Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[Tinyflame]

I sort of feel I died and woke up in that forest picture (712's picture above). :(

 

[Dethuan]

My PTSD feels like I'm in a crowded room of French people.....what they're saying sounds nice, but I have no clue what it means.

 

[EloiseLandau]

That I have a condition that wasn't my fault but I refuse to let them leave their mess in my head.

 

[soulofLC]

Do you recon that your parents had Munchhausen by Proxie? This may seem out of the blue but it took me decades to understand my so-called parents were totally demented and that my childhood was their chalkboard and they had all the chalk. They wrote whatever idiotic thought was running through their minds at the time and I was expected to follow through as a dutiful child who knew better than to resist.

A post close to my heart and mind, TeddySue. My family is also poisoned against me, lies, scapegoating, etc. My support circle has had to expand to friends who care and animals who are so dear. It has taken time to grieve and build new support, but I am better off without them. Still trying! I am sorry for your pain. ((((HUGS))))

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((TeddySue))))) (((((soulofLC)))) ((((EloiseLandau))))) ((((Junebug)))) ((((all of you))))

May we find peace knowing we belong in this tribe.

 

[TeddySue]

My PTSD feels like I'm in a crowded room of French people.....what they're saying sounds nice, but I have no clue what it means.

AND, we KNOW it's French they are speaking even if we can't understand it! We are NOT stupid! Good post!

(((((TeddySue))))) (((((soulofLC)))) ((((EloiseLandau))))) ((((Junebug)))) ((((all of you))))

May we find peace knowing we belong in this tribe.

I've tried so many tribes with nothing but regret. I've even heard others from outside our tribe speak like we do, in part, but not in whole. Thanks for the insight!

A post close to my heart and mind, TeddySue. My family is also poisoned against me, lies, scapegoating, etc. My support circle has had to expand to friends who care and animals who are so dear. It has taken time to grieve and build new support, but I am better off without them. Still trying! I am sorry for your pain. ((((HUGS))))

I have never figured out HOW someone with the same blood running through their veins can totally disown and leave for dead a "member" of their so-called tribe. And because we have been shown that there are tribes out there, we know enough to search for our own. May I say, I'm glad to be here? Thanks for the response.

That I have a condition that wasn't my fault but I refuse to let them leave their mess in my head.

And that's why I'm off to church this morning; it's NOT my fault if some of them have done a job in my face, it's for me to stand up and GO. Before coming here, I would have stayed home and licked my wounds, but today, I am going to face the enemy.

(the betrayal was a family at church who shunned my daughter's graduation in a very obvious way) UGH!

Thanks for the response.


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[Tinyflame]

TeddySue, I think it's often from their self, needs, pain etc, or the reminder of 'yourself' they don't want.
But it's hard not to feel unwanted or discarded or not of any importance, if that's what you've experienced.
(((((Hugs)))))

 

[Chincho]

Sometimes it feels like I'm God's jester.
Like a giant cat playing with a mouse, PTSD waits for me to say "finally a good day", and then brings on all the bad things and gives me a horrible day.

 

[soulofLC]

I have never figured out HOW someone with the same blood running through their veins can totally disown and leave for dead a "member" of their so-called tribe.

Yes, I don't know how "they" do it either. It's like something is missing in them; something sinister has replaced the compassion that could/should/would be there.

Don't even try to figure it out anymore! It just is, and will be. I have no hope for anything else, as it has always been there as long as I can remember.

I am glad you are here too, TeddySue. Welcome to the tribe!

 

[soulofLC]

(((((Chincho))))) I had one of those days (actually, many of those days) recently; good desription.

I am so sorry for your pain. Sending love and healing energy.

 

[TeddySue]

I am glad you are here too, TeddySue. Welcome to the tribe!

Sometimes I am totally amazed at how things turn out... I went to church, even after having a huge meltdown last Sunday night in the parking lot of the church. I truly felt I had not crossed any lines, but was expressing my own emotions and feeling about a past deep hurt that nearly put me to the ground.

I was expecting people to turn their heads and ignore me, but that's not what happened. I had sent an email after this happened, explaining that the meltdown was not about what I was saying, but about the past deep hurt. The first ones to greet me this morning were this whole family; they continued to be gracious and kind and I told myself I was going to accept their obvious offer of making things right.

Please, no one take offense and I promise I am not one to push any kind of religion on anyone; but it is God Who is working in my life, along with this tribe who speaks the same language. I feel like you all have left the light shining in the window for me to stumble upon. Thank you.

 

[Yzeal]

…like I'm a towel soaked in acid, and every wring frays me a bit more.