions came off as demeaning and controlling. That was about a month ago.

Since then, I have been unable to post any real comments on this site. I have second guessed myself, and worried about how my comments may be interperetted. I have continued reading, and learning, but I have stopped participating. Was that what the perpetrator in this incident intended? Probably not, but it is a good demonstration of how our words might affect others on this Forum. One sideways comment, and my ability to participate was gone.

So although I really do feel sorry for Sea, I also understand the effect he may have been having for others on this Forum. The good of the many. Best of luck Sea, tomorrows a new day, never stop trying.

 

[Supercd]

Unfortunately Sea did not have the insight at that time to moderate his own behavior. This is not a debate about that.

I would ask that people could afford Sea the respect not to debate about his cognizance or his choices or his rationality or his ability or use him as an example in their own posts about such.

It is not an issue of whether or not he made a choice to do this or that. There was no conflict.

His behavior has been erratic and unpredictable recently because he has been in the beginning stages of a psychotic episode.

He is moving out of the erratic stage and into the delusional and hallucinating stage. He had enough faculties to post while he was wildly affected in his own diary about his own issues.

That is the reality of psychosis and it affects a great portion of what a person is or is not capable of recognizing in themselves.

It is unfortunate that he was banned based on behavior that should have been managed properly but has not been due to his lack of help in real life.

He did not choose not to manage it. He has had an utter lack of therapeutic support in his life. Please do not misunderstand this.

I recognize that is not relevant in relation to being banned and not protesting that decision as I understand his behavior lately has not been exceptional.

What is on here is a limited portion of what he is going through but I would like to set the record straight on this post.

He is not lucid or cognizant enough at this time to be aware of the impact of his actions or understand consequences to his behavior.

I know that if he were he would have moderated himself as he normally has very good insight.

He is at the cognitive level of a child right now. He does what he feels like doing when he feels like doing it. He communicates his feelings by shouting them. He gets angry and sad at the slightest provocation.

He spends his time in the corner hallucinating. He is paranoid that his family is dead while they are standing right in front of him.

He is scared to go outside because he thinks the government is following him around. What he posted on this forum is not an accurate representation of who he is or what his abilities are like.

He may have seemed lucid to some degree but he was not. He should not have been posting at all. He should have been receiving help.

If anyone wants to use Sea as an example they should use him as an example of a person who is a great friend and support if they receive the therapeutic and professional assistance they need.

That you can lose who you are in the midst of mental illness and I reckon that is a scary thought for anyone especially as any person here could suddenly find themselves without help or support.

I have made accurate postings about it here. Please read it.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/a-few-notes-now-and-again.21578/#post-349686[/DLMURL]

If you want to discuss the impact of posting behavior on forum members go ahead. I would request that you keep Sea out of it.

 

[Zipperhead]

Sea is just the current event. Indeed he is in great need of help, and as I said in my post, I really do hope he gets that help. You seem to be forgetting the first 8 paragraphs of my post though. The issue here is more "why would we ban someone who needs help." And as I think I pointed out, the fact that their issues can affect other members of the forum is the answer. There is a lot of people debating or commenting on the issue right now, and I figured that maybe my input might help people understand. However, as you seem to believe that this was a personal attack on Sea, I can understand your reaction.

However, your reaction truely confirms that my opinions come off as demeaning and controlling. Perhaps it's just time for me to move on. I'm sorry if I offended you. I won't interfere again.

 

[wife of]

Not sure what this thread relates to directly but I would like to wish Sea a speedy return to reality.

I'd also like to say that its nice to see you again Zipper, whomever called you such things should hang their heads in shame, I for one am disgusted that such behaviour could take place and assure you that should I ever notice such comments then they will be reported and would urge you to do the same.

Take care you guys,you both have much to offer on these forums.x

 

[ClairBear226]

However, your reaction truely confirms that my opinions come off as demeaning and controlling. Perhaps it's just time for me to move on.

Don't you dare, Zip. I've gotten a lot of insight from your input, both in public posts and private. Just because you have a view that may not be popular, or bothered someone, does not make that view wrong.

