Dealing With Feeling Like I'm Being Targeted....

[Tribulations]

I didn't really know where to post this but I really need to vent. Has anyone felt or been targeted by neighbors?

Let me start from the beginning. We moved into this apt about 5 or 6 months ago, the first month was quiet and then it began. Loud running, stomping, banging, etc. Now dont get me wrong I love kids, the kids are not the problem. Yes they make noise, kids do that. However, the mother is the problem. She doesn't take care of the kids really (hence the running etc).

Anyway moving forward a month or so after talking to the husband numerous times. As well as contacting the front office, and them getting a 7 day notice. One day it was really bad, so I tossed, not threw my shoe up towards the ceiling to let them know it was loud. The woman started stomping horribly, and I snapped. I went up there and yelled some choice words to her and went back in my apt.

Fast forward some, her husband comes banging on our door. He starts yelling at me for this and that, saying I started it for one and two that I threatened to kick his daughter's ***. I would NEVER EVER do that, are you kidding me?! Now I did tell his wife (who can't speak english except for nasty words) when she tried to approach me to start a fight.... that if she wanted me to kick her *** I would. Yeah like I'm going to go up there and randomly start screaming on a sunny afternoon on some random day. Please.

After the incident it got better for 2 weeks. Now however and for the past 2 or 3 months, it has been relentless. Stomping, banging, running, swearing, screaming and oh yeah the dog barking and sirens/horns apps. They know about my anxiety as that was brought up in the meeting with the apt owner and management (the manager is our friend). The owner immediately started saying things to insinuate that I wasn't intelligent and a common thug. Our friend called her out, and defended me.

I know there are times I am sensitive to sound my partner consistently tells me I have ears like a dog lol. However she even said that the noise is ridiculous so I know it's not just me, even though sometimes I do.

I guess my next question is, what can I do to protect myself?

I admitted my wrong and have been trying to tread lightly, but this woman hasn't at all.

I hope this post is okay and not too long.

 

[safenow]

HI Tribulations. There is another person here with the same situation. I'm sure she will be along once sees this thread.

I live in an apartment complex, where the buildings are close together. The neighbors out back were just like your neighbors for the longest time. With enough of us complaining to the landlady, she finally gave them notice. Either clean up your act or get out. They cleaned up their act.

I hope your landlord will stand by it, and do the same thing.

 

[Tribulations]

Thanks Safenow, by the way I tried the 5 4 3 2 1 game earlier. It did help, it was super hard to focus but the more I did it the easier it got. Next thing I knew things weren't as bad, still a little but better than usual. Thanks again for sharing that.

Unfortunately I have the neighbors upstairs and the complex behind our back porch. Our apartment only has four units per building. The neighbors directly above us are pretty bad, the people next to them are as well. The people behind are pretty bad too. People set off fire crackers in the dumpsters which are right by our back bedroom window. Those days are bad, really bad. It's like I am a big ball of firey anger, I hate it. I will usually try and walk away from my partner to compose myself those days. I think the insult to injury is they laugh.... like it's funny. I don't understand how it's funny to do that to someone?

I try to do thing the right and socially acceptable way I really do, but sometimes I just feel stuck or like a sucker.

 

[safenow]

I think the insult to injury is they laugh.... like it's funny. I don't understand how it's funny to do that to someone?

I so hear you. Those type of people are sick. I think under the circumstances, if you are able to do it, I'd move. Feeling safe in your own home is vital to healing. In my humble opinion.

You are very welcome on the 5-4-3-2-1 game. I only share things that work for me in hopes they can help others. This is not an easy path this PTSD. But when we can help each other, it makes the world a little bit better place. In my opinion.

 

[Tribulations]

Thanks it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one who thinks this is wrong. We are going to move eventually when we get caught up on some bills. I don't make a lot of money or have a steady income, I do what I can from home. My partner wants to buy a house but like I said some stuff needs to be fixed first. We are planning to buy a house with at least an acre of land. Would rather pay for a mortgage and property tax anyway, paying rent seems so fruitless and a mortgage for us would be lower.

I know I can't make as much progress as I would like right now, but I do want to do what I can. I am hoping it will get easier to deal with over time.

