Sufferer It Doesn't Get Worse Than Me.

[Rachelove]

I'm here because I have ceased functioning on every level of life. I can barely think of things to type to express what ptsd has done to me, I'm already sobbing. I can't eat, I can't breathe, and I've forgotten how to love myself, or anything else. I live in a daze, bouncing in and out of reality. I've sought help, a lot of it. I've only gotten worse because of it.

All the medicine just makes flashbacks/obsessive thoughts/destructive behavior WAY WORSE. Therapy does nothing but induce anger, numbness, detachment. I swear I'm trying I'm trying so so SO HARD to help myself, but I can't. I just can't. I'm in a very serious relationship and I don't know what it's doing to him or how to talk to him, that's really why I'm here.

What can I do to help him help me, to not feel suicidal for wanting his help, and to help him? Please, anyone, help me please.

 

[chiquitabanana]

Stay strong do one day at a time. My boyfriend has pstd I haven't heard from him in days. I'm trying to stay strong but this hurt knowing what he going thru.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Can I ask if you are having help for how you are feeling? There is plenty of information here, so take your time looking around.

 

[Rachelove]

Stay strong do one day at a time. My boyfriend has pstd I haven't heard from him in days. I'm trying to stay strong but this hurt knowing what he going thru.

I said a little prayer for yall, i like the one day at a time mantra, thank you that put a little smile on my face:)

 

[Rachelove]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Can I ask if you are having help for how you are feeling? There is plenty of information here, so take your time looking around.

My family(mother, sister, grandmother, fiance) are very supportive, but no I don't have much help. I believe in God and I get help through that, and some stuff I read here is really helping I don't feel so alone now so thank you so much for making a site like this! :)

I know my family would help me if they knew how, mostly i just want them to listen to me when I'm having an episode and just validate my feelings by comforting me that's all. I'm afraid to reach out about 80% of the time though, so sadness turns to anger and I know no one wants to comfort an angry person so I'm not sure how to get the help I want

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome to the forum. This is a good place to find healing. Take your time getting familiar with the forums. Go to the chit chat section and get involved if you are up to it. It may cheer you up some. It has sure helped me.

Hang in there and do not give up. One baby step at a time. Big hugs. It is nice to meet you. It gets better it just takes time.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Rachelove,

It is really hard to convey feelings sometimes and the best thing I can say is to reassure those close to you that it is not that you are angry at then, it is that you are angry at, about.....(fill in the blank). Sometimes what I have called anger is just a response to overwhelming fear and when I can set the anger aside I can talk about what I am afraid of.

Navigating this disorder, sorting it out, and getting better is not easy. It is a journey filled with ups, down and at times taking some side roads. But keep working on it and over time it will get better, really it can get much better.

I hope you find the information and support on this site helpful

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Loveneverfails]

It is really hard to convey feelings sometimes and the best thing I can say is to reassure those close to you that it is not that you are angry at then, it is that you are angry at, about.....(fill in the blank). Sometimes what I have called anger is just a response to overwhelming fear and when I can set the anger aside I can talk about what I am afraid of.

This is such great advice. It can really diffuse some extremely intense situations. When you tell someone it isn't them, that you are just having a hard time coping from your past, they can take that burden off their own shoulders and focus on either helping you or just living without feeling like a failure too. Eliminating the guilt in both parties can help a relationship A LOT.

I also liked Debbie's idea of setting aside the anger first and talk later. Sometimes it's good when emotions are overwhelming to set aside a time to feel all of it without feeling guilty. When you are alone and in a safe place, allow yourself to be angry, sad, cry, rage, beat a pillow and so on. The emotions are happening for a reason, let them happen when it is healthy to let them out and things will eventually become less intense.

 

[Rachelove]

Nice to meet you too Gizmo thanks for writing I'll definitely check out that section! My car accident was about a year and a half ago and the ptsd has just been steadily getting worse I just want to get to rock bottom already so I can start getting better. does it just keep getting worse until you find a therapy that works?

 

[Rachelove]

Debbie that was such good advice I actually tried that when my sweetheart came home for lunch, i had to rush cooking the lunch and it made me act angry but i was really angry because I got mad at myself for having to take so many breaks from reading some info on this site...it was tough. So in reading your comment I just tried that with him and I'm so happy because he was never mad at me and knew it was really about ptsd. so instead of us having tension all day, now:

1. I don't feel ashamed, guilty, or resentful
2. He comforted me and explained that how I was feeling was normal and okay

thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

 

[Rachelove]

This is such great advice. It can really diffuse some extremely intense situations. When you tell someone it isn't them, that you are just having a hard time coping from your past, they can take that burden off their own shoulders and focus on either helping you or just living without feeling like a failure too. Eliminating the guilt in both parties can help a relationship A LOT.

I also liked Debbie's idea of setting aside the anger first and talk later. Sometimes it's good when emotions are overwhelming to set aside a time to feel all of it without feeling guilty. When you are alone and in a safe place, allow yourself to be angry, sad, cry, rage, beat a pillow and so on. The emotions are happening for a reason, let them happen when it is healthy to let them out and things will eventually become less intense.

lol read this after I replied to her, so true! I would like to set some time aside to cry or, whatever, but I have trouble shutting down the emotions without inducing a panic attack. I feel like my brain is saying, "NO! deal with this NOW!"

 

[Loveneverfails]

I find journaling really helps with that. Because writing requires a little focus and helps me find words for what I am feeling. Plus I can express myself in a way that I can look at later to help find the root of what is triggering the excess of emotion.