I wish for Sea strength to find his way back. We've all had times where what we deal with seems unsurmountable. I hope he can find that will.

 

[sisu]

Zipperhead, you are one of my most favorites on here - I love your insight from both the male and the military perspective. The things that you have written on here have taught me so much. Please don't second guess yourself - your insight is just what I need to read. :tup:

 

[Supercd]

I am not sure what you are referring to Zipperhead. I don't think your opinions are demeaning or anything else.

Whether or not someone is banned is Anthony's prerogative.

Anthony nor this site cannot provide the kind of help he needs and until he gets that help he cannot be lucid enough to participate healthily.

That was the verdict and this would be true whether or not he was banned.

If you can understand why he was banned then I do not see there is a point in debating the issue.

8 paragraphs assume that he was cognizant enough to rationalize his behavior or choice. Which he does not.

"The most important rule, don't post when you are triggered. We often forget that rule." Unfortunately for Sea he did not have the luxury in utilizing the foresight required remembering that rule.

To debate if you should turn away someone who needs help while using Sea's name is using him as an example which was my objection.

As he obviously needs help but he was not having the insight enough to say it whether or not he was triggered.

He had erratic behavior and impulsive or disruptive whether or not he was triggered as that was the illness he has.

That he was banned as a result of that is the conclusion. This is not a website for psychosis nor does it cater to psychosis.

He was not a special case or given special consideration he was a member like anyone else.

I do not believe it was personal or an attack but he is not an example. He is a person who needs help and is not getting it.

I wish that this site could provide with him help. It can only support. Now he does not have support because he was not lucid enough to receive it.

That is the reality for many patients with mental illness. Is it their fault? No. You can understand why it happens and why they alienate their own support system.

I am glad that most people here are lucky enough not to have to face such issues. Please remember when you post you invite feed back.

-Christine

 

[Shattered]

I agree with Claire, Zip...Don't you dare!!! I was attacked repeatedly by someone and accused of some pretty ugly stuff that wasn't true. I was ready to walk away, too. I took a break for one week and returned. I'm glad I did. Don't let someone's careless and false assertions deprive YOU of a huge support.

Chris, I'm glad you responded here. I think people are just trying to process what has happened. ((hugs))

 

[Zipperhead]

The first 8 paragraphs refer to the effects of conflict on people with PTSD in general. It refers to how easily comments can effect those around us in general. And it refers to the rules that are in place to help people come here and get help dispite their PTSD issues. It gives justification to the existing rules, and acknowledgement to the unfortunate results that those that need the help the most often get banned as a result.

The thread really has nothing to do with Sea, it's more a statement that the rules are here for our own good, and those that are questioning those rules as a result of Sea being banned may be missing the point. Yes he needs help, yes he needs it more then allot of people, but his actions interfer with the needs of others. So although the thread is truely a result of what happened to Sea, it is by no means a comment on him. It is a comment to the reaction of others on the forum that are questioning the rules.

 

[Shattered]

...how easily comments can effect those around us...

In that case, Claire and I invoke our powers to make you stay. :D

 

[wife of]

Sometimes we all have minor misunderstandings on here its the nature of the place...

I mean...crikey... could you imagine if this were realtime with a few hundred sufferers and thier overprotective supporters in a big room...there would be outright carnage in no time....

Yes it appears you have wrankled someone tonight a little,but they are not asking you to go,no one has asked for you to go,people are asking you to stay.

If I may offer an objective view....pull on your big guy pants and quit worrying.x

 

[Tinyflame]

Zip, I hope you stay. As someone mentioned above, I am neither 'male' nor 'military' and yet your advice and perspective always has helped me immeasurably.

I do 'hear' what you are saying Zip, and I think everyone just wishes Sea and Christine the best.
I think sufferers are least likely to judge, dealing with what we already are.

Without rules I imagine there would be chaos, and the site would not feel as 'safe' as it does.
So though it is a time when we may be most in need, it may be that precisely then different (other than the forum) help becomes more appropriate and necessary.