Dan,
It's good to hear that you are starting to find the answers you are looking for. I have been dealing with diagnosed PTSD for almost five years, though I have been told it was there and left untreated since I was a child. I am still finding triggers I didn't know that I had, but a lot of them have gotten better. (I can now look at Christmas plaid without crying! Yay!) When I first started to talk about what happened my nightmares increased ten fold and my hyper vigilance went through the roof. It took me about two months to calm back down, but it helped to know that my husband was there for me, as I see your wife is for you. The important thing to remember is not to push yourself too far too fast - take your time and listen to yourself and what your mind is trying to tell you. Over time I hope you will find some peace with your trauma.
Best wishes,
Mouse