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I Think I'm Done.

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Innordinate

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Just that.

Just everything piling on.

I think, what's the point anymore. I'm all alone. Still lonely. Always lonely. Always alone.

It's hard, really hard to find reasons to stay here.

Even what used to work,drinking, drugs, doesn't work any more.

When you give it all you've got and then some, 150% and leave nothing to spare, there's no net to catch you when you fail.

All my energy is gone. Why bring other people down too.

I don't really want to die. I just don't know how to live anymore. And I'm so sick of being alone. All these people around me who 'care' and none of them know anything. So alone.

I'm on here trying to find a reason to be awake but ..........

Nothing.

Tired of being angry, depressed, lonely.

Just tired. Period.

I want to be done and not feel guilty about it.
 
Hi- I think you are special. I have been reading your posts and you are amazing in how you talk. I like listening to you. Please do not give up and hang on even by a thread.

I'm rooting for you. I believe in you. Here is some fresh hope to get through another day.
 
Even though you didn't say much I can relate to almost everything you said here. I feel the same. You are really not alone in this! Yes it is so hard to live with the loneliness that comes with the demons in your mind, while the people who "care" know nothing about anything because they simply can't see it. It is all in your mind and they have no idea--it's not even their fault. It is a lonely battle we are fighting with mental illnesses, and those who want to support us don't always know how. But the only good thing is, you are never that alone in the darkness. There's always somebody in this world who shares your feelings right at this moment. If you give up, how would they feel? You are a special person, a brave fighter, and deserve everything in this life, and you are just having a very difficult time right now, but it will eventually pass. We are all in this together so let's help each other stay strong.
 
I see that you wrote the words "alone" or "lonely" 7 times in your post. That resonated with me.

It's hard to offer mere words that don't sound empty and inadequate. I don't know you, but I know what you tell us in your writings,and I know that trying to reach out and connect through the aloneness at your darkest hour is yet another punch you are throwing back at the enemy, even when you are down.

Alone doesn't have to be an empty place, because hope can still live there, and it can't abandon you, or fade away, or give up on you, or not understand...

Hope is something that nobody can take away from you. It's yours, always, and it doesn't care how bad you feel.

Don't forget it's there, ok?

Maddog
 
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