Returning To Studies: How To Build And Maintain Confidence And Motivation?

[Philippa]

Do you feel that the teachers put undue pressure on you to be at a certain level Ms Spock?

I never went to art school, primarily because I think it can really harm the self-esteem of artists and sensitive people to always have to be trying to gain the approval and please the teachers, who often can be cruel and will heartlessly crush their spirits, instead of inspiring and building them up. I don't like the idea of painting for someone else, and find it defeats the purpose of art for an artist...if that makes sense?

I don't know if this is the case here, and I'm not trying to sway you from your studies, as it is wonderful that you want to improve and become a better artist...I just hope you are in an environment that is conducive to that? Then again, us artists all have that inner critic that just loves to tear us apart at any given moment, and try and sabotage our efforts, so all we see is crap. It's normal.

Maybe in time you will be able to look at it again and see it in a new light?

 

[ms spock]

I know this is really basic stuff. It has taken several days since starting this thread to get to the study mode. I have been thinking about it.

I did do:

1x 5 minute bird identification study session.
1x 5 minute drawing session
1x 5 minute Visual Arts Diary (VAD) session
1x 5 minute writing session

 

[ms spock]

I just hope you are in an environment that is conducive to that?

Last year the teachers weren't the best. This year I have one great teacher. The other one is okay. He is a bit mad. Everyone knows that he is a bit mad so it is not my problem at all. It is everyone's problem!

It is more what is happening inside of myself that is the challenge Philippa.

 

[71nothing]

Ms Spock. It sounds like you are sticking to your plan! That's great news!

How have your classes been?

 

[ms spock]

I am doing okay with my classes 71nothing.

I have been going and mostly being present. I have been grounded, contained and quiet. So I have been doing okay at them.

 

[Philippa]

Yes, it does sound like your internal dialogue is making your life hard at the moment. I hope you are able to stand up to those mean thoughts and turn it around. I bought a subliminal Mp3 for positive self-talk, and I have found that after a few weeks I started to react differently to things I did that I ordinarily would be hard on myself about, and seemed to naturally speak to myself in a much gentler tone and forgive myself with greater ease. It was a good feeling.

I leave the subliminal on silent and repeat all night, so it just absorbs into my brain while I sleep.

 

[ms spock]

It is a matter of just doing it now. Being disciplined each day to do it.

 

[Philippa]

I hear you there. I forget so much, and when the dialogue is going on at a deep level, it is very hard to actually catch yourself having those thoughts. You need to be quiet to hear them, and life is very rarely quite, unless you are making time to meditate. It's hard work.

 

[safenow]

not get overly involved in other people's lives and concerns.

Good plan. I'm glad you are doing so well, Ms Spock. I'm proud of you for putting forth the effort.

I am nervous about going back after so many years and at my age.

I remember one time, when I went back to school for my bachelors in graphic reproduction. I was the oldest one in the class, and wasn't sure of myself. It was so different than my normal artwork. I had to ground myself a lot.

During that time I was married to my last husband, and we had his grandson living with us in a small travel trailer. My ex thought I'd get discouraged and quit, but I didn't. I was able to keep my grandson safe and study at the same time. It turned out to be a lot of fun, and a great experience.

I hope yours is as rewarding as mine was. One professor was very strict and harsh, yet I managed to get a 4.0 each semester. The other was funny and showed us way to turn problems around using various means. Very practical. Very funny man. I ended up being offered a job before I even graduated. They not only wanted me to take charge of the back part of the shop, but also liked my artwork enough to design the cover of their wine labels for that year.

My only advice would be to pace yourself, as you said. Take small bites at a time. The only way to eat an elephant if you ask me.

 

[ms spock]

My only advice would be to pace yourself, as you said. Take small bites at a time. The only way to eat an elephant if you ask me.

I am really starting out with the small bites at a time viewpoint.

Today I haven't got much done as I was sick this morning. Spent three hours at the doctors this afternoon. So my study will be done tonight after I have done some exercise.

 

[ms spock]

Tonight I completed my short study bites.

1x 5 minute drawing
1x 5 minute art history
1x 5 minute Visual Arts Diary Development.

1x 5 minute bird ID
1x 5 minute reading

1x 5 minute writing

I wasn't able to do my bino practice as I forgot to take them to the beach. But still pretty good when I was so physically ill this morning. I am pleased.

 

[safenow]

my bino practice

What is 'bino' please? Is it a musical instrument, like a banjo?