Drinking To Feel

[71nothing]

That's great JadedGhost. Good for you for sticking with it and having such a good attitude about it! :)

 

[Britt.f7]

Why, if the wine or drink isn't doing anything for me, do I crave it? I can't say it makes me feel. Well here is to today the first day without either. Can only help my weight.

 

[JadedGhost13]

Britt, best of luck to you. It is not easy giving it up, but over a few weeks it will get easier and easier.

 

[Only 1 of me]

Wow, another great and eye opening thread. It's amazing to find things that I thought were weird and somehow shameful about myself are quite usual in the light of ptsd. I don't drink at all at the moment- I'm only recently stabilising after months of horrific depression and on lots of meds so won't take the risk but I know that when I do have a drink it allows me to feel normal emotions. Definitely something to think about, how to get there without a drink? Any ideas?

 

[Gamereign555]

I drank as a part of my daily ritual to avoid and isolate. I would buy my beer, some cigarettes and pot if i could and just sit there on the computer all day playing games. It would make me feel so good and was never complete without the alcohol. I would feel involved with the online community in the games I would play.

I do recall experiencing more than normal daily anxieties and my sleep would suffer from it. Overall as an alcoholic, I have decided that it isn't an option for me to 'feel'. It also badly compromises my judgement in doing things I know I shouldn't or normally wouldn't do, like other drugs or drink more than I should. My behavior also got more strange as it interacted with my current medications. It did keep me from panicking for months but with a heightened overall sense of anxiety if that makes sense. But it is a slippery slope for me to drink at all anymore. So I don't.

People who drink to 'feel' are only drinking to 'feel different.' Identify with yourself if you are an alcoholic first off, if you have PTSD, it is going to be a question of how in control of your life you are already. The notion that one with PTSD has to 'drink to feel' simply scares me.

 

[Hashi]

I know that when I do have a drink it allows me to feel normal emotions. Definitely something to think about, how to get there without a drink? Any ideas?

I think one aspect of it is that it makes you feel safe enough to have the emotions, because it muffles them for you so they won't be overwhelming. If you felt more able to regulate your emotions when sober, that might give you enough safety to let yourself be aware of your feelings. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy uses skills like self-soothing, distraction and mindfulness to help you keep your emotions manageable (eg at [DLMURL]http://www.dbtseofhelp.com[/DLMURL]).

Another aspect is that it temporarily reduces anxiety, which can block or mask other feelings. Things like deep breathing, relaxation exercises and guided meditation help reduce anxiety.

Journalling, automatic writing (writing from the subconscious), creativity such as art/music/creative writing, and journal exercises can also help you reach your emotions.

 

[Britt.f7]

Another aspect is that it temporarily reduces anxiety

I was thinking that the wine I drank did nothing. I didn't think I felt anything different. Reading this I realized that was what it was, it relieved my anxiety I have later in the day. I do have medication for when my anxiety gets worse, but I never think to take it. This is one of those Aha moments. Thank you!

 

[Gamereign555]

Agreed. For me on the other hand, I think I would drink way too much and feel the other side effects of alcohol. This would raise my overall anxiety throughout the day. The initial dulled feeling I would get is what I was always after.

 

[reckoner]

Me too.

 

[Hashi]

Even the hangovers had a pay off for me. I know that might sound odd, but realising that was a big thing in getting sober. When I was sleep deprived, dehydrated, sick and my head pounded, I didn't feel so anxious then either. When that penny dropped was when I seriously started looking for some better strategies.

 

[71nothing]

Thank you Hashi. You make a good point that it may not make me feel but makes me feel safe to feel.

The urge to drink heavily has been strong the last few days because I've felt alternatingly depressed and detached. I have resisted drinking even a wine cooler because I would not stop with just one. Also, to sit home and get drunk by myself would just lead to being more depressed. That being said, I know that if anyone asked me to go out to bars I'd jump at the chance and be quickly trashed. It scares me to be that out of control but I'm drawn to to it and wait and hint for the opportunity to present itself.

 

[The Albatross]

Booze is a disinhibitor (making it safe to feel), but the flip side of the disinhibitor is that it impairs judgment.