20 Little Friends In My Pocket

[AzureMind]

Anyone familiar with those 20 little friends that come in a pack? ;) Newports, Marlboros, VA Slims, Camel's, Menthol, Non-Menthol? Yea, I can say that I'm not physically addicted to them, but the habit of having a cigarette to smoke to either keep myself grounded, and keep people away from me is WAY too strong at this point. It feels strange not having one to smoke...they're like 20 little friends that last as long as you have the cash on hand...not to mention the pain that I've been having, in my legs, back, chest, stomach, throat, and hoarseness of my voice. When one doesn't receive that nicotine, withdrawals can start. I've had 'em....the sweats, feeling like you're gonna rip someone's head off, and kick their torso through a wall, feeling like you're gonna jump out your skin; now, it's time to STOP. I want to

Anyway, are there any substitutes for cigarettes? I really don't wanna die, or become a living corpse WAY before my time. I've head that the electric cigarette is, but are they really effective? Anyway, how do you smokers get on with 'em or without 'em?

 

[Loner]

You probably won't believe this, but cigarettes really don't help you at all with anything. Being proud you had the strength to quit will do more for helping you cope than smoking will. Just my opinion. As in most things its easier said than done, and I am not one to judge, at all.

 

[Zef]

Funny thing. . .my doctor and wife and everyone have always said anything they could to get me to stop smoking. . .that is, they did until after I checked myself into crisis center because I couldn't function anymore.

Now, when I mention quitting smoking, they say things like, "Are you sure you're ready for that?" "Maybe you're taking too much on all at once" And My wife said once, "Go smoke a damn cigarette, you're being an ass." :) She was right, I was being an ass. . .

 

[AzureMind]

You probably won't believe this, but cigarettes really don't help you at all with anything.

Trust me, I believe they don't help with anything Loner! Especially the wallet! Quitting isn't the hard par though; when I don't smoke, I don't physically crave them, I feel GREAT and my withdrawals can stop, but I psychologically want them because I consider them friends; it's strange but, I have more cigarettes in a pack than I do real friends to call on when I'm going through it. I mean, friends at times cost you MORE than cigarettes, and since I'm always used to having them with me to drive people away,( at least I think they drive people away) I use them as a defense mechanism against them...I've just fallen out of interest with people, but cigarettes are killing me.

They're just a substitutes for socializing, I think. I normally can't think of anything a 'normal' 20 something would think of as appealing for conversation; trauma aside, I just can't relate, and I don't even pretend to; I love movies, partying with friends when the anxiety takes it's claws from round my neck, and even most creative endeavors, but there are times when I'm so damned racked with stress, and anxiety, and dissociative periods that I can't engage people, I have to be isolated, alone, and in near next to quiet. people think I'm arrogant, but I'm not, I just don't consider most of the things they complain, or talk about as 'problems'.

Anyway, I tell 'em to talk to me when you're so damned anxious you can't hardly stand to be in your skin, and when someone comes over to shake your hand, and you're so tensed you're ready to blast their teeth out; talk to me when you space out and can't remember 23 years of your life, and see if you want to talk to people about yourself, if you even REMEMBER what there is to talk about yourself that is...THOSE are problems, and believe me, I'd rather not have 'em, I'd take a regular life in a HEARTBEAT.

 

[AzureMind]

Funny thing. . .my doctor and wife and everyone have always said anything they could to get me to stop smoking.

Zef, I hear you man! I used to smoke pretty good back when I used to work at a warehouse; there was lots of reason to be stressed then, and I used to just de-stress with cigarettes, whenever I was pissed, or ready to spit acid, I just smoke a cigarette, my anger is like 0-220mph and I figure I'd rather not get a charged with something I did in the heat of the moment, so I hang back and just smoke a cig. I'm on edge constantly, either raging bull pissed, or calm, icy, composed, and some days, I can't get it together, god knows I wish I could, but I've yet to do it if it's at all in my power.

Thing is, I'm sure I'm ready, but I mean, a human being needs some kinda support, something to hold onto when their moving back and forth between PTSD, anxiety, depression, and dissociation; I use cigarettes also to 'ground' me and keep me in the moment. I mean, I space out/dissociate at the drop of a DIME, no kidding, like I could be talking to someone or seem like I'm all there, (I've even gotten down the number of blinks down to a science to seem like I'm still present and attentive) the thing is, I usually do care to hear what people gotta say, but my mind is like 'yup, this could be trouble, I'm gonna pull your consciousness plug now!'.

