it feels like i cant trust anyone

[SerenaSolsikke]

i feel like ive disconnected from the world, my family has been abusive and there’s no one i can trust, im stuck and everyone keeps leaving me behind, i feel horrible and i dont feel love or joy, i feel constant panic attacks and sorrow everyday

the thought that im stupid and worthless has been going around my head for long, everywhere i go here feels dangerous and i cant go outside by my own because there have been increasing reports of missing teenagers where i am, i cant walk around outside

i feel hopeless and sad, i dont have the means to contact any mental health numbers, i dont have the means to afford a professional therapist all on my own, i feel there’s nothing i can do anymore and i want to cry :(

 

[arfie]

rocking you gently and crying with you, serena. . .
sometimes life just sucks. . .

but i solidly disagree that there is nothing you can do. you are currently taking an all-important step in getting the dilemma into words and experimenting with safe places to share those words. it is a bold step and you are doing far better than it feels. well done, my healing warrior.

steadying support while you find your next step. itsy bitsy baby steps make the surest journey.
you are not alone.
stay brave.

 

[Friday]

If I cannot trust myself, I can’t trust anyone else, either.

Which is a fantastic place to start. Since you’re right there, & all.

 

[FemaleSurvivor]

i feel like ive disconnected from the world, my family has been abusive and there’s no one i can trust, im stuck and everyone keeps leaving me behind, i feel horrible and i dont feel love or joy, i feel constant panic attacks and sorrow everyday

the thought that im stupid and worthless has been going around my head for long, everywhere i go here feels dangerous and i cant go outside by my own because there have been increasing reports of missing teenagers where i am, i cant walk around outside

i feel hopeless and sad, i dont have the means to contact any mental health numbers, i dont have the means to afford a professional therapist all on my own, i feel there’s nothing i can do anymore and i want to cry :(

I can feel the same way too and have had the same financial struggles. Even therapists admit that care is often only for the rich. With complex PTSD, that’s definitely the case because of the hours involved, but this could be a blessing. Not all people find the therapeutic relationship helpful for recovery. The profession doesn’t work for everyone, and the results can be damaging.

There are some helpful books on the subject. I like Pete Walker and John Bradshaw. Both have written books on complex PTSD and offer some good techniques for self-help. Maybe you’ll find something in them. Also, surf around for programs that work on physical responses, like the RESET program. Even if you can’t afford the packages, they often have teaser videos that you can take advantage of.

 

[whiteraven]

i feel like ive disconnected from the world, my family has been abusive and there’s no one i can trust, im stuck and everyone keeps leaving me behind, i feel horrible and i dont feel love or joy, i feel constant panic attacks and sorrow everyday

I'm so sorry you are feeling this bad. Lots of folks here have had or are having the same feelings, so you are not alone!

the thought that im stupid and worthless has been going around my head for long, everywhere i go here feels dangerous and i cant go outside by my own because there have been increasing reports of missing teenagers where i am, i cant walk around outside

Does this mean you are a teenager? I ask because...

dont have the means to contact any mental health numbers, i dont have the means to afford a professional therapist all on my own, i feel there’s nothing i can do anymore and i want to cry :(

If you are online, you have access to resources you can contact in chat or email. If you are a teen, check out this:
https://onlineteenhelp.com/

There are other sites online that are free--just use search words like "mental health help." There are also apps for your phone, if you have one.