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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Father and divorce. Makes being sick just so much more fun. It was great to hear my T agree with me today that I am walking on an edge of implosion. I think it is a good time to dissociate.
 
Extremely sad.
Trapped.
Claustrophobic.
Anxious.
Tired of being alone.
Very angry at myself.

I am disgusted by society. Eager to make my mark. Depressed because I don't have the mental strength to do it right now.
 
How I'm I feeling.....

Tired
Deeply lonely
Afraid my fears have weight
Confused
Heart broken
Sorry
Scattered
Surreal
Painful
Numb

These are the feelings I feel about the new memories that have been surfacing with the last 2 weeks.
 
I finally got the courage to write to my clients about my cancer and my ending my career as hypnotherapist because of my cancer. I've been getting some awesomely sweet emails. Some have brought tears to my eyes as they mention how much my technic has helped them through some pretty rough stuff. The one that really got to me the most was one from a mother who's adolescent son had made 3 suicidal attempts and the MDs, Psy and Psych docs were not able to help. She said that since he has seen me there have been no more sucidal thoughts and that he is even now in his own appartment, working and doing well with life.

I'm sad, really sad not being to practice anymore as I know I was really good at it and put in a great deal of research for each of my clients. I loved what I was doing.

Those emails are really good to read as they show that some have been liberated and are now stronger.

Thank you for listening to me.
 
I'd felt generally all positive feelings yesterday, as it was really beautiful. This was of course until son's impulsivity, mood and some hatefulness and then our embarrassement and afterwards H's anger and disgust.
 
I've been pretty upset for hours, and can't seem to cry, though I want to. Menstrual as anything, and just feeling like I'm a horrible person.

It's agonizing. I miss them, and I can feel they are worried about me, and I don't know what to do...whether to just call and risk getting rejected so they know I'm ok...or just leave it and stick it out,and not try and 'fix' things?
 
Pretty rough after yesterday's episode. I don't even know if I should call it an episode, as it was more of an attack of insanity. I am embarrassed, ashamed and really wondering if I should even be around people.

I'm not bad enough to be in an institution, but I sure as hell was not sane enough that I should be loose. Totally losing heart.
 

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