Smoking just keeps me present. That's all. I'm trying to think about what else can...physical activity can't because I will just space out then...I'm highly dissociative. Only time I don't space out is when I'm actually smoking the 'greenery' but that's been a while. :D

 

[Zef]

Yeah, It's not the smoking that is difficult to stop, it is the break time that smoking provides me when I am getting overwhelmed. The little hit of dopamine they give doesn't hurt, either. :) If I weren't working, I probably would quit in a relatively short amount of time. Without those little smoke breaks through the day, though, I would be impossible to work with. . .rather than just very difficult. :)

 

[OtterMedicine]

I'm familiar with those 20 friends.

I used to have them in my pocket all the time. They are like friends that come over, steal from you and break your stuff. Yet we invite them back because at least they keep us company when we need it.

The ecig was good for times when I couldn't smoke around people. Oddly, I was more worried about the chemicals THAT was putting in my body than the ciggarettes! LOL

When I finally got fed up with them, I used nicotine lozenges and sugar free lollipops. I don't need friends like that... :tdown:

 

[NIKI]

I absolutely understand about smoking for anxiety. That's why I started as a teen. Of course as a teen I also thought it made me look cool.:cool: So NOT cool.

Maybe you can slowly cut down. Only allow yourself 10 friends a day for a while. Then 5 friends, you get the picture. Then maybe you could just suck on a non-lit cigarette. Even just pretend to light it first. Maybe you could keep one with you if you feel real axiety and want an excuse to leave a situation by pretending you want a smoke.

I haven't had a cig in 4 months!!!! Yeah me!!!

 

[missmary]

When I quit smoking the 3rd and 4th times, heh heh heh.... I use to keep little Dum-Dum suckers in my purse and in my car. Every time I got in the car, I would light up- so instead, I grabbed a sucker. They were sugar free and small, so it took about the same amount of time get through one as a cigarette. I say suckers, because it gives you the hand-mouth rythm that smoking does... If you don't need that, then take a candy break, chew super minty gum, get something sour or try a special mini-treat of sorts that will get your attention and keep you interested. Maybe that could help???

Otherwise, I used the e-cigarette and found that to just allow me smoke inside too! Didn't really help...

 

[Hashi]

...a human being needs some kinda support, something to hold onto when their moving back and forth between PTSD, anxiety, depression, and dissociation; I use cigarettes also to 'ground' me and keep me in the moment.

i relate to this (for me, it's not smoking but something else). Of course I hope you can stop/reduce smoking, it's harmful etc etc, but at the same time you can't just remove an important coping mechanism without something giving.

What I'm working on is building up other, healthier coping mechanisms to replace it. Gradually increasing those and decreasing the unhealthy coping method. Maybe substitute cigs could be part of that, but I think it also needs to be mental/practical techniques for grounding and calming.

 

[Tinyflame]

Well, I went all day without smoking today, but just one day.
Some days I go without for 9 hours or so, not possible to have one at work.
I work at home etc too a lot. But I'm also up with insomnia a lot, so I can smoke more in 20+ hours.
I've smoked 30 years, since 12, minus quitting once for a year and once for about 3 years.

I never thought of it as grounding- very true, I think.
Have always been a wired-type, lots of energy, seems to go hand-in-hand.
Think I'd be happy if I could reduce it to 1/2 pack per day, much as financially I'd like to quit.
However, one good thing about being single/ no kids, don't have to worry about a shortened life span.

One amazing thing was, when I quit for 3 years, first 6 months was hell and caught every flu etc in the book, but after 6 months I felt like a non-smoker, never craved one at all, didn't matter if I was with other smokers.
I would never have believed that could be ever possible, after all those years.

Good luck to all who've quit/ moderated/ would like to! :) :tup:

 

[sharky]

I have a V2 electronic cigarette and I quit almost instantly and I use to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. If you get a good quality electronic cigarette, I think that helps the most and has less side effects than the patch.

Just be careful which strength of nicotine you get. Mine is a medium right now, as full gave me headaches because I tend to chain smoke (and you can actually die from a nicotine overdose). I plan on switching to light soon, and then switching to the zero nicotine ones after a while.