Triggers - At Work

[isis1313]

Hi -

Am new here and need help. I have recently moved to a new city. Away from my comfort zone, family, friends and everything I know. Also I thought I moved away from my triggers for my PTSD.

I have PTSD due to domestic violence, I had my skull fractured by my ex boy friend. I spent time in therapy and thought I moved on. I have had relationships since but that's not what this is about. I work long crazy hours in an extremely hostile environment. My boss is volatile and blows up at the slightest things. He is also my roommates significant other. It has gotten so bad that I told her he is no longer welcome in our home because he makes me uncomfortable and its bad enough at work that I feel that way - I refuse to feel that way in my own home.

This week at work has been unbearable no matter what I do, nothing pleases this man. I am a big girl I can deal with that, its life, you cant make everyone happy all the time or ever as it seems with this jerk. But he got in my face Monday and screamed at me and told me I was stupid for doing exactly what he told me to. On Tuesday he called me a F&*$*ng bi^$h! I almost lost it and had to leave my office. Wednesday I couldn't even get out of bed because I had a panic attack and didn't want to lay eyes on him.

My roommate thinks I am being unreasonable and she says he would never hurt me. I believed that before and have the x rays to prove that anyone can be capable of violence.

I guess I am asking if anyone knows what I can do to help myself cope with these triggers before I end up quitting my job.

 

[Cufflinks]

Hi Isis, welcome to the forum. What kind of work to you do? Is it a big company, small one, specialized job etc.

From what you say it almost seems like you've jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. People are just not allowed to treat an employee like that. The guy sounds like a thug and a bully. Can you change jobs or move within the company?

 

[isis1313]

Thanks for the response.

It is a very small company only 4 employees including the owner. There are some business partners who are not directly involved. They were told of his behavior and were honestly not surprised. Apparently his temper is well known.

I dont care how he is with others I know what I can handle and this isnt it.

Unfortunately money doesn't grow on trees and I need to work. I actually moved here because of this job and now dont want to get out of bed in the morning.

 

[Sailorgal]

Start looking for another job NOW and let them fire you - don't quit. I tell people this, get paid to look for another job. Tune him out cos you know you're leaving. Don't say anything to your friend. Just get the hell out of dodge.

Nothing you can do. My previous boss who owned the company was an abusive u-know-what and NONE of his people, including cousin, had a positive thing to say about it. We all got the screams in the face saying we're stupid and don't know what we're doing.

Corporate America just hides it a tad bit better but unfortunately, these guys will always be around, never change, and keep their jobs.

 

[Bilby]

What an absolute a*sehole! He isn't even coming remotely close to treating you how you should be treated. I am not at all surprised that you are struggling!

Is there much of a job market in the city where you are? I'd strongly suggest looking for something else right now - it is not healthy for you to continue to be in such an abusive environment.

 

[Cufflinks]

Start looking for another job NOW

I would like this twice if I could.

Definitely look for another job

 

[ericaboo]

I guess I am asking if anyone knows what I can do to help myself cope with these triggers before I end up quitting my job.

Whether or not you end up quitting, there are things you can do to help cope in the meantime. It sounds like you moved on from therapy, but if it was helpful to you before, maybe try that again?

IMHO, if I were in your situation, I would try to reduce all other stressors in my day-to-day routine to avoid being overwhelmed with other triggers besides your job. Take breaks. Find ways to pamper yourself at work.

Know your rights, as far as how much overtime you can be required to work, breaks you are entitled to, the grievance process at that company, etc. I would suggest you check out the Labor or Employment law websites for your State, Province or Country.

 

[Sailorgal]

Safenow, without giving any personal details, what kind of work do you do?

Some people have soft, easy listening type of music playing, decorations at their desk (pictures, sayings, stuffed animas, etc). I know people who used to be in physical therapy keep those stress balls around (fun to play office basketball with).

 

[safenow]

Sailorgal, lol. I didn't know I was part of this conversation, but here goes. Right now, I don't work outside my home other than artwork. I used to work as a legal secretary for an immigration attorney. I've also worked other jobs, but it wasn't until I worked as a legal secretary that I able to have some stability with my ptsd.

What type of work do you do?
safenow.

 

[Sailorgal]

Oops I meant Isis!!! Darn iphone! Lol

 

[safenow]

Oops I meant Isis!!! Darn iphone! Lol

ROFLOL

 

[Sailorgal]

Yah sometimes hard to scroll back and doing quotes takes too much work unless it's short!

Recently moved so looking for work now. Sooo fun...