What Made You Angry Today?

[ms spock]

I am angry at my loss of a sense of self.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so angry at my HMO for not having any help or services for us. The doctor did not put him in the hospital. He was exhausted from the trip and he snoozed all day. He is snoozing now. The delusions and the hallucinations will get worse until that is all he will be able to talk about. I hate this disease that is destroying him before my eyes. He will end up a vegetable. We do not know how long this will take. I will not be defeated by this. I will rise and fight this disease in my husband and let him know how much he is treasured and loved.

I will not abandon him. I will take care of him. I surrender to this process. We will have more and more delusions and hallucinations each day. It is really messing with my ptsd symptoms. I am triggered something fierce.

 

[ms spock]

You can't fix dementia gizmo. I really wish that you could, but we can't.

Can you get some home help in so you can take care of yourself? You will really be needing regular respite to keep yourself going so you don't fall into a heap.

Even a local support group could be of assistance in accessing local services and having people who have strategies to manage your hubby.

It is important to not take it personally, I know a lot easier said than done.

 

[ms spock]

Dementia makes me angry.

 

[Abstract]

Instead she kept pushing the idea

Britt, can you put some strong boundaries in place? You don't have to accept things that are unhelpful to you.

loss of a sense of self.

So sorry Ms Spock. I know that feeling.

ngry at my HMO

Dear Gizmo. No wonder you are angry. You have every right. I wish you some respite. I too am angry at dementia like Ms Spock and on your behalf.

 

[Abstract]

back makes me mad

So very sorry Safenow. :( Sending you some of those butterfly kisses you like.

 

[discarded]

My exhusband didn't turn up to see our daughter yet again. We have been apart 5 months now and he has seen her 5 times, all of which I set up for our daughter's sake. He phoned last night to say he would come over this morning after I left for work (the arrangement he suggested was to see her for a couple of hours every second Saturday when I work). They usually get the train into the city for brunch and a look around the shops or something. When I got home from work she was sitting there all dressed to go and had been for 3 hours. All I could think to say was. "maybe you misunderstood and thought he said he was coming". I texted to see if something had happened or if she had in fact misunderstood and the reply came back, "oh the trains weren't running". But he had not thought to call her or me and say he wasn't coming. And of course the gtrains were running (we live right at the end of the train station). Yep, I was angry. No point in letting him know though, he obviously didn't give a damn in the first place so anything I have to say won't make a difference, only get him angry.

 

[anni]

Gizmo, I know you can't get out, but do you have any connections with a church? I don't mean for spiritual help. Yes, awfully important but that'd be like that fall-down funny photo I saw on FB. 2 missionary types were looking terribly pleased with themselves while handing what certainly appeared to be a poverty-stricken Haitian woman a Bible. The caption read " Thanks! This looks yummy! " Please don't anyone yell at me about the good work some of the missionaies do, that's a given. There are also this type, and I don't quite think it's what Jesus had in mind.

Anyway, the 'real' churches, with ordained ministers, are incredibly well connected through-out the various social services. Ministers are trained counselors, too- and not just directing everything back to some Bible verse or religious dogma. It's the real thing. I think it does depend on which one, and alsp probably who you 'get', but it's what The Church is really all about, my goodness, helping humanity here on the planet, not just having us get dressed up once a week and go listen to songs and a good story. You've done every, possible thing you can require help and direction now for both your sakes. Somewhere out there is a minister with the knowledge of resources you might not be aware of, or possibly an 'in' which has been denied you previously. Please know that I'm not pushing some religious thing on you ( lapsed Lutheran! :) ), just a PK ( pastor's kid ) and have seen them in action, know what some of the individual capabilities are, you know?

Hugs for today, and much respect, believe me. Hope it's a little helpful to know we're here, sending Prayers, Peace and Light.

 

[safenow]

have seen them in action, know what some of the individual capabilities are, you know?

I agree with Anni. There are lots of wonderful services out there from many different churches. You just need to tap into those services.

 

[Britt.f7]

can you put some strong boundaries in place?

I did tell her that I wasn't going to watch it. That was pretty amazing for me. She didn't understand why not, even after my telling her that it would only make me feel bad. Finally I just told her I realize she had the best intentions, but it was only leaving me upset. Which I believed she did but just didn't get it. I decided that she was not the person to talk to about my weight. As much as I love her, she obviously can not be supportive. Not in the way that I need.

When I got home from work she was sitting there all dressed to go and had been for 3 hours.

My dad use to do this. A girl I grew up with recently told me she hated seeing me waiting there for him. To this day I do not know for sure if my mom was just telling me he'd be there when he wouldn't or if he truly ditched me all of those times. Chances are, most likely, he ditched me. Especially considering he's done it even in my 30's and where my kids have been concerned. He never thinks to call.

A friend and I talked about this in our teens. She had a dad who never made contact with her. My dad was sporadic, felt like a revolving door. We weren't sure which is worse. The "now I'm here now I'm not" deal was really difficult to deal with. Could be why, to this day, I hate it when people give me any excuses, even if legit, for bad behavior.

I hope your daughter's father get's his crap together. She deserves it.

 

[safenow]

After I was rescued, my father could only see me with a chaperone. So he came when I was in his brother's home, one time. He was there for about a week. I went back to live with him when he had a live-in girl friend for about 3 months. Then on my 10th birthday I was sent away. Then, when I was in the orphanage, he came one time, just to tell me he was leaving the state. Then, he came to my wedding to give me away. I guess I was lucky to have seen him at all. But I sure did want a father growing up. Someone to protect me. To bad he never did.

 

[KP the nut]

My computer, I need to replace it. It wouldn't accept the webcam or software and then it lost the internet connection.