What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Philippa]

Hoping you feel better soon Ms Spock. I consider you a friend indeed.

As for me, I am feeling crampy, achy, menstrual as anything and grumpy. I got to go home an hour before work finished though, so that was good...but it took an hour to get home as the trains took so bloody long...so *grump grump*

I think I'm feeling cranky, but I'm supressing it.

 

[LaurieJ]

I am feeling totally spent. Yesterday was a very bad day and I'm trying to recover. Everything just got to me all at once and opened the floodgates to all the bad from my past. I think I'm going to do some more EMDR to clear things out. Right now I need to work on getting my strength back. So today I'm focusing on me. I'm going to the bookstore and getting a book. I used to love to read but stopped for some reason. Then maybe I'll go out to lunch. Anything to do with just getting out of the house is a plus.

 

[Britt.f7]

Tired and a bit hopeless wondering how I am going to ever feel like I deserve good things, that I am a good person and that's okay to think. Wondering how I am ever going to feel worthy of being alive. Tears starting with that one. Sometimes truth in pain just sneaks up, doesn't it?

 

[Finding Shawna]

I'm with you Britt.f7, fighting back tears for the second day in a row.
Feeling depressed, angry, hurt

 

[CraftyCath]

I chose what you said to Safenow, CraftyCath, because it struck a chord with me.

You are welcome RD. :hug:

((((((Britt and Fining Shawna))))))

Me too. :( I want to cry but I just can't.

I'm feeling so stressed and anxious as my sister-in-law has been texting me today to try to arrange for us to come over for a family get-together while my other sis-in-law is in the country. well, I just can't deal with it at all. This sis-in-law (the one from Italy) will not see me on her own and keeps trying to get us to meet up with other family members, safety in numbers. I'm not playing the game.

Eventually, having put her off twice I got a text asking if they can come here next week sometime. I told her my H was on late shift (which he is) so they would have to sort it with him. They are not my family after all. Why the sis-in-law in the UK is doing all the texting and not the one from Italy is beyond me.

I am now anxious because my H left in a mood and I think he will give in to them and let them come. It isn't fair as my lads want nothing to do with them and I'm still space out on the Gabapentin feeling drowsy and drunk, nauseous and still have blurred vision and slurred speech. If it doesn't wear off I'll have to go back to my GP. Until then I do not think I can deal with this and I am worried that I might be overruled and have to 'entertain' a bunch of people that don't even like me, lie to me and will expect me to be quiet and polite. (I have never been quiet and polite before so why start now! :D).

Seriously emotional and unwell. Pissed off and vulnerable. But the gloves are on and I won't give in.

 

[Finding Shawna]

((((CraftyCath)))), thanks for yours!

 

[Let It Be]

Have been anxious since I talked to my cousin who went to my mother's funeral, 3 years ago, because she told me that she would send me a copy of the service program.

After not having received it from her, after looking in the mailbox everyday, I decided to send an e-mail to the funeral home. I became more anxious at myself because I didn't hear back from them.

After getting angry, I realized that in talking with my cousin that the wound was open, and I needed to do something about it.

I called the funeral home this morning and asked them if they still have this program, and if so, if they could send me a copy of it. Thus, now, as I wait to hear back from them, I am feeling better, as I will know one way or the other, if I'm supposed to have it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Happy Birthday MomOfTwo. I am so glad you had a good birthday.

I am feeling good this morning but nervous about my daughter having a sheriff go to his work to serve him papers. I sure hope he kept his job.

I will be busy today so that should help. I will be nervous if he lost his jon and does not get served.

 

[Spiderallis]

Depression is getting heavier and I woke up to a phone call that 'T-time' is canceled. Two weeks until my next appointment... think I may have to call up and ask if there's any chance I could get in sooner. Tried to find some reason to keep going, but I can't see anything on that far-off horizon. It's hard to keep crawling when there's no destination.

 

[littlelostchild]

SHAME bubble. I shared my paintings with my T today and needed to distance myself while I explained what they meant. At least I was able to recognize that was what I was doing - I couldn't make eye contact and described how it represented me living in my first home and having been raped 9 times and how I painted it in a certain way to show the mood. I explained that when I paint it is like another part of me takes over, I have no idea what I will paint until I am doing it and I am done when my hand is done.

After I told him this and that I recognized that I had to distance myself, he asked me why and I responded (after a pause) that I think I was afraid of ridicule. But when I left his office I felt really upset and couldn't really figure why. But it's the SHAME, that's what it's really about - no eye contact, the distancing. My heart is sore, my brain is crying! I am ashamed. But they did it to me.

I want to hide in a dark place.

 

[littlelostchild]

I usually want to read your (everyone's) postings and be supportive - but I have to go away and be by myself. I am going to light a candle and listen to music in the dark.

I hurt really bad right now. I'm sorry.

 

[ms spock]

I am feeling tired and weary now. I don't want to go and boogie board. I want to go to sleep.