Knowing If You Are On The Right Path

[Thinkingman85]

Yes, I think losing a job is easier to get over than losing loved ones. You can get another job. You can't get your loved ones back. Just my opinion.

 

[Sailorgal]

You obviously did what we all do - continue. My friend still has moments. It took her several years to clean out closets.

We all come to forks in the road at different points. All these roads look different. It's good that you recognize you are holding onto the pain. I never talk about mine. For years I kept it to myself because I had to take care of myself.

Learn to love you and your life the where it's at. I never told people because I didn't want labeling when I was really ok. I just wanted acceptance, that's why I accept people no matter their life - easy or hard. I watched mine suffer for two years and there are things I will never resort myself to face because it's painful. We can retraumatize ourselves over and over.

What you faced was horrible, but reminding yourself how horrifying it was will no doubt keep you tied to the pain. You have a chance at life. :)

 

[Sailorgal]

Question, what if the job loss resulted in losing a loved one?

 

[timid_flower]

TM, I think you will find that many of us here were able to continue life, succeed and accomplish many different things after the trauma. Then of the sudden PTSD hit, we crashed and burned too.

From what I know (could be wrong) there is no clear reason why some of us develop it, while others don't. However, we have to remember that PTSD is not a character or personal flaw.

I like to think my therapist was right. Right after the trauma, we didn't really process what was happening. We just focused on going back to as normal of a life as possible and all those emotions we had to work through got stuck in limbo. PTSD is our brain's way of saying "hey, you still have this pain in limbo that you need to work through. Here it is." So we're having to work through all of that now. Maybe it's been years, and that's a heck of a memo to get all of the sudden, but here it is. We have to work through it.

 

[Thinkingman85]

Sailorgal, I consider losing a job similar to someone getting cancer. Yes, it could lead to death. However, it may not. Losing a loved one is set in stone. With losing a job, at least there is still a chance even if the odds are really really slim.

Timid_flower, sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time working on processing the PTSD. I succeeded more when I lived in denial. Why can't my brain just keep me away? Who knows. Hopefully, there's light on the other side.

 

[Kim500]

as for Christmas being where the fragile meet the compassionate, I believe I found people here who are both. :)

Me too Sailorgirl, and I'm sure we speak for a lot of people on this forum who feel the same way! There's so many wonderful and unique people here, I love it! Ok, now I have a lump in my throat again! :shy: (((Hugs to all during this Christmas season!!!)))

 

[Sailorgal]

Denial is like hiding all the junk in the coat closet!!! Just don't open the door!!!!

Hugs to you too Kim and all!!!! The lump is from swallowing the candy cane too soon! :)

 

[Kim500]

The lump is from swallowing the candy cane too soon! :)

Oops! Is it that obvious! He he!:brb:

 

[timid_flower]

While reading a blog about PTSD, I came across a snippet from the book mentioned here earlier "Man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl. Thought I'd share it..

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves

 

[timid_flower]

Timid_flower, sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time working on processing the PTSD. I succeeded more when I lived in denial. Why can't my brain just keep me away? Who knows. Hopefully, there's light on the other side.

You are most definitely not wasting your time, thinkingman. Actually, I think this process has the potential to become one of your greatest accomplishments :)