 

[Tribulations]

*sigh* well today was going alright, until it started again. Now I have been being patient and controlling the anger, so my partner texts the guy. The response we get is ridiculous, and made me really anxious. He texted her back "Should I kill my daughter would that make your friend happy?". That was his response to her saying they're being loud. My partner is frustrated, not with me though, with him. He didn't even recognize us as a couple, I'm just her "friend" ugh so irritating. Anyway it seems as if there are subtle stabs he's trying at, she forwarded the texts to me. They know I have high anxiety and ptsd (I am pretty sure I was diagnosed after the dad incident), the records however are in a different state and the hospital I was diagnosed at shut down.

Sorry I'm rambling some I am sitting here taking deep breaths, telling myself that it's okay and he is just a jerk. Having my two dogs with me helps too, they make me feel protected. Anyhow he is friends with the office staff guy, we are friends with the apartment manager. The owner ugh, don't get me started on her. He is trying to get us moved or evicted now, which is ridiculous since we don't make noise. We don't throw parties, maybe our arguements get loud very rarely but seriously who hasn't been in a heated argument before? We keep the dogs quiet and they have already gotten a 7 day notice before.

Was it not nice to text the guy that it was too loud?

I mean geez man I even use towels on the counter tops because I know we eat dinner late because my girlfriend gets home late.

I tried starting a diary today, had a lot written but my phine bugged out and it lost everything. So.... I guess I will have to figure that out.

 

[safenow]

Having my two dogs with me helps too, they make me feel protected.

I'm glad you have them. That guy is a big jerk, and worse. How could he even say such a stupid remark like that?

Keep breathing my friend. Keep breathing.

 

[Tribulations]

Thanks Safenow, I am breathing. Smoked a cigarette too, that always helps some. I know it isn't healthy but we roll our own so it's not as bad as brand name cigarettes.

Yeah dogs are great I love them so much. My boy is 12 years, almost 13 years old now he's a chihuahua rat terrier mix, my girl isn't even a year old yet but she's BIG around 70 to 75 lbs. She is an american pitbull terrier, she is the sweetest dog ever. They get a bad rep, but they're misunderstood like me, guess that's why I love the breed.

Thank you for the comforting words.

 

[Tribulations]

There was a knock at the door, and another, and another angry knocks. It was him, I didn't answer, he went back upstairs and started making a lot of loud bangs. He then opened the sliding glass door and started playing the dog and horn sound apps, and then another app that said p***y. I'm guessing because I didn't answer the door. My girlfriend told him I dont answer the door or leave the home due to anxiety and stuff. So to me this is intentional, I just calmed down. I haven't done anything wrong except for that one day when his wife tipp3d me over the edge. Now he is trying to do the same, I feel angry at myself for not answering the door and telling him off. I feel weak, I know it sounds dumb but I do. I am trying to do the right thing, but it seems the right thing is leaving me defeneless against these tyrants.

I can't wait until my girlfriend gets home. The feelings are fear because he is hostile towards me, and the reaction is survival and anger. It is so hard to sit here and be dubbed a weak person because I am trying to prevent huge conflict. I know I could take him, that is not a question, I just really really don't want this to go there. I am breathing, but am now afraid to roll a cigarette as he may hear me and come down and try to start something.

 

[Tribulations]

I just calmed down and now it's right back up there, why are people so cruel? My skin needs to be thicker sometimes I feel, I hate to mope. To me though it doesn't feel like moping, it feels like desperation, hopelessness, trapped. Sorry to be such a negative Nancy, I really do try to stay positive.

 

[safenow]

For me, not feeling safe in my own home is not healthy. It tends to keep me anxious 24/7. Check out my diary, "How it began" page 10, Item 230, and page 15, Item 365 for ways to help with anxiety.There are also some good grounding stuff on page 1, item 21, page 10, Item 235, and page 18, Item 443.

I hope your girlfriend gets home soon.

 

[Tribulations]

She will be home in about an hour and a half, I feel bad she has to deal with a lot of stuff. She says she does it because she knows me and she loves me rough patches and all. Thank you Safenow, I tried the 5 4 3 2 1 game but he is being horrible and it is too hard right now.

I know it isn't healthy but her brother kicked us and her parents out of his 2nd home so he could rent it out for more money and gave us 2 weeks notice. We didn't have a lot of time or money to be picky I guess so we moved here. I am thankful for this roof over my head but this is horrible. We are trying to get out of here before April. The last months have been pretty intense. I don't know if you know this or not, but when your diagnosed in one state, when you move do you have to rediagnosed again? Also do you know if mental health files are kept elsewhere other than the facility itself?

I am off to read now, thank you Safenow.