My Birthday Is Saturday & My Grandma Does Not Know How Old I Am...

[kdblossom]

It has nothing to do with her being 83 either. I am so unimportant to her she never remembers my Birthday or my age :mad: . My family wants to know why I don't come to family events but makes me like an outsider :banghead: . I am SO ready for January to come! :coffee:

 

[piratelady]

As difficult as it is, try not to let it get to you. On your birthday, surround yourself with people who care about you and try to enjoy your day! :)

 

[Nicolette]

I am so unimportant to her she never remembers my Birthday or my age

I suggest you surround yourself with people who do value you and what matters to you. I used to put myself through self torture wanting my family to be something they are not and act in a manner which mattered to me but didn't to them. Reality is they are who they are and I am different to them. I have my friends and I have my own family (some not blood) and I enjoy my time with them rather than investing energy into something I cannot control or change.

Treat yourself, do something special and enjoy your birthday rather than let the day pass being upset by what you know will be. Ignore that and focus on you as it is only you upsetting yourself now as you know the situation. Getting upset and mad only hurts you while a day just passes for them. Take your power back and make yourself happy. Have an awesome birthday - it may make your grandma take notice if you no longer fall prey to her unwillingness to respect what matters to you.

 

[ms spock]

Piratelady and Nicolette both make good points.

My family is the same so I don't have contact with them.

People that are meaningful and okay are the ones to focus on and have around on your birthday.

 

[anni]

Yes, that's exactly right- what's been written here. I also realize it's probably comes across as 'easy for us to say', to kind of detatch from family and create your own life, but gosh it's freeing. All of a sudden you're a whole, different, new person- not having to walk into a room and instantly go do battle with an image someone fabricated for you, insists on stuffing you into for whatever reason. You're just plain you. It's very nice.

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm horrible at remembering birthdays and ages. Thankfully my friends and family know that I am(I use to be really good at it). Now, I'd rather not remember or celebrate my birthday(though we did a good job last year) and I'm lucky to remember my age.

I agree with everyone else, but wonder, have you ever expressed to your grandma how you felt?

 

[ms spock]

I found it very hard to detach from my family. It took me years and years to accomplish that. So in the meantime try to be kind and sensitive to yourself and give yourself lots of time.

 

[kdblossom]

Thanks everyone. I have always buy myself a treat for my birthday. I tried once years ago to explain how felt to my Grandmother . It didn't click :banghead: . I really have not liked celabrating my birthday since my Mom died (her's was the 22nd). However, that goes over this part of my family heads :mad: . Funny thing is all my friends get it....

 

[Britt.f7]

I really have not liked celabrating my birthday since my Mom died (her's was the 22nd). However, that goes over this part of my family heads

Sometimes people think they are over it so you should too. My mom died six days after my birthday. Though she had come out of a coma right before my birthday, she didn't realize it was my birthday when it came. It was a sad day for me, I had to take my birthday day to find a special home for her. My sister tried to make it nice by taking me to a movie and trying to help me forget about my responsibilities, but that wasn't easy. The following year after her death, I really didn't want to celebrate. But, I let my sons and husband take me to the beach. The boys even beckoned me into the water. Then we went to my sister's for cake. She had little ballerinas all over it because I use to like ballet.

My grandpa died the day before my mom's birthday, and buried the day after my sisters. No one in my family thought it unusual that my sister and mom had difficulty on their birthdays for awhile afterwards.

Sometimes family can be insensitive clods. I'm sorry your family doesn't get it and your grandma is the way she is.

 

[ms spock]

Funny thing is all my friends get it....

Those friends sound good!

 

[kdblossom]

Those friends sound good!

They are the best :joyful: ! It helps that I have a friend that is one of 3 brothers born in October and the middle one is dead. Cassiddy gets it better then anyone :cool:...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are rich having good friends. I think this is wonderful for you and will help in detaching from your family. Hugs.